Hard to Love
by drotuno
Summary: I didn't know how to ask him if I was going to lose the one person that had loved me unconditionally my entire life. Bella Swan had been in every moment of my life since I was seven years old. Eighteen years. She was there for it all, and it wasn't supposed to end like this. AH/Canon couples. EPOV Rated M
1. Chapter 1

**A/N... Hey, guys! :D There are a few things to go over before starting this fic. First, it'll be a short story – shorter chapters than you're used to from me and only 11 chapters total. According to my amazing pre-readers – GooberLou, inkedupmom, and Beffers87 – not to mention my beautiful beta, JenRar...this fic comes with a huge TISSUE WARNING. It's also rated M for many, many things.**

**I've classified this as Hurt/Comfort/Angst/Friendship, but it's more than that. I will warn you this isn't the usual type of fic from me, so if you're expecting action or lots of lemons, this isn't it. There will be tough topics of physical abuse as well as drug and alcohol abuse. There is a touch of the fantastical to this fic, as well, especially when it comes to the medical part of the story. I need you to suspend a touch of reality for a bit. It IS fiction after all. ;)**

**Those of you that know my rules of writing, you need to have faith that those haven't changed, but this is a rough ride. Okay?**

**Finally, I don't, no matter how badly I wish it was different, own these characters. I just own my plot and my original characters. SM owns the rest.**

**~ooo~HtL~ooo~**

**Chapter 1**

**Forks, Washington  
Present Day**

The tires on my car squealed as I turned in to the closest parking space at the emergency room. Yanking up on the handbrake, I stopped, ran a shaky hand through my hair, and tried my damnedest to breathe. Lightning flickered across the sky as rain pelted my windshield, and all it did was reinforce the reason I was at the hospital in the first place. Getting out of the car, I bolted across the parking lot, hardly finding it in me to give a shit about locking the car.

Rushing up to the reception desk, I blurted out, "Bella Swan... Umm, _Isabella_ Swan." I wanted to strangle the old bitch behind the computer when she practically used one fucking finger to type. Instead, I rambled. "She was just brought in...car accident...Carlisle Cullen is her—"

"Edward!" I heard from the side door, and I left the woman still pecking away. My father pulled me into the hallway, grabbed my shoulders, and looked me square in the eye. "I need you to stay calm, son. Okay?"

I shook my head in denial, because he wouldn't start shit like that on a normal basis, but he'd never, _ever_ lied to me. My chest hurt, my eyes burned, and my breathing picked up. "No, Dad... Please."

He grabbed the side of my face. "We're doing everything we can for her, Edward, but you can't panic. She wouldn't want you to. You know that."

A grunt escaped me as I nodded and tried to rein in my emotions, and I focused on what he'd said. "So she's..."

He guided me down the hallway, saying, "She's stable, which means you can see her."

After several turns, I knew where we were: Intensive Care Unit. I stopped dead in my tracks at the end of the hallway.

"Just..." I gripped his sleeve. "Just...tell me, Dad. Before we go any farther. Is she... Will she.. Fuck, what happened?"

I didn't know how to ask him if I was going to lose the one person that had loved me unconditionally my entire life. I didn't know how to stop the shaking in my hands, either. Bella Swan had been in every moment of my life since I was seven fucking years old – through eighteen years of bullshit – including the time the man standing in front of me and his wife took me in off the streets and adopted me as their own son. She was there for it all, and it wasn't supposed to end like this.

My dad studied my face and nodded. "Listen to me, Edward. She's pretty banged up. According to Charlie—"

"Aw, shit...Charlie?" I gasped, gripping my hair.

"Yes, her father knows. He was first on the scene and called me at home. From what he can gather, she lost control on an icy patch and the car ran off the road." He made sure I was looking him in the eye before continuing. "She hit her head pretty hard, son. Head injuries can cause swelling and bleeding in the brain, which puts pressure on the brain stem. As of right now...she's unconscious."

"Coma?" I squeaked.

"Yes, but as I told you, we're doing everything within our power to help her. We'll have to monitor the swelling, make sure there isn't any bleeding within the layers of her brain, and once the swelling goes down, we hope that she'll wake up."

"She was meeting me," I whispered, looking up at him. "If she hadn't..."

"Don't do that, son. You'll kill yourself with the what ifs," he stated, squeezing my shoulder. "Now...can you handle seeing her?"

I could only nod. In fact, now I couldn't get to her quickly enough. I could see that he'd put her at the far end of the ICU, giving her as much privacy as he was able. When he drew the curtain back, my heart stopped. There were tubes and wires and soft beeping machines all connected to her, and if it weren't for the tube in her mouth, Bella merely looked to be asleep. Forgetting my dad was there, I shrugged out of my jacket and slung it across the chair, bending down to drop a kiss to her forehead. I brushed her dark curls out across the stark white pillow, thinking that just that morning, they'd been spread over our sheets.

"Don't you dare leave me now, Princess, you hear me?" I whispered against her skin, squeezing my eyes closed. "You've put up with me this long... I was hoping you wanted the job permanently."

The beeping changed a little at the sound of my voice, and I glanced up at Dad.

"Good, keep talking to her," he praised with a small smile.

"Can she hear me?" I asked him, but then, barely looking away from her, I tugged the chair closer, sitting down on the edge. "Bella, I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."

The beeps picked up and then slowed down.

"Maybe she can." My dad chuckled a bit, picking up her wrist and checking her pulse. "I figured you were staying. I'm going to let the nurses know. Just...don't drive them crazy, son. And if they need to run tests, just...let them do their jobs. Okay?"

"I swear...just..." I gazed up at him. "Bring her back to me."

"I'll do my very best, Edward," he vowed before leaving me alone with her.

My fingers trailed along her cheek, across the tiny scar on her chin she got when we were climbing trees one summer when we were eight, and down her arm. Picking up her hand, I brought it to my lips, reveling in the sense of complete and utter...home. Inhaling the scent of her, I smiled that she was wearing the perfume I liked.

"I remember the first time I held your hand, Princess," I sighed, playing with each of her fingers. "It was the first day we met, remember?" I smiled at the memory, but kept talking, simply to keep from falling apart. "You were this bright, happy...thing...all in pink. You had this sparkly band holding back all that hair." I chuckled and sniffled against her hand, toying with a long, dark curl. "God, you really did look like a princess to me..."

**~oOo~**

**Forks, Washington  
Age 7**

The sound of laughter made me mad as I walked out onto the playground, kicking a pine cone as I went. I hated being the new kid.

Stupid class. Stupid school. Stupid town. Stupid Mom and her new stupid boyfriend.

Rain dripped on my head, and I tugged my hood up, shoving my hands into my front pockets. It blocked out the sound of the laughter. They'd stared all day, whispering and giggling. I hated it. I knew my black sweatshirt was old and too big – a hand-me-down – and my sneakers were worn out. I didn't need a bunch of kids pointing it out.

"Did you see his hair?"

I glared over my shoulder. A group of girls looked my way and then laughed. I kicked the pine cone again, falling down into the last swing and pulling my hood forward. I wanted to go back home to Chicago, but my mom had wanted to move here. It wasn't fair.

I dug my sneakers into the dirt at my feet, pushing slowly back. When I swung forward, I had to slam my feet back down in order not to hit someone.

"Hi!" she chirped. "You're Edward Masen."

I nodded, staring at her. She was all in pink, with dark hair pulled back by a sparkly thing that looked like a crown. Her smile was big and she had a bunch of freckles across her nose. But her eyes reminded me of the picture of an angel I saw once in a church in Chicago.

"You're new, right?" she asked, and I nodded again. She giggled. "Don't you talk?"

"Yeah," I whispered, frowning up at her. Really, she'd been the first person to talk to me all day, besides the teacher. Everyone else just...stared.

"My name's Bella. Today's my birthday," she stated proudly, sitting down in the next swing.

"So?"

"I'm seven."

"I've _been_ seven since June," I argued, rolling my eyes.

"So we're the same." She kicked back and started to swing.

"No." I shook my head, swinging forward. "You're a _girl_."

Bella laughed, but for the first time all day, the sound didn't make me mad. "I mean the same age, silly!"

"I'm still older," I told her.

We were getting higher and higher, which caused my hood to fall back.

"His hair sticks up like a hedgehog!"

I stopped the swing, pulling my hood back up.

"No, don't," Bella begged, tugging my hand away. "I like it."

I glared at her, thinking she was making fun of me like everyone else, but her eyes were on my hair.

"My mom says I was licked by a cow or somethin'," I told her nervously, raking my hand through it. It always stuck up everywhere. I couldn't help it.

The girl shook her head. "No, it's pretty. Like a dark penny. You know, an old one." She smiled at me, pointing across the playground. "At least you're not boring, like Tyler. His mom uses a bowl to cut his. And Mike looks like a dumb scrub brush."

Grinning, I looked at the two boys she pointed to and then back to her. "Yeah?"

She nodded at me with a smile, but frowned when two girls walked up.

"Hey, Bella... Ask him where he got his shirt... The garbage?" a blonde girl with long braids sneered, while another one stood behind her, giggling.

"No. Go away, Lauren, or I'll tell everyone what happened at Angela's last week," Bella said, standing up from the swing. "Leave him alone. You've been laughing at him all day!"

Lauren's face turned red, but she spun around and walked away.

I stared at Bella when she turned to face me. I snorted, asking, "What happened?"

Bella bit her bottom lip. "She peed the bed."

I laughed, shaking my head.

"You can't say anything," she gasped. "Okay?"

"No, I won't. I swear." I crossed my heart.

"Edward, you like cupcakes?" she asked, and I nodded, licking my lips, because it had been forever since I'd had sweets. She held out her hand for mine. "Come on. I'll get you one. My mom made them for me."

I slipped my hand in hers, letting her pull me up from from the swing. It was warm, but even though she was a girl, it didn't feel funny to hold her hand, because she was my new friend.

**~oOo~**

**Present Day**

"Mike still looks like a dumb scrub brush," I murmured against the palm of her hand, rolling my eyes. "And Tyler's still boring." I chuckled, looking over at her sweet, yet blank face. "I always wondered if you knew – _just fucking knew – _how badly I'd needed someone...you...right then." I pulled my chair closer, resting my elbows on the side of the bed. "Did you? Did you know at seven that we'd be inseparable? What did your mom call us?"

"Thunder and Lightning, she called you," I heard behind me, and I glanced up to see Charlie standing there, still in uniform. "Because together, you were a storm a-brewin'. She still does."

I snorted, shaking my head.

"How ya holdin' up, son?" he asked, placing a hand on my shoulder. "I spoke to your dad."

Swallowing thickly, I nodded and shrugged at the same time, my eyes going back to the most important thing in the room. "He said to talk to her," I told him, scooting the chair back and looking over at him.

"What do I say?" he asked in a whisper that wasn't really a whisper.

I smirked. Charlie, while an amazing father and police chief, wasn't exactly verbose. We'd gotten along from the get-go, but I always assumed he'd known more about my home-life back then than he'd let on. While Bella Swan saved my soul, my heart, it was her father that had most likely saved my life. Without him stepping in, I was damned certain I wouldn't be alive right then.

"I don't know, Charlie," I said with a shrug. "I just started...talking. Watch." I leaned down to Bella, pressing a light kiss to her forehead. "Princess, your dad's here. Want to see him?"

The beeps on the monitor fluctuated, and I smiled over at Charlie, but it was the nurse behind him that made my smile fall. Tanya, according to her ID, glanced between us, looking nervous.

"I know about you," she said, pointing to me, "but..." She dragged out the word, her eyes landing on his badge. "There really should only be one person in at a time, Mr. Cullen."

Nodding, I turned to Charlie. "I'll give you time with her. I need to make some calls."

"Alice and Jasper?" he asked.

I nodded, rubbing the back of my neck because that was not going to be an easy call.

"Well, both your mothers are on their way, just so you know, son. But you might want to call Emmett."

"Yeah, okay," I conceded, thinking I'd call him first, just simply because Bella's big cousin was easier to deal with than Alice. Leaning down over Bella, I kissed her cheek this time. "I'm going to leave you with Charlie, Bella. I'm not far, I swear." I crossed my heart out of habit, even though she couldn't see me. "Come back to me, Princess."

**~ooo~HtL~ooo~**

**A/N... I'm not gonna bug you with very many A/Ns on this fic, unless there are questions that need addressing. If you're wondering how often this will update... Well, I'm looking at Fridays and Mondays. It'll fill in for a bit while some of you are waiting for me and Jenny to update _In Pursuit_ over on Sarge's Girls. LOL ;)**

**Feel free to come look for me on Facebook and/or Twitter. You can find my links on my profile. You'll also find the beautiful banner made for me by Beffers87, not to mention the inspirational pic that started this idea for me. So until next time, hang in there and... Mooches, Deb :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N... Holy hell! Your response to the first chapter was amazing, and I want to thank everyone that's willing to trust me on this. And big thanks to all that reviewed and chatted with me on FB and Twitter! Thank you so, so much! :)**

**Just to clarify for those that missed it. Edward and Bella met when they were seven years old...eighteen years ago, according to Edward. That makes them 25. And to recap...it was a car accident Bella was in – the car caught a patch of icy road. I promise that all blanks get filled in as the story is told. Okay?**

**I'll let you get on with it... Again...tissue warnings and speak of abuse...**

**~ooo~HtL~ooo~**

**Chapter 2**

**Present Day**

Glancing up at the clock, I saw that it was nearing almost ten. Bella had been brought in around seven thirty. In that time, she'd had a few more tests run and the nurse, Tanya, had changed the IV bags hanging up by her bed, but there'd been no changes in her condition. Charlie had stayed with Bella just long enough for me to get a couple of phone calls in, use the bathroom, and grab a really shitty cup of coffee.

I leaned my elbows on the edge of her bed, my fingers gripping my hair as my forehead fell onto her thigh. Fuck, I'd have given anything to hear her voice at this point. Anything. She could yell at me for leaving the wet towel on the bathroom floor, or my dirty cereal bowl in the sink, or even for coming home late from work. I didn't care. I just wanted to hear her.

A warm hand on my shoulder startled me, and I glanced up to see both our mothers standing just inside the curtain.

"Hey," I whispered, standing up and hugging Renee. I buried my nose in the shoulder of the woman that had brought me more comfort than the mother that had brought me into this world.

"Sweet boy, are you okay?" she asked in my ear, and I could barely nod. "You know...she's strong, Edward. She'll be just fine. I know my girl."

She pulled me back and cupped my face, and I could see the worry in them that matched my own. In fact, she hadn't looked that worried in a long time, and that time, it had been over me. She stood up on her toes to kiss my cheek, brushing my hair from my forehead.

"Um...they only want one at a time, so..." I gestured toward the hall, shoving my hands into the front pockets of my jeans.

"Come here, sweetie," my mom said, pulling me out of the room. "Nee...we'll be out here."

Renee and my adopted mother, Esme, were the very best of friends, and they had been for as long as I'd known either of them. Mom linked her arm through mine and guided me down the hall to an empty waiting room. I sank down onto the edge of the closest sofa, my elbows resting on my knees, but my mother's arm wrapped securely around my shoulders.

"She can't do this to me, Mom. She just _can't_. I don't know how to function without her," I muttered, finally losing my shit a little in front of the one person that would never, ever judge me on it. "I don't know how to..._be_ without her."

She pulled at me until we fell back against the cushions and then pressed my face to the crook of her neck. "That's usually how it is with soul mates, son," she said softly. "You're one half of the same beautiful whole. You two have always been that way." I nodded and sighed, but she went on. "But when one of those halves need to step up, they always find the strength. Hmm?" She placed her hand over my heart. "You find it here."

She held me for a minute, but then forced me to look at her. She swiped her thumbs underneath my eyes and smiled sadly. "You're so much stronger than you think. You always have been. The things you've experienced started so long ago that you just accepted it as the norm."

I took a deep breath and let it out, nodding that I knew she was right.

She huffed, patting my face gently. "You know your father's doing his very best to get our girl back up and about. He seems rather...positive with how she's progressing."

"I know." I looked down at my hands. "He came by and told me. He said the tests looked good, the swelling was down...barely...and there wasn't any bleeding."

"Good." She let out a sigh, gazing up at me. "Now...what can I do for _you_, son? You should eat something."

"I will, but not now," I told her. "Felix needs to be fed, and I don't know when I'll get back home. I can't leave right now."

Mom chuckled. "No, he could use a diet, but I'll stop by your place on our way home."

Grinning, I shook my head. "That's all Bella's doing. She shares everything she eats with that cat. She says he's had a rough life, so he deserves some luxuries." I snorted, rolling my eyes at that, because I was pretty sure Bella had taken me in as a stray, too.

"Bella's always had a giving heart." Mom studied my face for a moment, like she was debating on asking me something, but finally spoke. "You didn't ask her yet."

I shook my head, my nostrils flaring as I tried to rein in my emotions. "No, I was going to ask her tonight, but..." I swallowed nervously, tugging on my hair. "I was going to do it at the playground of Forks Elementary. The ring's still in my jacket."

"Oh, Edward...you were going back to the beginning?" she gasped, and I nodded. She cupped my chin, making me look her in the eye. "You'll get your chance, sweet boy, and she'll say yes."

It was too much to hope for, and I honestly couldn't let my heart go there. We both looked up when Renee walked into the waiting room. Her eyes were a little red, but she still smiled my way.

"We need to stop by Edward and Bella's place on our way home," my mom told her, wearing a smirk. "Felix..."

Renee rolled her eyes. "He could use a skipped meal now and then," she said with a snicker, but she looked to me. "We'll be back in the morning. We'll bring you a change of clothes, okay?"

"Thanks," I whispered, standing up to hug them both.

"Get back to her, son," Mom told me, kissing my cheek. "And remember, we love you. If you need us, just call. Otherwise, we'll see you in the morning."

We walked back out to the hallway, but went opposite directions. When I wandered slowly by the nurse's station, Tanya gave me a pity-smile. I shot a wave her way, diving back behind the curtain.

"Hey, Princess, I'm back. Our mom's were here, together – as if it would be any other way," I said with a chuckle against her forehead. I took my usual seat, leaning on the bed and picking up her hand. "I think they wanted us together our whole lives, Bella," I snorted, shaking my head, but my eye fell on a tear that leaked from her eye.

"It happens," Tanya, who'd come silently into the room, said softly, checking machines and notating Bella's chart. "It's an involuntary action. The eyes produce tears all on their own."

I nodded in acceptance, but I didn't say anything. Tanya puttered around the room, finally ending up in a cabinet by the sink. She tugged out a small blanket.

"It's not much, but I can see you'll probably need it before the night is over. Press the button if I can get you anything," she said, handing the stiff blanket over.

"Thanks." I set the thing down behind me in the chair.

"Just...keep talking to her," she suggested, wearing a smile. "I've always believed there's a part of our souls that can hear what's said."

My eyes raked over her face. The sincerity there was warm and kind. I supposed on some level, she'd be considered pretty, but I hadn't looked at another girl since I was fifteen years old. Bella had always been the only one to own my heart.

I nodded with a muttered, "Okay."

"I'm right outside if you need me." She left us then, drawing the curtain back closed.

Turning back to Bella, I took a deep breath. "I spoke to Emmett," I started simply, linking her limp fingers with mine. "He said to tell you he was on his way and that this doesn't excuse you from work." I grinned, shaking my head. "He also said that the deliveries went fine at the bakery and to not worry. The Johnson wedding will go off without a hitch." I picked up our hands, kissing the back of hers. "He hasn't changed since the day I first met him. And that was a pretty shitty day." I sighed, frowning when another "involuntary" tear escaped Bella's eye. "You cried that day, too, Princess..."

**~oOo~**

**Forks, Washington  
Age 9**

"And the prince and the princess lived happily ever after," Bella proclaimed, slamming the book closed. "That one's my favorite."

"You need to read somethin' with more sword fighting and dragons, _Princess_," I teased her, looking up from the paper in my lap. "Read that other one, Bella."

She rolled her eyes at me and picked up the next book, but before she could start, my stomach gave a growl, which caused her to giggle.

"Come on, Edward. Let's see if Mom has a snack," she said as she tossed the book down. She stood up and offered me her hand, and I took it, standing with her.

"Hey, you think she has cookies?" I asked hopefully. Bella's mom made the best snacks.

"Dunno," she sang. "Race you!"

She let go of my hand as we ran through her backyard, around the side of the house, and barreled in through the kitchen door.

"Hey, hey, hey," Renee scolded. "Slow down, Thunder and Lightning. What's the big hurry?"

Bella and I pulled at each other to get to the stack of cookies on the plate at the counter, our laughter ringing out everywhere. But Renee merely shook her head at us, finally reaching out to rip us apart.

"Why you call us that?" I asked with a grin, reaching out to tug Bella's long ponytail.

Renee laughed, settling us down on opposite sides of the kitchen table. "Don't move," she told us with a point of her finger. "Because you two are a big ole storm running through my house."

"So which one's which?" Bella asked, biting her bottom lip as she kicked me under the table.

"You, my crazy girl, are thunder," Renee explained, opening the cabinet over the sink to pull out two glasses. "All noise and strength." She set the glasses on the counter, getting out the milk. "Edward...is lightning...all flash and speed."

She set two cookies each for us on a plate, and I licked my lips at the fact that they were chocolate chip.

"And you can't have one without the other," she told us, setting the plates down. "Goodness, Edward. It's the middle of summer. Aren't you hot?"

I glanced down at my sweatshirt, shaking my head, even though my hair was wet with sweat. I wasn't allowed to take it off.

"Well, at least go wash your hands, both of you," she sighed. "I didn't realize you'd been digging in the dirt like gophers."

Bella and I laughed and got up to go to the kitchen sink, which turned into another race.

"Honestly, you two..." Renee giggled, shaking her head.

We all looked up when Bella's dad came through the door.

"Hi, Daddy!" Bella sang, sticking her hands under the water.

"Ah...the storm front's here, I see." He laughed, kissing the top of her head. "Edward..."

"Hiya, Chief!" I piped up, shoving my sweatshirt sleeves up and waving.

He grinned, shaking his head at me, but his eyes looked to my arm, his mustache turning down to a frown. His eyes glanced to Renee, who was setting our two glasses of milk on the table.

He sat down with us at the table as we ate, asking, "So what did you two do today?"

"We've been drawin' and readin'," Bella told him, and I nodded, gulping down my milk.

"Hmm..." He rubbed his mustache, looking at me as I practically shoved a whole cookie in my mouth. "No tree climbing, no rough-housing?"

"Nah, Chief," I mumbled around a full mouth. "We were right back there." I pointed a thumb to the backyard.

Before I could put it back down on the table, he grabbed my arm and shoved my sleeve up. I hissed in pain, trying to pull it back. I'd broken a glass and been punished for it. Mom had said Roger was sorry, but I had to cover it up. Otherwise, we'd have to move. I couldn't move again. I liked Forks. Bella was my best friend. I couldn't move away.

He sniffed once. "Hey, Bells...why don't you go see if Emmett can come out to play? He's right across the street."

"Em's here?" she squeaked with a grin. "That's my cousin, Edward. Maybe we can get him to play tag."

"Yeah, his daddy's been sent overseas, so his momma's staying with Emmett's grandmother for a while," Charlie said, adding another cookie to my plate as Bella bolted out the front door. "Eat, Ed, and tell me... Where'd the bruises come from?"

I dropped the cookie and shook my head. My breathing picked up and tears welled up in my eyes, but I couldn't stop it. I was happy at Bella's house. Why'd I have to screw up? Mom was going to be so mad.

Renee knelt by my chair and picked up my arm. "Oh, Charlie...these are..."

"Yeah, I know. Ed, you gotta talk to me, kid. I promise you, you're not in trouble," Charlie soothed, ruffling my hair.

"I can't say! I'm not allowed!" I sobbed, looking to Renee. "I'm already in trouble... I'll be in more! And I can't come back!"

Renee scooped me up and set me on the countertop, cupping my face. "Hush now, sweet boy. You're so not in trouble. What happened?" she asked, unzipping my hoodie. She opened it up and lifted the T-shirt underneath, gasping. "Charlie, call Carlisle."

I shook my head, snatched my shirt down, and zipped my sweatshirt up again. "I broke a glass, okay?" I snapped, feeling terrible for being rude. Bella's parents rocked, but I couldn't say.

"Okay, Ed, just...go outside for a bit. All right?" Charlie said, setting me back down onto the floor.

Before he could change his mind, I headed outside. Bella was laughing with an older kid. He was big, too. He had dark, curly hair, and a big smile.

"You Edward?" he asked, and I nodded.

"Edward, Emmett's eleven," Bella whispered. "His dad's a soldier."

"Heck, yeah. I'm gonna join the Army too when I get older," Emmett announced. "Hey...you been cryin'?" he asked.

"No!" I snapped, shaking my head. "Let's just...play somethin'."

"Fine, dude," Emmett said with a chuckle and then tapped my shoulder. "Tag. You're it."

With a scream, Bella took off running and I bolted after her. By the time a dark car pulled into Bella's driveway, I was hiding from Emmett in the bushes by the front door, but Renee called out for all of us.

"Hey, Bella, Edward, Emmett," she yelled. "It's getting dark. Time to come in!"

I stood up from my spot at the same time Bella and Emmett ran up the front steps. The man and woman standing with Bella's mom watched me walk up. The man had blond hair and kind blue eyes. The woman's hair reminded me of a jar of honey.

"Emmett...why don't you and Bella go find a movie to watch, okay?"

"Yes, Aunt Renee," Emmett replied, pushing Bella inside as she laughed.

"Edward, come here," Renee called, kneeling down. "I'd like you to meet my very good friends. This is Esme and Carlisle Cullen. Carlisle's a doctor."

I waved, looking up at him, but Renee turned me her way. "I'd like Dr. Cullen to take a look at those bruises on you. You don't have to say anything, sweet boy, but at least let him check you out. Please?"

Swallowing nervously, I nodded. "Okay."

We walked into the house and up the stairs to the extra room I sometimes slept in when I was allowed to sleep over. I plopped down on the side of the bed, and Dr. Cullen shut the door.

"Edward, I know you're nervous, but I won't hurt you. I promise," he said, setting down a black bag and pulling the chair in the corner over in front of me. "How old are you, son?"

"Nine...almost nine and a half," I told him, lifting my arms when he tugged off my shirts.

I hissed when he listened to my heart, because the thing was cold. He apologized but asked me to drop my jeans at the same time Charlie stepped into the room.

"Hiya, Chief," I muttered, looking down at the floor.

"Hiya, kiddo," Charlie sighed, sitting next to me. "Buddy, you said you got into trouble. What happened?"

"I broke a glass and woke up Roger," I stated, looking between Dr. Cullen and the chief. "I'm not supposed to tell anyone. She'll make me move again. I don't wanna move. I like it here."

Dr. Cullen stood up. "You can put your clothes back on, Edward." He looked to Charlie. "Without X-rays, I can't tell if anything is fractured, but he doesn't seem to be anything other than bruised. It's like he's been used as a punching bag."

Frowning, I looked down at my bare chest. "I'm not a punching bag... My mom just says I'm hard to love. She says I look too much like my dad, but I don't know who that is."

"Edward, where are you?" Bella burst through the door. "There you..." Her eyes locked onto my chest. "What happened?"

"I got in trouble. Broke a glass, Bella," I sighed, pulling my shirts back on. "Roger got mad."

She frowned at me. "You said he went away."

"He's back."

"Not if I can help it," Charlie muttered, shaking his head, but he looked to Dr. Cullen. "Wanna take a ride with me?"

"Absolutely."

They left us in the room, but Bella sniffled, grabbing my sleeve and pushing it up. "Does it hurt?" she asked.

I shrugged. "Not as bad as yesterday." Frowning at her sad face, I said, "Mom will be mad that Charlie knows. She'll want to move again."

"My dad'll fix it," she vowed.

"Ya think?"

"I swear," she promised, crossing her heart.

**~oOo~**

**Present Day**

"Oh, he fixed it, all right." I snorted against Bella's hand. "He thought he was slick, but when he came back and told me I was staying at your house for the remainder of the weekend, his hand was cut up." I sighed, sitting back in the chair. "That asshole left me alone for a long time after that. He moved out for a while. Mom swore she was done with him, but...she always took him back."

Setting Bella's hand down, I sighed deeply. Carlisle explained to me much later that he and Esme had started the process the very next day to become foster parents. Charlie helped them every step of the way. Apparently, their faith in my mother and Roger wasn't all that strong, either.

"None of that shit matters, you know," I told her. "Not without you here."

I must've nodded off at some point, because I snapped awake when I was shaken. Opening my eyes, I gazed blearily up at Emmett. He was still a huge guy, only now he had tattoos showing his time in the Army. Once he'd gotten out, he and Bella had put their love for baking together and opened a shop here in Forks.

"Damn, bro...you were havin' a nightmare or somethin'," he stated, pointing to the nurse at the curtain.

"Shit. Sorry," I sighed, shaking my head and rubbing my face. The beeps were a little faster than usual from the machine, and I gazed over at Bella, leaning over her. "I'm okay, Princess," I told her softly, because by now, I really did think she was listening – or at least, I was hoping she was. "Just a dream. I didn't mean to scare you."

The beeping evened out and Emmett sighed. "Damn, she can hear?"

"I don't know," I groaned, shrugging a shoulder. "Maybe it's in my head. Or maybe it's wishful thinking. Dad's not sure, the nurse says yes, but if I don't do something, I'll losing my fucking mind."

"Fair enough," he conceded, looking down at his cousin. "Knowing Bella, though, she's probably eavesdropping on all of us."

Grinning, I kissed her forehead. "Don't mind him, baby. We all know it's your way of watching out for us." I stood up straight. "Can you stay with her for a few? I need to check my messages. Alice and Jasper were trying to get a flight out tonight."

"Ten-four. I'll hang with my girl." He smiled down at Bella, taking my chair.

I kissed her cheek, whispering. "I love you, Princess. Please, come back to me."

**~ooo~HtL~ooo~**

**A/N... :) Thunder and Lightning. :) And yes, you'll meet Felix eventually. He's a character all his own.**

**Big thanks to all my girls that helped me with this... And I'll see you Friday. Until then... Mooches, Deb :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N... I'm updating early for RL simplicity. :) Lucky for you guys, but it sucks for me schedule-wise tomorrow. LOL**

**Okay, listen... You know that things have a tendency to get tougher before they get better. That's this chapter. You WILL need tissues. You'll probably need anger management. And you'll need to be warned about violence against children. This was one of the hardest chapters to write, but it needed to be done. You need to see how strong our Edward was, even as a child. **

**I want to thank everyone that's taking a chance on this even when it's hurting. It means SO much... Let's check in at the hospital...**

**~ooo~HtL~ooo~**

**Chapter 3**

**Present Day**

Blinking blearily at the sunlight coming into the room, I winced when my back gave a twinge from sleeping all twisted in the chair. The room still smelled like antiseptic and sick people, but added into it was the smell of flowers. The biggest arrangement had been delivered first thing, and it was from Alice and Jasper, who couldn't get a flight out until later today.

Rubbing my face, I sat up. I had to touch her. It was impossible to stop. Linking our fingers together, I brought the back of her hand to my lips.

"Morning, Princess," I whispered against her skin. "Fuck, I miss your voice. Bet you never thought I'd say that, huh?" I snorted, rolling my eyes and standing up. I pressed a long kiss to her forehead. "I'll be right back, Bella. I swear." I crossed my heart and then left the room to find the bathroom...and coffee.

I didn't want to leave her alone for long, but I needed to check my messages while I was outside of the ICU. Mom had called to say she'd be by in an hour with a change of clothes for me. Emmett had texted to check in, even though he'd stayed with me the night before for just about two hours. And my boss had called – I called her back immediately and left a message that I wouldn't be in the rest of the week. The school would have to live without me.

Entering the ICU again, shitty coffee in hand, I ran into a friendly face.

"Edward," Rose sighed, coming from behind the nurse's station to hug me. "God, I'm sorry. Emmett told me last night..." Her voice trailed off, but she placed her hand on my shoulder. "Listen, I'm her nurse until seven tonight, so you let me know if you need a break or something, okay?"

I smiled up at her and nodded. "Thanks, Rose."

Rose and Emmett had been together since before he'd left the Army. He'd met her while stationed in Florida, and they'd gotten married almost instantly. When he finally came home to Forks, she'd had a hard time adjusting, but she was getting there. She was a good friend, a good nurse, and what a lot of people didn't know was that she and I had had very, very similar upbringings.

"Your dad's in there now," she said softly. "I'm not sure he even left the hospital last night."

"Really?" I gasped, almost choking on my sip of coffee, and I left her as I dived behind the curtain.

I found him notating Bella's chart, talking to her softly about all the little injuries he'd fixed on her over the years.

"She'd hate that you were bringing up her clumsy phase," I told him.

He grinned my way. "Good, then she can wake up and tell me off."

"I'd pay to see that," I said, not really joking as I sat down in my chair. "Any changes?"

His face sobered up and he shook his head. "Minor ones. The swelling is down a little. We're keeping any infections at bay with these," he said, tapping at the IV bags hanging up on the pole. "However, her brain activity is strong. She's in there, but her brain is too swollen to allow her to wake up."

My eyes narrowed on him. "What _aren't_ you telling me?"

He came to stand beside me and picked up her hand. It wasn't in a doctor-type way, but as a man that had known the girl in the bed for years. He looked as worried about her as if she were his own.

"I'm hoping the swelling goes down a little more today, Edward," he sighed, looking to me as he put her hand back down onto the bed. "If not, we'll have to...relieve some of the pressure."

I froze for a moment, glancing between her and him. "You mean...brain surgery."

"I really don't want to do that, so we'll keep an eye on her today," he told me, giving my shoulder a squeeze. "But if nothing changes, I'll have to sit down with Charlie and Renee...and you, of course, and discuss the next steps."

Tears welled up in my eyes as I lifted her hand to my lips. "I can't... I don't want to make these decisions without her," I whispered.

"I know, son," he soothed, rubbing my shoulder. "Let's give it some time before we go to that next step. Okay?" He lifted my chin so I was looking him in the eye. "Edward...your mother and I are here for you, no matter what happens. We love you – you _and_ Bella – so please know that you don't have to shoulder all of this yourself."

Nodding, I stayed quiet for a moment until I could speak. "Thanks, Dad."

"Mmhm. Now, I'll be back in a little bit to check on you both. And see to it that you get more in you than that awful coffee from the cafeteria," he instructed, wearing a wry smirk.

I laughed softly. "It is pretty bad."

"I believe the nurses call it battery acid," he stated with a grimace to his face as he went to leave. "Have Rose page me if you need me."

"Will do," I muttered, turning back to Bella once he closed the curtain. "You got everybody worried, Princess," I said almost in a chiding manner. "Even my dad looks...frazzled...and he never lets shit get to him." I sighed, shaking my head. "You gotta get better, Bella. You gotta come back to me. And I know what you'd tell me, that I'm surrounded by family and that they care, but... No offense, baby, but all I want is you back."

I felt almost angry at her at the moment, like she was doing this on purpose, which I knew wasn't true, but damn it all, I just wanted her back.

I shook my head to clear it. "I'm sorry, Princess. My bad. I know you're right. You've been right since we were eleven. They _are_ my family... They're more of a family than anyone that was blood related..."

**~oOo~**

**Age 11**

Sneaking through the house, I could hear my mom and Roger in the living room. The TV was up loud enough to cover the creak in the floorboard I stepped on. I smelled cigarettes and beer and weed. The weed didn't smell too bad, and I wished that was the only drug in the house. At least it made them more relaxed.

As quietly as I could, I opened the fridge, then the cabinets. Shaking my head, I walked back into my room and closed the door. Reaching for my backpack, I snatched out the bag that Bella had given me. She'd been sneaking me food for a week. My mother couldn't seem to make it to the store, and by the time they'd bought pizza or burgers for themselves, there weren't any leftovers for me. I'd survived on dinners at Bella's house and school lunches, but at home, there wasn't much but a few cans of beans.

I unwrapped the sandwich Bella had made. Peanut butter and strawberry jam. I'd have loved a glass of milk, but I'd have to live without it. I peeked into the bag, smiling that Bella had remembered a small bag of chips and a few of her mom's cookies, but I tucked them back into my school bag for later. The cookies would be breakfast on the way to school in the morning.

The sound of something being thrown against the wall made me tense up. I was hoping they'd go at least one night without fighting, but apparently not. It happened all the time. They'd get drunk and fight. They'd get high and fight. Or...the beer or drugs would be gone and they'd fight.

Finishing up my sandwich, I rolled my eyes at the yelling, the name calling, and the breaking of stuff in the living room. Kids in our sixth grade class didn't fight this much, and most of them were jerks. Roger had been back for a month or two. Personally, I hoped he'd go back to jail, because my mom was kind of normal when he wasn't around.

When my mom screamed, I ran out of my room to see that Roger had her by the neck up against the wall.

"Put her down!" I yelled, jumping on his back. He was built like a big gorilla, so he was able to throw me off easily. I may have grown taller than some of my friends, especially Bella, but I was still skinny and fell to the floor with a grunt. "Ow," I hissed, rubbing the back of my head when it caught the edge of the coffee table.

Beer cans and ashtrays spilled everywhere.

"Look what you did, you little shit!" Roger snapped, letting go of my mom, who slumped to the floor, gasping for air. "Clean it up!"

"I'm not cleaning it up. It's _your_ mess and this is _our_ house!" I yelled back. "_You_ clean it up."

I knew it was coming, but the sting of his punch to my face still knocked me across the room. I could take the hits; my mother couldn't. Squeezing my eyes closed, I shook my head and picked myself back up. If he saw tears, he'd only make it worse. Sometimes, it was punches. Other times, it was only mean things yelled at me.

"Clean it up!" he growled again, starting to walk toward me.

"No!" I yelled, my hands in fists at my side, only this time, my fingers wrapped around a beer bottle.

He raised his hand to hit me again, but I brought the bottle down onto his arm. It broke on his watch, cutting my hand, but I stopped when I heard my mother's voice.

"Edward, just clean it up..." She sounded so defeated, so lifeless.

Roger took advantage of my distraction, slapping my face again with the back of his hand.

"Do what you mother tells you," he sneered. "Do it or you won't walk tomorrow."

By the time I picked myself back up, grabbed a garbage bag from the kitchen, and cleaned up the messy living room, my lip was bleeding and I could hear the two of them in my mom's room. I knew what those sounds meant, and the thought made me sick. Rolling my eyes, I tossed the garbage bag into the can just outside the door and went into my room to wait.

I couldn't stay there. Not that they'd miss me. They'd sleep it off, wake up thinking I'd gone to school, and go to work the next day.

Once the house was quiet again, I packed clothes for school the next day, grabbed my school bag, and pulled on my hoodie and a jacket. My hoodie was still pretty new. Bella's parents had given it to me for Christmas. I wasn't sure where I was going as I opened my window and crawled out, but I wasn't staying there. The school had a loose lock on the gym, but as the cold, wet, winter air hit me once I was outside, the only place I could think to go was Bella's. That was safe. That was where I felt good.

Pulling my hood up, I trudged the sidewalk through the misty air. I could see my breath every time I exhaled. I'd gotten about two blocks before headlights shined on me. Charlie's cruiser came up beside me.

"Edward? Is that you?"

"Hiya, Chief," I sighed, not looking at him.

"Buddy, it's like ten thirty at night. What are you doing out?" he asked, easing the car up as I walked. "Stop, kid. Come here."

I walked to the window of his car, looking down at my soaked sneakers. He reached up and pulled my hood back.

"He's back," he stated, and I nodded, still looking at my shoes. "Climb in."

Swallowing thickly, I walked around the front of his police car and climbed in the front seat, setting my stuff down between my feet.

"How long?"

"Coupla months," I answered, looking out the window. "Mom needed rent money. He stayed ever since she called him."

Charlie sighed deeply and shook his head slowly. He stayed quiet until we pulled into the driveway, but he didn't turn off the car.

Turning a little in his seat, he spoke softly. "I can't let it go this time, Buddy. I gotta stop them. You're too good of a kid to put up with it. I can't let them hurt you anymore."

Tears welled up in my eyes, making my sore eye sting, but I looked up at him. "Where will I go?"

"Easy, son," he soothed, rubbing my shoulder. "You can stay here for the next night or two, but you're not _going_ anywhere. I've kinda been planning for you, okay?"

I nodded and sniffled. "Cop's instinct?" I asked, giving him a half smile when he chuckled, because he always talked about having hunches about bad guys.

"Nah, kid. A dad's instinct," he sighed, ruffling my hair. "Let's get you inside and out of those wet clothes."

Charlie shut off the car and snatched up my bags for me, leading me inside. Renee was standing in the kitchen, and her eyes landed on me.

"Edward, what are you doing here?" she asked, hugging me.

The feel of her arms around me made me start to cry, and I couldn't stop. I felt her pick me up, even though I was too big.

"Easy, sweet boy. It's all going to be okay."

I could hear Charlie on the phone, but I didn't know what was said. I only heard Renee. The soft tone of her voice was the last thing I heard as I fell asleep.

I woke up the next morning in the room next to Bella's, and someone had changed me into dry clothes. Fingers poked me, and I opened my eyes to see Bella sitting on the edge of my bed.

"Mom said you came last night," she whispered. "We're not going to school today."

I sat up, rubbing my face and hissing at my sore lip and eye. I looked to Bella. "How bad is it?"

She frowned, reaching up to push my hair up a little. "Pretty bad. We can always say I beat you up for cheating at cards or somethin'."

Rolling my eyes, I snorted. "No one would believe that."

"We'll come up with somethin', Edward. I swear." She crossed her heart and then offered me her hand. "Mom wanted me to wake you. They need to talk to you. Dr. Cullen is here."

"Wait," I whispered, pulling her back to the bed. "Did you listen?"

Bella nodded and frowned a little. "I think my dad arrested your mom and Roger last night. I heard somethin' about foster care. They've tried to be quiet, but I hid behind the wall."

"I don't wanna go away," I muttered, pulling at a loose string on the blue covers.

"I don't think you are," she whispered, scooting closer to me. "I think Carlisle and Esme are going to take you home with them. They said somethin' about bein' foster _parents_."

I frowned, gripping the covers. "They're not my parents," I seethed.

"Stop it, Edward," she snapped in a hiss. "I know that! But they want to take care of you."

"I can take care of myself," I growled, getting up off the bed, but she ran around to stand up to me, even though she was shorter than me. When she reached up and poked my sore lip, I cried out, "Ow, Bella!"

"Yeah, you can take care of yourself," she said to me with a scowl on her face. "I hate your mom, Edward! She should be like my mom and hug you when you're hurt, not let it happen. And Roger is a monster!"

I folded my arms across my chest, glaring down at the floor. I didn't know why I was angry. I just was.

"Great, now you're mad at me," she huffed, throwing her hands up and sitting on the end of the bed. "I just...I hate it when you're bruised up."

"I'm not mad at _you_, Princess," I grumbled, sitting next to her. "You're my best friend, but my mom..."

She glared at me, a sneer on her face. "Your _mom_ doesn't care. _My _mom was crying this morning about how hurt you were, which made Esme cry, too. _They_ care. They scared me, so I asked if I could wake you up."

I took a deep breath and let it out. "What do I say?" I whispered.

She smiled, stood up, and handed me my jeans. "No one down there is bad, Edward. Just...talk to them."

I went into the bathroom, peed, changed out of my pajamas, and washed my face. When I came back into the room, Bella looked up at me, biting her bottom lip.

"You promise you're not mad at me?" she asked.

"No, Bella. I swear." I crossed my heart. I could never stay mad at her. She was the only one at school that knew about my mom, and she'd never told anyone. "But you'll stay with me?"

She crossed her heart and nodded, holding her hand out for mine and leading me downstairs.

**~oOo~**

**Present Day**

"That was a strange day," I sighed, twirling a dark curl around my finger. "Though the fact that you told our whole sixth grade class the next Monday that I got those bruises fighting a bear was awesome!" I grinned, shaking my head. "And I swear Carlisle and Esme were saints back then. I had to have been like bringing home a feral cat..." I snorted, rolling my eyes. "Speaking of feral... Felix is being taken care of. Our moms are stopping to feed him. He'll just have to live without ice cream 'till you get home, baby."

A giggle at the curtain caught my attention, and I turned to see Rose standing there.

"Felix can go a day...or month...without ice cream," she stated, but held out her hand for me. "Come on, Edward. I'm going on a break. You can keep me company and eat something."

I grimaced. "Dad?"

"Yeah."

Nodding, I stood up, only to press kisses to Bella's forehead and cheek. "Heaven forbid no ice cream for Felix," I teased in her ear. "I'll be back, Princess. Maybe I'll find our moms while I'm gone and bring them back with me. Hmm? Would you like that?" I asked, smiling against her cheek when the heart monitor bleeped differently. "That's my girl. I won't be long." I crossed my heart before meeting Rose in the corridor.

**~ooo~HtL~ooo~**

**A/N... I know that you're curious about what Edward does...among many other things, but someone said this story was like peeling back the layers of an onion. Yeah! A bit. So patience. ALL holes get filled in.**

**And I will tell you that's the last of Edward's physical abuse at the hands of Roger.**

**Thank you again for taking the chance on something so different from me. I'll see you Monday. Mooches, Deb. :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N... Your support of this fic is almost overwhelming. Thank you so much!**

**I think you're safe without tissues for this chapter. Anger management? Not so much. ;) **

**Again, I need you to suspend reality a bit when it comes to Bella's medical condition. Although, I love the fact that most of you are absolutely _certain_ that she can hear Edward. That's the kind of faith you need... ;)**

**I'll let you get on with it...**

**~ooo~HtL~ooo~**

**Chapter 4**

**Present Day**

"So you've been telling her your whole story?" Rose asked before taking a sip of her water.

I laughed and shrugged, looking down at the sandwich in front of me. "Yeah. I didn't know what else to say to her, and I don't know... We've never really talked about it. It always was just...there."

"Well, you've been together since you were kids," she stated the obvious. "Maybe _you_ needed to talk about it."

Sighing, I took a sip of my soda. "Maybe."

Rose lightly poked my hand with her fork. "C'mon, Edward. You're the school counselor, so you of all people should know how healing talking something out can be."

"That's true, but I've got...what? A couple of promiscuous teens, a few harmless troublemakers, and one kid whose father died in Iraq. And while that last one is tragic, he's handling it pretty well, but there's no one that I've found that was like me."

"Then, that's a good thing," she reminded me, raising her eyebrows at me.

Smiling, I nodded. "Yeah."

"No offense, but why'd your mom move you guys here all the way from Chicago?" she asked.

I chewed a bite of sandwich, swallowing it. "I didn't know until later, but I apparently had a grandmother here. Her mom. But we never saw her. I guess when my mom got pregnant with me, she was kicked out...um, disowned. My grandmother died when I was thirteen. I didn't know anything about her until she was already dead." Suddenly, my sandwich tasted like paper, and I tossed the rest down onto the plate. "I need to get back..."

"Not so fast, handsome," my mother stated, pushing me back down into my chair and taking the one next to me.

Chuckling, I looked over at her. "You gonna make me clean my plate?"

"I can't _make_ you do anything, Edward Anthony," she sighed dramatically, adding a roll of her eyes for emphasis. "I've never been able to _make_ you do what you didn't want to do in the first place."

Rose giggle-snorted, but hid it behind her napkin.

Mom shot her a wink, but turned back to me. "I dropped you some clothes off in Bella's room. Your father was running some more tests on her, so you might as well sit tight for a minute." She pushed my plate closer to me, raising an eyebrow at me.

Smirking her way, I picked up the last half of my ham and cheese and took another bite. It still tasted like paper. By the time I was done with my food, Emmett had joined us in the cafeteria, as well as Renee and Charlie. Looking around at all of them, I felt saddened that Bella was missing it. She loved when we all got together.

Once we got back to the ICU, Rose went back to work and everyone else took turns sitting with Bella while I cleaned up in the bathroom. It was the middle of the afternoon when I finally had the room all to myself again.

I took my usual seat, after kissing her forehead and noticing that her hair had been brushed and her face cleaned up a little. Between Rose and the moms, it could've been any of them that had done it. Trailing a finger down her face, I sighed at just how beautiful she was. She'd always been pretty, but I'd never really started paying attention until we were in our teens – probably later than I normally would have, considering the shit going on in my life.

"I miss you, Princess," I sighed, playing with her fingers, especially the one I'd hoped would've had a ring on it by now. I swallowed back my emotions, glancing up at her face. "I feel...lost. You've always kept me grounded, and right now, I feel like I'm floating aimlessly. And it's only been...what? A day? Not even twenty-four hours." Leaning my elbows on the side of the bed, I kissed the inside of her wrist, letting the flutter of her pulse press against my lips. "Rose asked about why I moved here all those years ago, which led to Grandma Masen." I frowned, shaking my head. "I don't know what I would've done without you. I was fucking ticking time bomb."

**~oOo~**

**Age 13**

The bell rang, signaling the end of the day, and I slung my backpack over my shoulder. I needed to get home straight from school, but I had to find Bella first. The halls were filled with idiot guys and squealing girls, none of whom I paid attention. My mind was on something else. My mom was supposed to visit again today, but she'd bailed out the last three weeks in a row, and before that, I'd probably seen her four times in the last year. She'd been granted supervised visitations, but she hated the Cullens. Well, she not so much hated them as envied them. She was jealous.

I'd gone from a shit-hole apartment to a huge house. Anything I needed, anything I asked for, I got. I had new clothes, the latest sneakers, a brand new bike, and more video games than I could play. I also went from pretty much being on my own to having two people that really cared about me, that asked how I was doing, even when it bugged me. Carlisle and Esme were great. And Elizabeth Masen saw that. She saw that I was as close to happy as I could be. She also knew the Cullens wanted to adopt me, and it made her green with envy.

I knew she could barely look at me, much less come for a visit. So I braced myself for her to not be there when Bella and I got home from school.

I found Bella by her locker, looking pretty pissed at something Mike Newton was saying to her. His boy, Tyler, was right behind him wearing a smug smile. I wasn't stupid. I heard the stuff they said about girls in the gym locker room. Lauren had a nice ass, Jessica's tits were getting bigger, as were Bella's...it was all trash talk.

Bella spun so quickly in front of Mike that her ponytail smacked him in the face, but when she shoved him, looking all sorts of pissed, I rushed to her, dropping my bag by her feet.

"What'd he say?" I asked her, but she only glared at him, shaking her head. Finally deciding I'd had enough of his laughing at her, I gripped the front of his shirt and slammed him into the lockers across the hallway. "Maybe _you'll_ tell me what you said... Spill it, Newton," I sneered. I was taller than him, although still considered skinny, but my temper gave me the advantage. "What did you say to her?" I slammed his head again.

"Edward, stop!" Bella begged, pulling at the sleeve of my jacket. "It's not worth it..."

"I simply asked her if she was a size B-cup yet. I was willing to feel them for her to be sure," Mike taunted.

I slammed him into the lockers again, holding his neck with one hand while pulling my other back to punch the shit out of him. I was pretty sure Mike grossed Bella out to no end. She'd said so to me more than once.

But Bella grabbed onto my arm and held on for dear life. "Don't you dare!" she hissed in my ear. "You'll get into trouble again, and we won't be able to go to the movies in Port Angeles on Saturday."

I glared at her, my nostrils flaring, but I knew she was right. Esme had promised to take us.

"Please?" she begged again, gripping my jacket sleeve. "Besides, we have to get going."

With one last shove, I let Newton go, backing away from him. "Leave her alone, Newton. Next time, I will kick your ass."

"Hey, wait," Tyler said, glancing between Bella and me. "This Saturday's the mixer. You two aren't going?"

I looked to Bella. "Did you want to?"

"No. Did you?" she asked with a laugh, shaking her head.

I shrugged, not really interested in the school's functions.

"C'mon, Edward. We'll be late," she told me, handing me my backpack.

When we were off the school property and on my street, I looked down at her. "You okay?"

"Yeah. You?" she asked, smirking up at me as I shrugged. "I woulda been okay. You taught me how to knee a boy in his balls."

Laughing, I shoved her a little with my shoulder. "So no dance?"

"Please," she scoffed, rolling her eyes. "We barely make it through a school day without you getting into it with someone, so why come here when we don't have to? I'd rather go to the movies."

"Yeah, me, too." We were quiet for another block, and I looked down at her. "What if she doesn't show again?" I asked, knowing she'd know what I was talking about.

She looked up at me, her nose wrinkling. "I don't know, but it'll be okay, either way."

"Ya think?"

"Yeah, I swear." She crossed her heart before we turned up my long driveway.

There was more than one car parked in front of my house when we walked up. I saw Carlisle's and Esme's cars, as well as two cars I didn't recognize. We walked into the front door, dropping our stuff by the stairs. The living room was filled with loud voices and my mother's curses.

"He's _my_ son. I'm not just going to just fucking give him away."

"You already have," Esme stated calmly.

"Enough," Carlisle said, looking our way. "Edward, Bella...how was school?"

My mother snorted derisively, but I answered his question. "Fine. Passed that math test."

Carlisle smiled, gripping my shoulder. "Good for you."

Bella stayed quiet, but her eyes narrowed on my mother. She still hated her.

"I see you still have your little girlfriend. The cop's kid," my mom said sarcastically, walking to me.

Instead of caving to the jibe she sent Bella's way, I asked, "Where've you been? You were suppose to be here the last three weeks."

"Oh, Edward, I've been busy," she said, taking my hand and pulling me to the couch. "Sit...I need to talk to you."

"About what?" I glanced around the room.

Esme and Bella were on the loveseat together, looking like they were keeping each other from jumping up. Carlisle looked livid – like really, really pissed – as he stared my mother's way. But there was another person in the room I hadn't seen at first. I recognized her as Carlisle's lawyer, someone that had come over before once or twice. Mrs. Goddard stayed silent in the corner chair.

I looked back to my mom, who looked older than she should've looked. "Mom?"

She smiled at me, but it didn't seem real. "Listen, Edward, I need to go away for a while."

"I don't wanna move," I told her, shaking my head. "I wanna stay here."

"Well, see...that's what I wanted to talk to you about," she said, sounding sickly sweet, the tone she used when she wanted me to do something for her. "You're not going. It's just... My mother passed away..."

Esme sighed deeply, squeezing Bella's hand.

"Wait...what? I had a grandmother?" I asked.

"You did, but she wouldn't see you." My mother's voice was abrupt and so final. "She didn't want me to keep you, you know?"

"Whatever," I grumbled. "So you're going there?"

"No, she was here, but she left me some money...enough to get out of this rut I'm in. We're going someplace new to start over – California. I can get on my feet and send for you, Edward," she explained, but my ears caught two things.

I stood up quickly, glaring down at her. "Wait a second. Who's _we_?"

"Well, Roger and I need a new start, sweetie..."

"Roger's a monster! He almost killed Edward!" Bella yelled, standing up, but Esme tugged her back down and shushed her.

I spun to look at Carlisle, whose face was as red as I'd ever seen it. Turning back to my mom, I lost my temper completely. "You can't still be with him? Tell me you're lying! Tell me the minute you didn't get that money that he didn't just come right back to you. Did he show up the day she died, or did he wait for the money?"

"Watch your mouth!" she snapped back, standing up in front of me, but I was now as tall as she was, which I wasn't sure she was aware. "I love him, Edward. He's getting better." She sounded just as weak and lifeless as the last time she'd told me that.

"And what about me?!" I yelled, balling up my fists.

A strong arm wrapped around my shoulders, and again, I looked around the room. Everyone was standing. Carlisle was holding me, Esme looked like she'd be sick, and Bella's eyes were tearing up. My eyes finally landed on Mrs. Goddard.

"Is she here with adoption papers?" I asked Esme, pointing to the lawyer.

"Yes, sweetie," she answered honestly, because we always told the truth in that house. It was the Cullens' biggest rule.

"Good." I glared at my mother, still pointing to Mrs. Goddard. "Sign them. If you're leaving with Roger, then sign them now. I'll never go where he is, and you can't make me. If you go with him, I don't want to be your son anymore."

The room went completely still. All I could hear was my own heart pounding in my ears.

Esme walked to me, pulling me from Carlisle's arms. She forced me to sit down, kneeling in front of me. "Edward, are you sure that's what you want?" she asked me, brushing my hair from my forehead.

"She doesn't care about me. She never has!" I sneered, watching as Carlisle spoke to my mom so softly that I couldn't hear him. I met Esme's gaze. "I want to stay here...with you and Carlisle."

The conversation across the room stopped, and my mother stared at me for a minute. She never said a word when she signed the papers, when Carlisle handed her an envelope, or when she walked out the front door. She just...left.

**~oOo~**

**Present Day**

"You were the best that day, Princess," I said with a small smile against her hand. "You stood up from the couch, grabbed my hand, and said, 'Good. Now we know you're staying. And we have an English paper due.' You never let me dwell on it. But it was the second best decision I ever made. We'll get to the best one later." I leaned over and kissed her cheek. "And Mike was a fucking idiot, Bella. He never did find out what size cup you had. But I did, didn't I?" Grinning at how the heart monitor sputtered a bit, I kissed her cheek again. "God, I love you. And I hope you're hearing all this shit."

I sat back down and adjusted her blankets, but I looked up when my dad drew the curtain back.

"Hey," I whispered, afraid of the file in his hand. "Tell me it's good news, Dad."

He smiled, dropping the file on the bed. "It is. The swelling has gone down significantly. Now that we know that, we're going to keep her under just to let her body heal. Okay?"

I nodded vehemently. "So she's better. Really?"

"Really. But give her time, son. In fact, you should go home...get some rest in your own bed, maybe a shower. Just one night..."

"M-Maybe," I hedged, looking to Bella, though the thought of sleeping in our bed without her made me anxious.

"Think about it, son," he sighed, but he was wearing a placating smile as he squeezed my shoulder.

I nodded and he left the room. I braced an arm by Bella's head, brushing her hair with my flattened hand. "You hear that, Princess? You're getting better, so keep that shit up. Okay? 'Cause I've got somethin' important to ask you, and I really want to hear your voice when you answer it, so come back to me, Bella."

**~ooo~HtL~ooo~**

**A/N... For those of you that guessed Edward was a school counselor...nice! :)**

**Again, I thank you for reading something so different from me. I'm causing a few of you to step out of your comfort zone, and that's not easy. I've also heard from a few that have had their own abuse experiences, and for you to read this despite that...it means a lot. **

**And for those of you that want something more along my usual action, adventure, mystery, romance... JenRar and I are currently writing _In Pursuit_ over on our shared profile, Sarge's Girls. You can find the link to it on mine. :) U.S. Marshalward is something else. ;) **

**I'll see you guys Thursday. That day actually worked out better for me, so we'll stick with it. :) Until then... Mooches, Deb. :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N... The votes are in... You all hate Elizabeth Masen. ;) Fair enough. I've always said Karma is a mean-spirited bitch. And I know most of you are anxious to see how Bella and Edward's relationship changed from BFFs to more. It's a toss-up with you...whether they fought it or slipped into it like a comfortable pair of pajamas. :) **

**I'm going to give this a tissue warning. One of my pre-readers said she had a rough time with this chapter. I can understand. I had a rough time with it myself. **

**Oh...and let's meet Felix... ;)**

**~ooo~HtL~ooo~**

**Chapter 5**

**Present Day**

The ache in my heart ripped wide open when I stepped through my front door. Our house wasn't much, but it was ours. We'd bought it when we both decided coming home to Forks after college was for the best. It was close to the school and close to Bella and Emmett's bakery, Sweet Treats.

Everything was exactly the same as when we'd left for work Friday morning, including Bella's laptop open on the dining room table where she'd been working on payroll and managing the bills for the shop. The blanket we'd snuggled under to watch TV was still crumpled up on the end of the couch, the remote control tossed on top. In the bedroom, the covers were a twisted mess because we'd been unable to stop ourselves when the alarm had gone off that morning, but that wasn't unusual. Once we'd opened that part of our relationship up, we became insatiable, and it had never slowed down.

"Now?!" Felix hollered from the bed.

"Hey, big guy. You hangin' in there?" I sighed, sitting down next to him, and he immediately waddled over.

The sight of the fluffy, chunky cat that Bella spoiled rotten made me smile. He was a white and dark-striped tabby and way too overweight for his own good, but the notch missing from the very tip of his left ear was the reason she spoiled him so badly. He'd been a stray, wandering up almost the day we closed on the house. He'd been here ever since.

"Mummph," he grumbled, head-butting my chin. "Now?"

"Okay, okay...now. But you get cat food," I told him as we walked into the kitchen. Well, he sort of waddled/rumbled. "Any other treats will have to wait, buddy."

"Mmm?" he asked, looking absolutely innocent as to what I was talking about. It was bullshit. He knew how to play Bella to get what he wanted.

I snorted, dropped a cup of food in his bowl, and went about to finish what I came to do. I wasn't staying. I couldn't bear the thought of sleeping alone in our bed. I'd never done it before and I didn't plan to do it any time soon. I'd sleep when I brought Bella back. Gathering up a few things, I tossed them into a small duffel bag. I flipped through the mail that Mom had brought in, but nothing was important that it couldn't wait a day or two. Finally, I stripped down to take a quick shower.

Once I was dressed and my bag was in the car, I gazed around the house. A part of me thought that I should straighten the place up, but I couldn't. This was just...us. We weren't neat freaks, we weren't slobs, but we were comfortable. But the thought of changing something while she wasn't here just about made my chest shatter with the pain of it. I needed her home – right there – where she belonged.

I made it back to the ICU in just under an hour and a half. I wouldn't have left at all, but my dad's news that she was healing had given me a touch of hope. Now, it was the waiting game.

Tanya was behind the nurse's desk when I walked by. Rose had gone home about the same time I'd left earlier. I shot a wave her way, and she smiled with a pen between her teeth.

Pulling back the curtain, I saw Bella had a visitor.

"Edward," Angela said softly, getting up from my chair and walking to me. She hugged me close and then stepped back to look up at me. "I'm sorry I'm so late."

"Don't sweat it, Ang," I told her, bending down to drop a kiss to Bella's cheek. "I'm back, Princess," I whispered. "Felix says hi." I stood back up to see Angela's watery gaze on me. "The prognosis is good," I told her, making sure she was looking at me. "Dad's pretty positive. He's keeping her under until some more of the swelling goes down."

"That's good." She nodded, pushing her glasses up her nose a bit, but she looked back at me. "Mrs. Cope told me to tell you to take all the time you need. She called me earlier."

Angela and I both worked at Forks High. I'd known her just as long as I'd known Bella, but we weren't as close. While I worked in the office, she was the algebra teacher for ninth and tenth grade.

"Tell her thank you and that I'll call her as soon as I know where I stand. I can't..." I frowned, shoving my hands into the front pockets of my jeans.

"No one's asking you to, Edward," Angela whispered, rubbing my upper arm. "I can't imagine..." Her voice trailed off. "For you two, this must be like losing a limb."

Grinning, I shrugged. It was true, but most people in this town had watched Bella and me grow up together, watched us go from the closest best friends to something more, something so much better. Some had tried to come between us, even I had messed up once or twice, but our bond was impenetrable. However, the woman in front of me had always been good to us, especially to Bella.

"I've got to get going. Ben will want an update," she said with a smile. "Give her my love, but I'll be back soon."

"I will," I told her, taking my usual chair and preparing for another long night. Once Angela had shut the curtain, I picked up Bella's hand, pressing kisses to the center of her palm. "She's always been a good friend to you," I said softly, frowning a little. "Even when I wasn't..."

**~oOo~**

**Age 15**

High school was pure hell. I hated every second of it. My name had changed to Cullen, which caused more rumors to spread, not that anyone except Bella knew much of anything. She knew. Not that she was talking much to me these days.

For the last two years, I'd been just...pissed. Angry at the world. My mother just...gave up. And while Carlisle and Esme were amazing and caring, I still felt abandoned by my own flesh and blood. Bella had tried to keep me calm, keep me grounded, but I'd pushed her away. I pushed everyone away. I pushed so hard that Carlisle made me see a therapist once a week, which made shit worse because I had to relive life with my mother over and over. My sleep was for shit and my grades were barely hanging in there.

Shoving earbuds into my ears, I made the walk home from school. Alone. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Bella walking with Angela. For a second, our eyes met, but it hurt to look at her. She'd changed so much physically in the last year that it was impossible not to notice. She'd filled out in all the right places and shot up a couple of inches, and she had more guys wanting her than I'd ever tell her. So many times, I'd been asked if I'd "hit that," but I ignored them. Every time some guy would ask, they'd try to flirt with her, and I watched them fail time and time again. Newton's balls had been introduced to her knee more than once.

With one more glance her way, I turned down my driveway. I couldn't lie. I missed her. I missed having someone to talk to, but apparently, I'd turned "confrontational," according to the therapist. He was an asshole. He was an asshole...because he was right. Bella got tired of me snapping at her for no reason other than I was feeling like shit. I'd hurt her feelings more than once, and finally, I'd figured it was best to just keep to myself.

Carlisle and Esme were both home when I walked into the door, but the looks on their faces stopped me from just running upstairs to hole up in my room.

Tugging out my earbuds, I stared at them. "What?"

"Sweet boy, we need to talk to you," Esme said, reaching for my hand, and I wanted to argue with her that I wasn't as sweet as she thought I was.

I let her lead me to the couch, where she sat beside me, but Carlisle dragged a chair over in front of me. He rested his elbows on his knees, gazing down at the floor for a moment.

When he met my eyes, he swallowed nervously. "Son, I'm afraid I have some bad news," he started softly, and Esme picked up my hand. "I'm afraid there's been an accident...with your mother."

My brow furrowed. "I thought you didn't know where she was."

"We didn't, sweetie, but we got a call today," Esme answered gently. "She passed away."

"What?" I asked, confused as all hell. "No... How?"

"According to the medical examiner, liver failure," Carlisle explained, but sat back when I snorted.

"So...she drank herself to death," I sneered, and even to me, my voice was filled with venom and bitterness. "Fitting." Neither of them said anything for a moment, so I stood up. "Well, thanks for letting me know," I muttered, but before I could take another step, Carlisle called me back.

"Edward, the services are being held here...in Forks, the day after tomorrow. Saturday. She'll be buried next to your grandmother," he said tentatively.

I stared at both of them, seeing that I was most likely going to be forced into a monkey suit and dragged to the cemetery to attend my mother's funeral. I went numb, completely and utterly numb.

"Fine," I sighed, leaving them standing there.

I stayed numb all that night and through school the next day. As I walked across the parking lot to head home that Friday, I heard my name.

"Edward, wait! Please!" Bella called, running to catch up to me. She was panting by the time I turned to face her. "Are you all right? I heard about—"

"Don't," I said firmly. "She did that shit to herself, Bella."

"I don't care about that. I'm worried about _you_."

"Don't be. She got what she wanted, right?" I asked, my nostrils flaring.

"Maybe she never knew what she wanted," Bella countered, frowning up at me. "You know, I'm still here for you. I still consider you my friend. You can be a jerk if you want, but I know you." She poked my chest. "I know you're hurting. I'll see you at the funeral tomorrow."

With that, she spun away from me and joined Angela on their usual walk home.

My sleep was fitful, to say the least. Dreams of fights and bruises and a dirty apartment crowded my dreams. I woke up the day of the funeral covered in sweat and feeling nauseous.

Every step I made that day was as if I was watching someone else. I barely noticed that Bella and Emmett were there with Renee and Charlie, I couldn't hear the services over the ringing in my ears, and I kept tugging on my tie because I felt I couldn't breathe. But it was when I saw him that everything came into sharp focus. Roger.

As they lowered my mother's casket into the ground, my eyes locked on him, zeroed in on the man that made my childhood a fucking nightmare. I didn't shake the hand of Mr. Weber, Angela's dad and the minister of the local church. Instead, I stood straight up and walked across the cemetery to confront the monster that had tormented me.

He wasn't as big as I remembered him being, never mind that I was pushing six feet tall already. I was gangly, as Esme put it, but my shoulders had broadened and my muscle tone was starting to fill out. So when I stepped toward him, his eyes widened.

My hands shoved his chest. Hard. "Why don't you hit me now, asshole?" I sneered at him, meeting him at eye level. "C'mon!" I snarled, balling my fists up. "You finally got what you wanted, didn't you? You got rid of me and she's dead. Did you bleed her dry of every penny? Or did the two of you party yourselves fucking stupid until it was all gone?"

"Look, kid," Roger started, but his eyes drifted behind me. He looked old and worn out, his hair graying at the temples and thin on top. The muscle that had at one time scared me, now was just flabby and fat.

Emmett came to stand on one side of me, and Bella on the other. The former was now seventeen and enormous. He'd played football most of his life at various schools around the country, but he'd just recently moved in with his grandmother to finish out high school at Forks High. He was tired of moving with his military father, especially when Germany was the next stop.

"I'm sorry about your mom, okay?" Roger said weakly. "We were real messed up for a long time."

"_Were_?" Bella scoffed, rolling her eyes and folding her arms across her chest. "You still look pretty messed up to me."

"Bella," Charlie chided from somewhere behind us in a half-assed tone.

"He don't look so tough now," Emmett stated, cracking all his knuckles.

"He's not," I sneered. "He's a coward. He only gets off on beatin' up little kids, right, Roger?"

"I tried to toughen you up, you little shit! I tried to make you a man!" he snapped, but a hand landed on my shoulder before I could step to him.

Looking up, I saw Charlie. "Hiya, Chief."

"This man botherin' you, buddy?" he asked, his mustache twitching into a wry smirk. I didn't need to answer, so Charlie faced Roger. "I think it would be in your best interest to make your stay here in Forks as short as possible." He sniffed, gripping my shoulder a little when I shifted on my feet. "In fact, I'd hate to have to run into you say...tomorrow. I might just be inclined to search your vehicle. Besides, I can't promise your safety should you wander down the wrong dark alley."

"Kids these days...you can't control 'em," Carlisle added sarcastically, coming to stand on the other side of Bella.

Everyone that had been aware of my situation was standing by my side, and they were the only ones that had attended the funeral. I felt Bella's hand slip into mine, and my world came into calm, easy focus.

"If I ever see you again, I'll kill you," I stated calmly, not giving a shit that Charlie was standing right behind me with his hand still on my shoulder. "Go back under whatever rock you crawled from. You two deserved each other."

With that said, I let go of Bella's hand and walked away, pulling my tie off as I left the cemetery. I was suddenly completely and totally exhausted. I barely remembered the short and silent drive home in the back seat of Carlisle's car. In fact, I didn't remember walking upstairs to my room or collapsing onto my bed.

I woke up shortly before midnight, the house totally quiet. Rubbing my face, I raked my hands through my hair. My room felt like it was closing in on me, so I changed out of my now sleep-rumpled dress clothes and into jeans and a hoodie. Tiptoeing down the stairs, I walked out the front door and into a misty, rainy night.

I didn't know where I was going, but I needed air, I needed to think. But somehow, I ended up where I always ended up: Bella's house. It was almost one o'clock in the morning when I stood at the bottom of the tree that led up to her room. Charlie would kill me for what I was about to do, but I wasn't exactly thinking clearly.

Scaling the tree, I tapped on her window, sliding my fingers under where it was cracked open and lifted it. It squealed softly on the way up.

"Jesus, Edward!" Bella gasped, scrambling out of her bed to help me through. "You're so stupid," she snapped, slamming the window back. "If you'd called me, I would've let you in the front door. No one's home. Dad's working overnight and Mom left after the funeral to go to Portland to see my aunt."

"Sorry." I sighed, falling down into the beanbag chair in the corner, my hands gripping my hair as I stared at her floor.

"You could've fallen and broken your neck," she chided, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Why are you here?"

I gazed up at her, seeing how hurt she was, but for the first time, I really, _truly_ looked at her. She was gorgeous. When had that happened? She was sitting there in pink pajamas, her dark hair falling down around her shoulders. Her eyes were dark and warm, her cheeks flushed, and she was biting down on her bottom lip.

"I don't know," I whined, finally answering her question and holding my head in my hands again. "I just started walking." She didn't say anything, but I needed to know one thing. "Why did my mom hate me, Bella?" I asked, finally looking up at her and feeling everything inside me crack wide open.

"Oh, Edward," she sighed, rushing to me and falling on her knees between my legs. She wrapped her arms around me, and my tears started and didn't stop. "I don't think she hated you. I think she was sick for a very long time," she said softly in my ear as I cried on her shoulder.

I shook my head and pushed back. "No, she... She told me. She said that I was hard to love because I looked like my dad. She told me she could barely look at me. Why?! What's wrong with me?"

Bella frowned, grabbing both sides of my face. "There's _nothing_ wrong with you! And you're so easy to love, Edward. Look at how many stood by your side today. We all love you," she stated, tears coursing down her face.

Swallowing thickly and sniffling, I shook my head. "She was always so selfish!" I ranted, pulling her closer. "She... She let that asshole beat her daily, fill her so full of drugs that when he beat me, she didn't care. She...left me, Bella! She chose him over me. Did you know... Did you know that Carlisle paid her to sign her rights over? She sold me like she was pawning jewelery!"

"No..." Bella sighed, wiping my tears away with her thumbs. "I see it as Carlisle insuring your safety. He paid her to keep you close and safe and happy. With her, you would've only known heartache. Here...you're okay...you're surrounded by people that care." She brushed my hair from my forehead. "Edward, she didn't leave you. She followed the drugs. She was an addict. That wasn't your fault. Nothing that happened to you was your fault."

I wasn't sure how long I cried, but somehow, we both ended up lying together in that beanbag. Bella's pajama top was soaked at the shoulder when I finally took a deep breath. Finally, we sat up face to face.

"I'm sorry," I murmured, poking at the wet spot on her shirt.

"Don't sweat it," she whispered, shrugging that same shoulder.

"No...I'm really sorry. I've been such a jerk, Princess," I whispered, finally meeting her gaze. "I should've..."

"I said...don't sweat it," she said with a chuckle. "I knew you were going through some tough things."

I simply stared at her, and for the first time ever, I wanted to kiss her. Really, truly kiss her. My eyes landed on her lips and I shifted nervously. But we both jumped when her cell phone rang.

Falling on my back, I yawned widely and closed my eyes. I'd barely heard Bella say, "Yeah...he's here," before I drifted off to sleep.

**~oOo~**

**Present Day**

"I was ruined." I chuckled, looking over at her impassive sleeping face. "I knew right then that you were the only girl I wanted." I sat forward, laying my head on her thigh. "Charlie was funny the next morning. I thought he'd kill me for sleeping in your room, but he simply said, 'Kid, next time, sleep in the guest room, okay?'"

I sighed, toying with her blanket. "You never told anyone about that night. Not even my parents. You just said I showed up and crashed. That was it. I don't know if I ever thanked you, Princess. I should have. I didn't deserve such quick forgiveness for being a jerk to you, but you gave it anyway."

A tear escaped her eye, and I sat up, wiping it away gently. "Did you know I wanted to kiss you? I did. So damn badly. I hid it, though. I'd been such a pain in the ass that I was just happy to have you back as a friend. After my mom died, things got a little easier. I felt...I don't know...free." I shrugged a shoulder, glancing up when Tanya appeared at the curtain.

She didn't say much as she puttered around the room. She noted Bella's chart, changed an IV, and adjusted the bed so that Bella was sitting up a little more. Then she smiled, handing me a new, clean blanket before leaving the room again.

I laid my head back on Bella's thigh, thinking we sometimes watched TV on the couch this way, with my head in her lap. Though, I was missing the feel of her fingers playing with my hair.

"Come back to me, baby," I sighed softly, rubbing a thumb across her bottom lip as best I could around the tubes. "I still want to kiss you."

**~ooo~HtL~ooo~**

**A/N... See? Karma. And that's the end of Roger. ;) I told you the abuse was over, but not that he wouldn't pop back up.**

**Again, I have to thank everyone that has reviewed and rec'd this story. Thank you so much! :) It means a great deal. I'll see you guys Monday. :) Until then... Mooches, Deb. :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N... You guys make me smile after a really long week. Okay, a long 4 days. ;) **

**I think this is the chapter you're all so curious about. And I don't think there's a huge tissue warning. At least, no one that pre-read it thought so. **

**I wanted to answer one quick thing. A few of you noted that Edward pulled into himself for a bit, but that Bella was wise with words and patience. I know I'm not writing her POV, but I can imagine that living in the house with this particular Renee and Charlie was helpful to her. I'm willing to bet that she heard a lot more about Edward's issues than she let on. :)**

**Okay... have at it.**

**~ooo~HtL~ooo~**

**Chapter 6**

**Present Day**

Sunday started rough. I was woken up by Rose to get out of the room for a bit. They needed to run more tests. I went in search of a decent cup of coffee, which was across the street from the hospital, and to check my messages. The air was chilly when I stepped outside, so it didn't surprise me when Alice's message to me was that they'd gotten as far as Chicago before the weather snowed them in. Winter had come hard and fast this year for some places. Her message was that she and Jasper would head this way as soon as they were able.

I sipped my coffee, making my way slowly back to the room, figuring I'd hang out in the waiting room if they weren't done with Bella yet. I didn't care. So far, with every test they'd run, she'd shown improvement. I was willing to wait.

My eyes narrowed at the crowd down by her room, my father standing in front of them. Renee, Charlie, and two people I hadn't seen in some time were listening to Dad speak. I came to stand beside Renee, who hugged my waist.

"Edward," she greeted. "You remember—"

"Mr. Black and...Jacob," I stated smoothly, nodding once their way.

I shouldn't have hated the guy, but I did. And it didn't matter that it had been almost ten years since he'd tried to come between Bella and me. We'd even seen him a couple of times since we'd moved back to Forks, but it was always a quick hello.

"Edward," he greeted back, wearing the smile I always wished I could smack right off his face. "I'm sorry about Bella. We just heard. I hope you'll tell her we stopped by."

"Oh, I will," I responded with a smile before taking a sip of coffee, and I could've sworn Charlie snorted softly beside me.

"Son," my dad said, fighting his smirk, because he knew all about it. "I just wanted you to know that I should have these test results within a few hours, but I've got rounds before I come back up here."

"Do what you do, Dad," I murmured, peeking into the room just to see Bella. She looked fresher, with a new blanket on top and her hair brushed again.

My dad started to explain to the Blacks and Bella's parents all that she'd been through and her updated progress, so I stepped through the curtain, shrugging off my jacket. She needed to know I was back.

"Hey, Princess," I sighed against her forehead. "You're lookin' better. They kicked me out, but I'm back, baby."

When I stood back up straight and turned around, Renee was right there, wearing a smirk. "You should really let that go," she whispered, jerking a thumb behind her.

"Nah, I'm good," I whispered back with a grin. "I got the girl."

"Oh, poo, Edward," she scoffed, rolling her eyes. "You _always_ had the girl. Bella loved you from the moment she dragged you home from the schoolyard on her seventh birthday."

Chuckling, I looked back to Bella. "Maybe..."

She tsked at me, ruffled my hair, and gave a kiss to Bella's cheek. When she looked back to me, she shook her head and smiled. "There was a reason I called the two of you Thunder and Lightning. There was a storm brewing, but it wasn't the pounding of sneakers through my house, or your squeals of laughter, or even the sound of the two of you arguing for the fun of it. It was that quiet moment before all the elements combined to create that perfect blend of water, thunder, and flashes of lightning. You know it's coming, and you can almost feel it on your skin, hear it zinging in the air. It almost sounds like a heartbeat. It was like that watching the two of you – just _waiting_ for that one moment when you realized you were absolutely made for each other."

Nodding, I pressed my lips to Bella's hand. I'd never heard Renee talk about us that way.

"Maybe you should thank Jacob for giving you that last...push. Hmm?" she suggested before leaving the room. When the curtain fluttered, I could see that the corridor was clear again.

Looking back to Bella, I sighed, reaching up to play with a lock of her hair. "Things definitely changed when Jacob came into the picture, didn't they, Bella?" I asked her, smiling when her heart monitor fluttered a little. "But I wasn't the only one that felt...pushed..."

**~oOo~**

**Age 16**

I sat in the car, listening to the radio and waiting for Bella to come out of the school. It was Friday and I was ready to get the hell out of there. We'd been riding to school together ever since I'd gotten my car. I was damn proud of it. It may have been Esme's Volvo at some point, but it was mine now. It was a birthday present, but it was also a test. I'd brought up my grades, stuck with therapy, and even started running for the track team. If any of those things wavered – failing grades, fighting, missed appointments – they'd take the car away.

Carlisle and Esme really didn't need the threat. It was Bella that kept me in line. Without her, I would never have caught up with my school work. Though, Emmett had helped. He was a senior this year, and he'd taught me that working out could relieve all sorts of pent-up anger. By the time he put me through his routine, I was too damn tired to be pissed.

Through the windshield, I saw Bella talking to Lauren and Jessica. I shook my head. That was never a good thing. They gave new meaning to the words "mean girls." They were passive aggressive, snarky, and so very...bitchy. There wasn't any other way to put it.

By the time she fell into the passenger side seat, her face was set in stone.

"What was that about?" I asked, starting up the car.

"Don't ask," she muttered, looking out the window.

"I did ask. And we're not leaving till you tell me. What did Liquid Lauren want?" I asked, smiling when Bella snorted into a laugh at the name we'd had for the girl since the third grade because of her bladder problems.

She smiled my way, but rolled her eyes. "Are we going to her party tonight?"

"I thought we were. Emmett's going," I told her, shrugging a shoulder. "Why?"

She sighed, shaking her head. "Because she wants to make sure you're there."

I stared blankly at her for a second. "Why?"

She laughed. "Really? You don't know, Edward?" When I simply shook my head, she went on. "She...likes you. She _like_-likes you. Both she and Jessica want a piece of you, though Jess is willing to back down to the Alpha Bitch."

"What does that even mean?" I sighed, rolling my eyes and finally backing out of the parking space.

"It means Lauren wants you at the party so she can get you alone," Bella explained, looking back out the window.

"Oh." I frowned, glancing over at Bella. I couldn't quite make out the expression she was wearing since she was facing the window, but I didn't want anything to do with Lauren. She was as fake as the nails she sported on the tips of her fingers. And I never really could get it out of my head that she peed the bed at not one, but two sleepovers – one in the third grade, the other in the fourth.

When I pulled into Bella's driveway, my eyes locked onto a guy sitting on her front steps. "Who's he?"

"Jacob Black. He's the son of a friend of my dad's. He's from the reservation down in La Push," she groaned. "I'm supposed to help him with ninth-grade math. My dad volunteered me. There aren't a lot of tutors for the rez school, so I've been helping him for a coupla weeks now."

"Ninth grade? Is he popping steroids or somethin'?" I asked, because the kid was huge. "'Cause that might explain his learning problem..."

"No." She laughed. "All the kids are like that down there. Maybe it's the water. And you're one to talk, Edward." she said, poking my bicep. "What did you grow...like three inches this past summer?"

"Two," I grumbled, still frowning at the kid on her front steps.

"Yeah, well...you're certainly getting the attention at school," she teased, but I merely shrugged.

I didn't care about the attention at school. I'd heard it, put up with the flirting from girls that had never talked to me before, but it was the girl next to me that held my attention. After my mom died, Bella and I had gotten close again, but I couldn't shake how she was making me feel. I still wanted to kiss her. I'd thought it would be a passing thing, but it had only gotten worse. The problem was...I wasn't sure Bella felt that way, and I was afraid to fuck up what we had.

"Hey," I said, waiting until she turned my way. "We don't have to go tonight. We can do something else. Movie in Port Angeles?" I offered, hoping I'd get to keep her to myself.

"We promised Emmett we were going," she sighed and pointed to Jacob. "And I told Jacob he could go. He wanted to meet some people off the rez."

I grimaced. "Fine. I'll be back by to get you."

"Okay, call me when you're on your way," she sang, getting out of the car.

I gripped the steering wheel when the Jacob guy hugged her. This was going to be a long damn night. When I got home, I grabbed a quick snack, powered through my homework so I wouldn't have to deal with it the rest of the weekend, and finally showered and dressed to go pick up Bella.

Esme was downstairs in the kitchen when I started to leave.

"Hey, I'm heading out," I told her, smiling when she came to kiss my cheek and run her fingers through my hair. "It won't work. It sticks up everywhere."

She laughed softly. "I can try, sweet boy," she sighed, cupping my face. "You have fun. Be careful. You're taking Bella?" she asked, and I nodded in answer. "Good, but always make sure you bring home whoever you take with you. And if there's alcohol..."

"I don't drink," I stated, almost harshly, but the thought of becoming like my mother was my biggest fear.

She paused, kissing my cheek again, and said, "Fair enough, son. Then, have a good time and call us if you're going to be past your curfew."

I laughed, shaking my head. "Honestly? I can't imagine staying there until one. If anything, we'll go back to Bella's or come here."

"Okay." She smiled and let me go. She and Renee had always told us that either house was fine, just to let them know.

I wanted to groan aloud at the sight of Bella rushing out to the car once I'd pulled in. I wasn't sure her jeans could get any tighter...or lower, and the tight sweater wasn't helping anything. Neither was the small sliver of skin showing just above the jeans.

"Hey," she sighed, putting on her seat belt.

"Hey. Where's your...friend?" I asked, trying to keep the tone of my voice neutral.

She snorted. "He's coming with some guys from the rez."

"Good," I muttered, pulling out and turning onto the street.

As small as Forks was, it wasn't long before I was trying to find a parking place on Lauren's street. Her parents weren't home, but her older brother from college was. Apparently, he'd brought friends with him.

I swallowed nervously, turning off the car.

"What's wrong?" Bella asked, turning in her seat.

I shrugged. "Nothin', I guess. I'm just...not a party person."

She grinned, brushing my hair from my forehead. "You missed out last year. These are usually pretty fun."

"Yeah, I know," I grumbled, frowning at my hands. "I heard you kissed Tyler."

"What?" she gasped. "No, I didn't. Who told you that? Tyler?"

"Yeah."

"He's a lying jerk," she sneered, shaking her head. "You coulda asked me first, instead of believing what you heard. I don't believe everything I hear about you, you know..."

Snorting, I rolled my eyes. "There's nothing to hear."

"You'd be surprised what the girls say about you, Edward Cullen," she argued, raising an eyebrow at me. "If they weren't so stupid, they'd be careful _when_ they said the things that they did with you. Most of the lies usually happen when I was with you." She laughed, shoving my shoulder.

I laughed. "Yeah?"

"Yeah, they're so dumb. They forget you're my best friend," she sighed, grabbing the door handle. "Come on. You ready?"

"Not in the least little bit," I groaned to myself as I got out of the car.

The house was insane when we walked in. Lauren's dad did very well as a lawyer, so their house was enormous. There were people everywhere. Most of them I recognized from school, both older and younger than us. However, the college kids seemed to be the loudest and already drunk. The living room, kitchen, and back pool deck were completely swamped with people.

Angela rushed up to Bella as soon as we were in the door. "I've _got _to talk to you. Ben's here." She sounded absolutely panicked, which didn't make sense. She liked Ben.

Bella smiled, nodding. "Okay." She looked up at me. "Find Emmett, and I'll find you in a few. Okay?"

I nodded, watching them fly upstairs, but I made my way through the kitchen and out onto the deck. Emmett was surrounded by most of the football team, though a few were on the track team with me. Music was blaring, some people were dancing, and others seemed to be finding dark corners to make out in. I hung out with Emmett and the guys for a few, but I glanced up from the water of the pool to see Jacob and a bunch of guys I didn't know step out onto the deck. And with him was Bella.

"There you are!" Lauren squealed, plopping down next to me. "I was wondering if you'd show up."

"Why?" I snorted, taking a sip of the soda in my hand.

"You've never come to any of my parties before," she reasoned, shrugging a shoulder, which happened to be so close that she rubbed against mine.

Lauren didn't deserve to know why I'd never come prior to now. As far as the people at school went, I was just a troublemaker that had slowed down. They knew nothing of my mother, my therapy, or the things that Roger did. So I simply shrugged.

"You know..." she cooed, running one of those fake-ass nails down my arm. "It's quieter in my room."

I smirked, looking over at her. "I'm sure it is."

"Wanna go upstairs?" she asked, taking my hand, but I pulled it back.

"No," I stated, shaking my head at her.

"Fine, whatever," she huffed, getting up and slinging her blonde hair back. "Your loss."

I snorted, muttering, "I'm sure," to myself, my eyes seeking out Bella. She was now dancing with Jacob, smiling up at him, and I frowned.

"She doesn't like him, you know," I heard beside me, and Angela took Lauren's place. She stared at me for a second. "Why are boys so dumb?" she asked incredulously, rolling her eyes behind her glasses.

"We're not all dumb," I argued with a laugh.

"You're dumb. Trust me," she sighed. "You're all oblivious, I swear. Ben's too engrossed in a video game to even notice a thing." She shook her head, her eyes raking over the back deck. "Why'd you turn Lauren down?" she asked me, meeting my gaze. "She's easy...pickings. You could've—"

I held my hand up. "I'm aware of that, Ang. And I don't like her like that."

"So who _do_ you like like that?" she asked, and immediately my gaze went to Bella, who was trying to get away from Jacob. She was laughing, but he was trying to coax her into another dance.

"That's what I thought..." She nudged my shoulder. "You know, you should just tell her."

"We're just friends."

"Look, I know you've had some...problems," she stated, holding up her hands when I spun my gaze to hers. "I haven't told anyone, Edward. And Bella didn't say anything, but my dad...he knows, ya know?" When I nodded, she went on. "Bella _really_ missed you when you two weren't talking." I gazed down at the can of soda in my hand, but she nudged me again. "More than I think you know."

We both looked up when yelling broke out across the deck. My brows furrowed when I saw that Jacob was doubled over, holding his balls.

"I said no!" Bella snapped, and I was up off the chair and across the deck, smacking Emmett on my way by, because the boys from the rez were now circling around Bella and Jacob.

His shirt was in my fist and his back pressed into the side of the house before he could register what had happened. I didn't give a fuck how big he was.

"What'd you do?" I sneered.

"Nothing!" he squeaked, shaking his head.

"She doesn't junk-punch someone over nothing. What'd you do?!" I snarled, slamming him into the concrete wall again.

"Bells, you okay?" I heard Emmett ask her through my angry haze.

"Yeah, but he tried to kiss me. I told him no, but he kept comin'," she told him.

My eyes locked onto Jacob. "When she tells you no, you fucking listen," I told him, feeling hands on me pulling me back. With one last shove, I let him go.

"Well, then, she needs to quit teasing," he muttered under his breath.

I rushed at him again, but Emmett's big hand stopped me.

"Yo, dude? I'd shut up, man. Seriously," he advised Jacob. "And if you fuck with my cousin again, it'll be two big bastards after you. Got it?" He gazed around at a few of the other boys from the rez. "And I won't care how many of you there are." He laughed humorlessly, shrugging a huge shoulder. "So back the hell off!"

Jacob nodded, and I shrugged Emmett's hands off, turning around to face Bella. She looked nervous, her eyes wide and her teeth latched onto her bottom lip.

"You okay?" I rasped, still not quite sure my temper was under control.

She swallowed and nodded. "Yeah."

I nodded once, walking past her and into the house. I needed calm the hell down before I ruined someone. I went straight through the house and out the front door, bracing my hands on the trunk of my car.

I heard footsteps coming up behind me, but I relaxed when I turned to look at Bella.

"Why'd you do that?" she asked, her face flushed a bright pink.

Shaking my head, I waved the question away.

"No, tell me, Edward."

"I can't have someone hurt you. I just can't," I said softly, shrugging a shoulder. "I shouldn't have come."

Bella was quiet for a second, but then said, "Okay. Let's go. We'll go back to my house. No one's home."

Nodding, I unlocked the car and let her in. I stayed silent the whole way back, even when she let me inside.

"You want something to drink?" she asked, and I nodded and leaned against the kitchen counter as she grabbed two glasses. She filled them with ice and water and handed me one, leaning next to me. "What happened with Liquid Lauren? I saw you talking to her."

I snorted, shaking my head. "She tried to get me into her room."

"And you turned her down," she surmised.

"Yeah." I gulped my water down, the ice clinking when I set the glass down.

Bella pushed herself up onto the counter, her feet kicking the cabinets. "Why?"

I sighed, turning to face her. "I don't like her like that. Hell, I barely can stand to be around the girl."

Bella giggled, but it sobered quickly. "I didn't mean to tease Jacob. He was mad 'cause I kept watching you with Lauren. I wasn't sure what you'd do... She's kinda got a reputation."

I shrugged, but nodded. I was aware of Lauren's reputation. The gym locker room was always filled with stories. We were quiet for a moment, Bella taking a sip of her drink.

"Edward?"

"Hmm?" I hummed, meeting her gaze.

"What did you mean? About you can't have someone hurt me? Jacob wouldn't hurt me. He just..."

"He just tried to kiss you without your permission," I sneered, my hands curling into fists. "I can't allow something or someone to hurt you." I shrugged a shoulder. "It's simple. And I should go back and put my fist through his face for not listening to you."

"Allow?" she scoffed, rolling her eyes.

"Yes, Bella..._allow_! I won't just stand by like my mother did. I can't do it. I won't be that person, not when it comes to you!" I yelled, throwing my hands up.

"Hey," she said softly, cupping both sides of my face. "It's okay, it's okay."

I shook my head and frowned, looking down at my hands. "Sorry."

"Don't be. And it wasn't like that. I'm okay, Edward," she soothed, brushing my hair from my forehead.

"I didn't want him to kiss you," I mumbled, frowning that I was too close to her and she smelled too good.

"I didn't want you to go upstairs with Liquid Lauren."

That statement made my gaze lock onto hers. "No?" I whispered.

She shook her head. "No. I didn't like her touching you. What's that mean, Edward? When did it change?"

I shook my head, too. "I don't know. It just did, and I don't know if I can help it."

"Me, either," she whispered, and I suddenly realized we were face to face and I was standing between her legs.

"Princess?"

"Hmm?" she hummed, licking her lips, which nearly caused my knees to buckle.

"If _I_ kissed you, would you knee me in the balls?" I thought she'd laugh or push me away, but she simply shook her head no, her eyes so dark as they landed on my mouth.

I didn't know what I was doing, but the second my lips met hers, something snapped inside me. It felt like an electrical charge or something going through my chest. I left my lips against hers for a second, only to pull back. Her forehead pressed to mine and her hands latched around my neck as we did it again. Each time, we stayed pressed together longer and longer, switching from top lips to bottom lips. She tasted like Cherry Coke or something fruity, but when her tongue met mine tentatively, I moaned. I couldn't help it. Everything in me surged forward, pressing myself against her, and she captured me with her legs.

We turned our heads at the same time, and I wound my arms around her. It was almost as if our bodies were like magnets, like they knew what to do. Tongues, warm and wet, tangled together, and my dick grew hard, which caused me to grind into her. But the sound of a car door made us both gasp and break apart.

I looked out the window to see Renee walking up, but I turned back to Bella, rushing to kiss her one more time.

"Please tell me this means what I think it means," I begged against her lips quickly, and she nodded, humming against my mouth. "But I don't want to lose...us, Bella. I hated it when we weren't friends."

Bella nodded, licking her lips, but she smiled. "Lauren better stay away."

"Jacob better never touch you again," I countered with a grin, but stepped back when I heard the front door open. "Just you, I swear." I crossed my heart, and she did the same. "See you tomorrow?" I panted, licking my lips.

She giggled. "Yeah, call me."

**~oOo~**

**Present Day**

"You know what the best part was, Princess?" I sighed, looking up at her beautiful face and twirling her hair around my finger. "It was that nothing changed...it only got better. And we got really good at kissing. Though, the first time we kissed in the school parking lot caused just about the entire student body to explode in shock." I laughed softly to myself. "That was the very best decision I ever made...kissing you, I mean," I admitted, trailing my fingers across her cheek. "Going from best friends to boyfriend and girlfriend was top of the list. However, there's another decision we need to make that may top them all, Bella."

Reaching over to my jacket, I pulled out the little black velvet box I'd had since before we'd moved back to Forks. Cracking it open, I stared down at the ring. It was simple and beautiful, pretty much my definition of Bella. It had been easy to pick out for her. Closing it back, I shoved it away again back into my jacket.

My forehead fell to her thigh and I squeezed back tears. "I've wanted to marry you since we were sixteen years old, baby. And all I want is to ask you, so you need to come back to me. Please. 'Cause I don't know if I can live without you."

**~ooo~HtL~ooo~**

**A/N... Ah, the real definition of Thunder and Lightning. ;) And that should answer the question as to whether they fought their feelings or slipped right into them. Easy as breathing... ;)**

**Again, I want to thank you guys for the love this fic is being shown. Thank you! It means a whole, whole lot. I'll see you guys Thursday. Until then... Mooches, Deb. :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N... Okay, so I see I need to just blanket this entire fic with a tissue warning...happy tears, sad tears, all of the above tears. I get it. LOL Sorry about that. And for those of you that are on FB with me, you should know that there have been 2 chapters in this fic that made ME cry. The one where Charlie picked a beaten 11 yr old Edward up on the side of the road...and THIS one. :/ I actually had to go outside of my work for a moment.**

**To answer a question... There seems to be a worry about why it's taken 10 years for Edward to propose. Well, they were kids. They're just now 25. To me, that seems the perfect age. And there were steps along the way that needed to be taken.**

**Okay, let's continue... Remember, Bella's accident was on a Friday night.**

**~ooo~HtL~ooo~**

**Chapter 7**

**Present Day**

I pulled into the diner on Sunday night, my brow wrinkling at the sight in the window. It was my parents and Bella's, sitting together. Just before Rose had finished her shift, she'd told me that my dad had called, that I was to meet him somewhere outside the hospital. In other words, he was forcing me to take a break, so the diner was the closest place to meet.

Walking inside, I was greeted by the waitress, but I took my seat between Charlie and Esme. I kissed Mom's cheek, then turned to Charlie.

"Hiya, Chief," I sighed wearily.

"Damn, buddy... Have you even slept?" he asked, gripping my shoulder.

"I'll sleep when she's home," I mumbled, looking to Carlisle. "What'd you find out?"

"Eat something, son," Dad said with a commanding tone. "Then we'll talk."

I raised an eyebrow at Renee. "Intervention?"

"No, sweet boy," she said with a soft laugh. "We're just worried about you, too."

Nodding, I gave in. There wasn't much I could do about it when those four people were working against me. I ordered a burger and fries, while they drank coffee, and when I'd eaten a little over half of it, my dad started to talk.

"Once again, the test results showed that the swelling has gone down some more. Not as much as I'd like, but I'll take what I can get," he began, sitting forward and resting his elbows on the table. "As of tomorrow morning, we'll be weaning her off sedation."

My gaze met his, and while I wanted to jump up in the air and cheer, the expression on his face stopped me. "Should we be worried?" I asked, taking a long draw on my soda.

"That's why I wanted to talk with everyone here," Carlisle sighed, glancing around the table.

My mom's hand reached for mine and held it tightly as we all waited for him to go on.

"There are things that tests can't tell us, things that only Bella can, and I want you prepared just in case something's...changed," he explained gently. "With as hard as she hit her head, there is a chance there could be memory loss, brain damage, even neurological damage. We won't know any of that until she comes around, and that could take a day or two. I just want to prepare you for what may come."

"What do you think?" I asked him.

Carlisle studied my face, but his answer was for everyone. "From what I've seen on her X-rays and the MRIs, she looks good, Edward. Best case scenario is that she'll wake up with a bad headache."

Nodding, I sipped my soda as Renee and Charlie asked their own questions. It all started to blur together, making my head spin and my breathing increase. The sound of glass shattering only made it worse.

"I didn't mean to break it!" I panicked.

"C'mon, Edward," I heard Esme's voice in my ear.

It wasn't until the cold air from outside hit my face that I could finally take a deep breath. Several pairs of hands guided me down onto a bench, but two sets of arms encircled me.

"Edward, breathe, sweet boy," Mom whispered in my ear. "You're okay."

"It's not okay. It's not okay!" I panted, gripping my hair. "What if... What if she doesn't remember anything? What if she...doesn't remember _me_?! Or...or...or what if..."

"Edward, you can't do that," Renee soothed. "You'll go insane with the what ifs."

"She's always been the strong one," I sobbed. "What if I'm too fucked-up to deal with it?! Look at me!"

"Oh, baby, stop," Renee pleaded, tears filling her eyes.

"You are _not_ fucked up. You never have been, kiddo," Charlie said from somewhere behind me.

"What you are is exhausted and stressed out," Carlisle stated, kneeling in front of me. "It's a miracle you haven't broken down prior to this."

"I can't deal if...if...if something happens to her..." I wheezed.

Esme's lips met my ear. "Do you love her, Edward?"

"You know I do," I answered almost roughly.

"Would you do anything for her?" she asked, and I nodded. "Then you lean on that, sweetheart. You lean on your love for her to get you through whatever's thrown your way."

"Son," Carlisle sighed, patting my shoulder. "I'd really like you to get some rest." He held up his hand when I started to argue. "I can understand that you don't want to go home. At least come home with us...let me give you something so you can sleep. You can stay in your old room, and I'll bring you back to the hospital with me in the morning. Otherwise, Edward...you'll crack. You haven't had a panic attack since you were in your teens."

I nodded, swallowing thickly as my heart rate finally began calming down. I looked to Mom. "She shouldn't be left alone."

"She won't be," Renee stated, and I spun to my left to look at her. "I'm going to stay with our girl, okay?"

"Buddy, gimme your keys," Charlie requested, holding out his hand. "I'll leave your car at the hospital for you."

Again, I couldn't have fought these four people if I'd tried, so I finally nodded in acquiescence and handed over my keys, asking them to check on Felix, which Charlie said he would.

However, once I was in Carlisle's car, I said, "Don't give me anything. I don't want it, nor do I need it."

Dad sighed, but nodded. "Fair enough, Edward."

The next morning, I felt a thousand times better. I'd pretty much crashed the second my body fell into my old bed. And without nurses barging in every hour and the noises of the hospital, I'd slept the entire night through. By the time my dad pulled into the hospital, I wanted to run to Bella's room.

I waved to Rose on my way by the nurse's station, diving behind the curtain to find Renee holding my place.

"You look much better," she noted with a smile, leaning into my kiss to her cheek. "I told Bella you needed the rest."

Grinning, I bent to Bella's cheek. "The parents all ganged up on me, Princess. It wasn't a fair fight at all." I closed my eyes and nuzzled her temple when the heart monitor bleeped a little. "I missed your face," I whispered, "but I'm back now, baby." I stood up straight, turning to Renee. "Thanks...for last night."

She waved it away. "Believe me, I understand," she sighed, smiling sadly. "I'll be back later, sweet boy, but call me if anything changes."

Once she was gone, I pulled the chair closer and picked up Bella's hand. "I kinda freaked out a little, Bella," I admitted softly against her fingers. "See...they're going to take you off the medicine that's keeping you asleep, but there could be things wrong that we'll only find out once you're awake. I got a little scared, baby. I want you to be okay. But I promise you..._I swear_...that I'm here no matter what." I crossed my heart and kissed her fingers again. "I love you, Princess," I stated simply, shrugging a shoulder. "Did you know that you were the first person I ever uttered those words to? They were so easy to say to you because I honestly think you were the first person to show me what they meant. You'd been showing me our whole lives, so by the time I'd completely handed you my heart, I never doubted a thing."

**~oOo~**

**Age 17**

The glow from the fire at First Beach was bright and orange, casting strange flickers over everyone around us. The November wind was chilly, but the fire was giving off enough heat. There were residents from La Push, some of the kids from school, and Jacob and his friends, of course.

My eyes narrowed on the asshole in question. He was making out with some new girlfriend. It was about time he moved on. After the party at Lauren's house, he'd tried numerous times to flirt with Bella, using her tutoring sessions as his way in, and it didn't matter how many times she told him we were together. Finally, she slapped the piss out of him and threatened him with Charlie's gun, all while barely holding me back from beating him senseless. He somehow passed ninth-grade math without her.

I still hated him, not trusting him any farther than I could throw him, which was something I'd like to try, but at least he left us alone.

Bella scooted closer, her face lifting from my shoulder and blocking everything else out. "Quit staring at him like you can set him on fire," she stated, grinning when I plastered an innocent expression on my face. "And I'm not buying that, either."

"I don't want to set him on fire, but...if a spark happens to land on him..."

She laughed, her head falling back. I couldn't help but lean in and kiss her exposed neck. She always smelled and tasted and felt so good. Her laughter vibrated against my lips, only to settled down into a soft hum of approval when I trailed kisses up to her ear. Even better was the feel of her fingers in my hair that held me right where she wanted me.

We'd been together ever since that party, which was about a year, and kissing had pretty much led to just about everything else under the sun – everything except the one big thing. What we were waiting for, I had no clue, but I certainly wasn't complaining.

"Edward?"

"Hmm?" I hummed against her throat.

"Can we go?" she asked, her voice all breathy. I loved making her sound that way.

I pulled back, looking up at her. "Where?"

She shrugged a shoulder, but looked all pouty. There were new rules for us from our parents now that we were more than best friends. Sleepovers were out, unless parents were home – and then we were in separate rooms and doors were locked. Grades still had to be maintained, kissing was not for in front of the parents – not that we wanted to – and we'd both been sat down to a long talk about sex and protection and Bella going on birth control. We'd been mortified, but we'd survived it.

Even in the daytime, there were rules. Studying had to be done with doors open and all clothes had to remain on. Shoes were the only thing we could remove. Despite all that, we'd found ways to get around them. My car had seen just about everything, and I could climb the tree outside Bella's bedroom like a monkey.

"Your house," she whispered, pressing her forehead to mine as her hands were flat on the sides of my face.

"We'd be breaking a big, big rule," I reminded her. "My parents are in Seattle for the night. Some medical thing..."

Her grin was wicked and naughty. "I know. And I'm not due home until one."

Nodding, I helped her stand, and we grabbed the blanket I kept in my trunk – another item that had seen just about everything. We made it back to my house in no time.

Once in my room, I put the stereo to something low, turning to see Bella walking around my room.

"I love your room," she said, glancing over her shoulder to smile at me. "You have cool stuff...and all the best pictures."

I nodded, but then shrugged. I wasn't sure how to explain my need for pictures. I hadn't had any growing up, and I didn't even own a picture of my mother. Esme and Carlisle had taken most of the ones on my walls and dresser, even before I'd started living with them. There were barbecues at Bella's house, where Bella and I were running around like lunatics, the first time Charlie and Carlisle took us both fishing, and homecoming, where Bella had dressed like the princess I always knew she was.

"I think they overdo it," I finally said. "I rarely ask for anything."

She turned to face me. "They can't have kids, Edward, so you're it. They pour all their love into you. That's not necessarily a bad thing."

My brow furrowed and I sat down on the edge of my bed. My therapist had pretty much said the same thing. Carlisle and Esme told me every day that they loved me. Bella had even said it the day of my mother's funeral – that they all loved me. I felt it. I knew I could go to any of them, but it wasn't something I was used to hearing.

"That bothers you," she noted in a whisper, walking to stand between my legs. "When someone tells you that." When I nodded, she cupped my face, lifting it so she could look me in the eyes. "I've seen your face when they say it to you. It's like you don't believe them."

Shaking my head, I sighed. "No, I do. It's just..."

"They're never going to hurt you," she stated firmly, like she was driving it into my brain. Her eyes searched my face when I nodded. "They'll never leave you. They really do love you, Edward." She kissed my lips once to calm me down. "What if I told you that? That I would never hurt you, never leave you? I love you, Edward, and despite what you've come to believe...it's really easy to love you."

My eyes raked over her face, and I could tell that she meant it. Flashes of our long friendship came to mind – holding hands, sharing secrets, protecting each other, and laughter. So much laughter. I couldn't ever remember laughing with my mother. I cared a lot about Carlisle and Esme, but I'd been with Bella since I was a kid, and she'd never, ever hurt me. Was that love? Was my need to keep her safe, keep her near, and make her smile all balled up into one thing?

I locked on to her dark eyes as she waited patiently for something from me.

"You. I love _you_. Everyone else..." I shrugged a shoulder, letting my voice trail off.

Maybe it was a trust thing, because I trusted Bella explicitly. But I knew it was more than that. I wanted her. All the time. I wanted to touch and be touched, kiss and be kissed, and we could never get close enough when we were alone. Exploring each other had become like a heady, drugged feeling.

"Edward," she whispered, her brow furrowing as she cupped my face.

When her lips met mine, I knew I was right. I loved her. I loved her more than my own life, and no one would be able to break that. Slipping my fingers into her hair and wrapping an arm around her, I shifted her until she climbed on top of my thighs. Scooting us back a little, we laid down on my bed and I hitched her leg up around me. As always, fingers touched and explored, unbuttoning shirts, slipping underneath to feel, caress, and grasp.

My button-down hit the floor and I reached back to grab the back of my T-shirt, yanking it off over my head, because I knew Bella loved the feel of my chest – the skin, the slight hair, the muscles, even a few scars from my childhood. I did the same with her sweatshirt, pulling her closer, because the feel of her skin on mine felt amazing, especially when her nipples were hard. Bella had filled out to a full C-cup, something Newton could only dream about. She fit in my hand, my mouth perfectly.

Shoes were kicked off the end of the bed, leaving us only in our jeans, but Bella stopped us, pulling me on top of her.

"I don't want to stop this time, Edward," she whispered, kissing my chin. "I love you, and I want to show you."

Bracing my elbows on either side of her head, I brushed her hair from her face. "I love you, too," I said, and it came out much more real, more confident. "Are you nervous?"

"Yeah, a little," she whispered, but she was wearing a sweet smile. "You?"

I nodded, swallowing thickly. "We can't take it back."

She grinned, grasping my face and kissing me. "We love each other, Edward. We won't want to take it back."

What I knew of sex from living with my mother, it was loud and foul. But with Bella, it was quiet and sweet. She changed everything about me with every touch, every call of my name, but it was every time she told me she loved me that made me more confident. We'd made each other come before, so we took our time. It was awkward, but...it wasn't. It was just us, learning and kissing, a few smiles thrown in when something tickled.

Bella was on the pill, which she took religiously every day on the way to school, but we used a condom anyway. And that was probably a good thing, because I pretty much came instantly, only to start all over again. There wasn't any pain or blood, only a slight discomfort as she got used to the feel of me inside her. And when it came time to take her home, it just about split me in two to watch her walk into the house.

**~oOo~**

**Present Day**

Grinning, I played with Bella's fingers. "I thought for sure I'd get busted climbing into your window that night, but there was no way I could've stayed away from you. Thank God for alarms."

I kissed her palm, letting my mind wander back for just a bit. Everything had changed after we made love. We'd become so much more – stronger, better – not to mention insatiable. She'd even changed how I felt about everyone around me. It wasn't long after that when I started calling my parents Mom and Dad, instead of Carlisle and Esme. And when they told me they loved me, I was able to say it back and mean it.

I took a deep breath and let it out. "My dad said that when you wake up, it's possible you won't remember some things. I hope he's wrong, Princess. I hope you never forget that it was you that taught me what love is." Leaning forward, I kissed her forehead. "I'm not sure I ever thanked you for that, either."

**~ooo~HtL~ooo~**

**A/N... Before you ask, these two set their own pace. Edward was a bit...behind in certain aspects of his life. Abuse can do that, lock you into an emotional place. But again, it was as easy as breathing. And it was Edward's panic attack at the beginning that made me cry...in case you were wondering. ;)**

**I need to thank the awesome ladies over at The Lemonade Stand, for not only nominating this story for Fic of the Week, but for sending new readers. Thank you so much! And a huge thanks to everyone that voted! :D **

**I know you're ready for Bella to wake up, but give her time. I'll post again on Monday. Until then... Mooches, Deb. :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N...I wanted to thank everyone for the love they've shown this story. I also wanted to thank everyone that voted for it over at TLS. The results aren't in yet, but still...it's amazing to see how it's affecting you guys! And I want to welcome all the new readers that have joined us! :D As a thank you, I'm posting an extra chapter. :)**

**I want to remind you guys that this is a short fic. There are 11 chapters total. And I guess I have to give this whole thing a tissue warning. Though, I'm apparently bad at gauging when they're needed. LOL**

**I'll let you get on with it... :)**

**~ooo~HtL~ooo~**

**Chapter 8**

**Present Day**

The air was wet and chilly when I stepped outside the hospital doors. It was the middle of the afternoon, but the sun was covered by a thick, gray layer of clouds, so it felt much later. Pulling the hood up on my sweatshirt to avoid the slight rain, I checked my messages.

Dad was in with Bella. He wanted to make sure she could breathe on her own, which she could. So now, it was on her. The medicine keeping her asleep would wear off in the next several hours. My dad was sure we'd see some changes by morning. Most of the swelling had diminished to a point that made everyone working on her very happy. I was afraid to hope, but I couldn't help but wish.

The only message I had was from Alice. It seemed Chicago's weather had finally let up and cleared them for take-off, so they were probably already in the air. I needed to brace myself for their arrival. Not so much Jasper, but Alice could be...emotional.

I started to turn around to go back inside, when I heard, "Yo! Mr. Cullen!"

I recognized the kid instantly that was biking across the parking lot. He came skidding to a stop in front of me on the sidewalk.

"Hey, Shawn," I greeted him, smiling when he was too winded to speak for a second.

"Hey," he panted, holding up a finger. "I just heard...about Miss Swan...and I..." He eventually caught his breath. "Man, I'm sorry about your girl," he finally sputtered out.

"Thanks. What are you doing here?" I asked, helping him heave the bike onto the bike rack.

"Mom," he sighed, pointing toward the hospital. "She got a job...answerin' phones or somethin'," he said, but then grinned. "Now we don't have to move."

Smiling, I nodded. Shawn was my student that had lost his father in Iraq, and the possibility that they needed to move was one of his biggest concerns. He'd moved several times, more times than probably Emmett had with his dad when his father was in the military.

"That's good news," I told him, patting his shoulder.

"Yeah, definitely," he murmured softly, looking down at his sneakers. "Look, I just...I wanted to tell you thanks. Not many people understand what... Well, what it feels like. I mean, I didn't really know my dad, but..."

"You still miss him," I finished for him, waiting until he nodded and looked back up at me. "It's normal to miss him...and to be mad at him, which you were the last time we talked. It's all a part of the grieving process. And everyone handles it differently."

He nodded, shoving his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. "Yeah. I'm not so mad anymore. But my mom is sad."

I took a deep breath and let it out. "And she will be. I can't imagine what she's feeling. Though, I have a pretty good idea." I pointed toward the hospital, my heart constricting with the pain that Shawn's mother must be feeling. Looking back to him, I said, "You just have to be there for her. Kind of like how your friends were there for you. I'm pretty sure that stunt Ray pulled in the cafeteria last week was just to see you laugh."

Shawn snorted into a deep laugh. "Oh, man...the look on Mr. Colwell's face!"

"Exactly," I said with a chuckle. "However, Ray deserved detention for loosening the salt shaker on the teacher's table."

Shawn nodded, still smiling. "I didn't think my friends would get it, but..."

"Friends understand more than you think." I shrugged a shoulder. "Well...the ones that truly care, anyway. And sometimes, you have to explain it to them." With the approaching visit from Alice, I couldn't imagine that truer words had ever been spoken.

He nodded and we walked through the front doors together, but before we went our separate ways, he stopped me.

"I just wanted you to know," he started, smirking a little. "The whole school's pulling for her...for you. Mrs. Cope announced that you'd be out for a while, but to keep you in our thoughts. I even think the art class is workin' on somethin'." He took a step away from me toward the side hall. "So don't be surprised when a million cards show up. Or one ginormous one."

Chuckling, I shot him a wave. "Bella would like that. Honestly."

I made it back to the ICU, still sporting a smile. Rose was in Bella's room when I pulled back the curtain. But the sight in the bed made my heart pound. Gone were the tubes, except for the oxygen wrapped under her nose. Her chest rose and fell with each breath she took, her long eyelashes rested against her pale cheeks, and a few of the IV bags were gone. She looked like a sleeping angel...or Sleeping Beauty. I couldn't decide which.

"Everything looks strong, Edward," Rose stated, placing a hand on my shoulder. "Your dad told me to tell you that all her levels are good, the swelling is down, and we should start seeing signs of her waking up by morning."

Nodding was the only thing I was capable of, but she understood. Rose pressed a kiss to my cheek, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

"She's tough, sweetie. From all the stories you and Emmett have told me from when you were kids, she sounds tough as damn nails. Knowing her now, she'd do anything for you, so she's got double the will to fight," she whispered, squeezing my shoulder before leaving the room.

Leaning over her, I simply stared at her face for a moment, finally giving in and kissing her lips just one time very lightly.

"You're so beautiful, Princess," I sighed, pressing my forehead to hers. "I've missed seeing this face without all the..." I gestured to my own face like she could see me. "They keep telling me you should wake by morning," I told her after giving her lips another light kiss before sitting down. "You might wanna rethink that," I snorted, rolling my eyes. "The hurricane known as Alice is on her way to you now." I grinned when her heart monitor bleeped oddly a couple of times. "Good news is that Jasper's with her, so at least he'll keep her under control."

I sighed, dropping my forehead to her thigh. "I can hear you now... 'She's not that bad, Edward,'" I mocked her. "'She's just hyper, and she's a good friend.'"

I kissed her thigh and then set my chin on it, looking up at her. "You didn't always think that way, Bella," I reminded her. "I almost had to step between you. Especially, when it came to me..."

**~oOo~**

**Age 19**

The library at UW was quiet as I typed on my laptop. I glanced up when Bella sat down in a huff, spreading her books, computer, and purse all along the table, but it was her face that stopped me cold. She looked like an avenging angel.

"Princess?" I asked, afraid I'd done something wrong. "You okay?"

"I want _out_ of the dorms. Why can't we live together?" she hissed, her cheeks flushing pink, but her eyes were dark fire.

"Oh," I groaned, shaking my head. I got up and walked around the table to take the chair next to hers. "Because our parents asked us kindly to live on campus for at least the first two years, Bella," I told her. "And they _are_ paying for college. It's only one more year...less than that, actually." She rolled her eyes my way, and I chuckled. "She's that bad?" I asked, leaning an elbow on the table and reaching up to touch her very sweet, but very put-out face.

Bella groaned, her brow furrowing. "She's not..._bad_, really. She's just...social."

Snorting, I shook my head. After our parents' request that we live on UW's campus the first two years, Bella and I had ended up in different dorms. My roommate was perfect. Jasper Whitlock was straight out of Austin, Texas, fairly clean, and very, very laid-back. We were both looking into education, so we had a lot of the same classes. We got along extremely well. In fact, he'd become a damn good friend over the last year and a half.

Bella, however, had not been so lucky. Her first year, her roommate had been fine. Bree had been a shy, quiet girl, and she and Bella had gotten along perfectly. Bree hadn't come back this year, and for some reason, the school had paired Bella up with someone that couldn't be more opposite. Alice Brandon. She was a southern socialite out of Mississippi, a rapid-fire talker, and a party girl. The mere idea that she could crack a book was laughable, but she seemed to be a decent student.

And she didn't like me. At all.

It wasn't really _me_ she didn't like; it was the idea that Bella and I had been together so long. She didn't understand how we weren't living it up in college, weren't taking advantage of the freedom away from home. In other words, she thought Bella should be partying and sowing wild oats – like she was. Plus, she detested how protective I was over Bella when we went out, which was rare anymore, because I definitely wasn't changing how I did things. She thought me controlling, yet she constantly picked on Bella for how she dressed, which pissed me off to no end.

"I just want to stay with you," Bella whined, cupping my face and looking all pitiful. "Why is that bad?"

I kissed her lips, grinning a little. "Because our parents aren't stupid, Princess. They know we're probably going to be together after this year is over. I think they want us to experience time apart before we move in together."

"Maybe I could just sneak in with you and Jasper," she pouted, smirking when I laughed. "I know, I know," she finally sighed, waving a hand. "I get it. I just...wish she'd let some shit go, you know?"

Grimacing, I nodded and then kissed her cheek. "I gotta finish this paper, baby. But after that, we can get something to eat, okay?"

She nodded, kissed my lips, and muttered, "Sounds good. Love you."

"Love you, too, Princess," I sighed against the top of her head when I got up to go back to my chair.

College was a busy time for us, so we took advantage when we could. Bella and I were in some of the same basic classes together, but she was going for business management, whereas I had considered teaching or some sort of counseling. I wanted to help kids like me.

After that evening in the library, it was almost a week before I saw Bella again. We'd just been swamped – papers, tests, and classes took us away from each other. But Friday had rolled around and Jasper and I wanted off the damn campus, so he'd suggested pizza and the movies. We headed to Bella's dorm, which was pretty deserted since it was the start of a long weekend. As we hit her floor, we looked to each other when we heard raised voices.

The door was cracked, so the sight of them practically nose to nose was shocking. It was usually me that did all the fighting. I started to interrupt, but Bella's angry tone brought me up short.

"Alice, I swear to God...you have no fucking idea what you're talking about. What Edward and I have is good. So good, in fact, that you couldn't possibly understand," she said, stepping closer. "It's not the high school sweetheart thing you think it is. You have _no idea_ what we've been through, what _he's _been through."

I shifted on my feet, looking to Jasper. He looked concerned, but stayed quiet.

Bella started to pace, but rounded back on Alice. "I don't need parties or dress clothes...and I sure as hell don't need that guy you just forced on me. I'm good...trust me."

"Can't you see he's controlling you? He glares at every guy that looks your way. You can't even go to the party over at the sorority because he's coming to take you out."

Bella laughed humorlessly. "I think you have that backwards, Alice. I don't _want_ to go with you."

"He's got you brainwashed," Alice huffed, folding her arms across her chest. "What's this drama you've been through? What did that poor pretty boy go through that was so bad? Plastic surgery?"

I moved quickly because if I hadn't, Bella would've tackled Alice to the floor. "Easy, Princess," I soothed her, wrapping my arms around her.

Her face was fierce and hate-filled, and for the first time, I was pretty sure I needed to appeal to the parents about getting Bella out of the dorms, if only to stop her from killing her roommate.

"You don't deserve to know," Bella sneered, pointing over my shoulder. "And I would _never_ betray him like that. It's none of your business."

I chuckled at how protective she was, but she'd been that way our whole lives, even more since we'd fallen in love. Though, at that moment, she was so very sexy that it was almost distracting.

Turning to Alice, I said, "You know, Bella was free to go with you tonight. I wasn't stopping her. She asked me if she could come with us. And the way I act when we're out is to keep her safe, not control her. She means a helluva lot to me, so forgive me if I don't want anything to happen to her. Her father is a police chief and he specifically asked me to keep her safe, so considering that man saved my life, I'd do anything he asked." I raised an eyebrow at her, but Alice glared impassively back my way.

"Edward," Bella sighed, shaking her head.

"What? He did." I shrugged a shoulder, smirking when she cracked a small smile. "And you can tell her whatever you want to about me. I don't care. But it won't be right now, baby, 'cause I'm starving. So if you're comin' with us...we gotta go."

Bella giggled, kissed my lips, and spun around to grab her coat. She turned back, catching sight of Jasper leaning casually in the doorway.

"Hey, Jasper," she sang with a wave.

"Darlin'," he greeted with a nod, but his eyes drifted to Alice, who looked like a pouting child. "So you're the famous Alice," he drawled, tilting his head at her. "I don't get it. They're pretty damn happy, so why do you care?" he asked her, waiting for an answer that never came. "Hmm," he hummed, still assessing her from head to toe. "No, I do get it... Edward's not the controlling one. You are."

"You..." Alice started but stopped when Jasper held up a hand.

"Let me guess... Oldest child of old money, and your parents told you that their way is the only way. Maybe even told you who to date and who you'll marry, which would explain your fear of an asshole boyfriend, and that's not Edward, by the way. And you've come clear across the country just to be rid of them. Yet...you act just like them. You hate what you don't understand, and I'd bet a wad of cash that you don't have a lot of friends back home, yeah? Bella's right; it isn't any of your business. The world is filled with a shit-load of people, all dealing with their own pains, pasts, and heartache. You should learn now how to get along with them. To...live and let live, so to speak," he said with a grin and a grand wave of his hand. He sniffed, finally pushing himself up straight. "Now... What's so special about a party filled with shallow, drunk people?"

"Nothing. I just... Everyone will be there," she argued, jutting her chin out.

"I won't be," he countered. "I'll be down at Mazzio's, grabbin' a slice of pepperoni. You're free to join us – that is, unless you'd rather guzzle from a beer-bong..." The tone in which he spoke made that sound like the dumbest idea on the damn planet, which I thought was his goal.

I had to bury my grin in Bella's hair. Jasper was different, but he truly did live his life by the "whatever floats your boat" mentality. If it didn't concern him, he didn't give it much thought.

Alice didn't say anything, but she grabbed her purse, which probably cost more than my car, and stepped out into the hallway.

Jasper offered her his arm like a gentleman, looking back at us. "Ya'll comin', or what?"

I held up a finger. "Give us a second, J. We'll meet you downstairs."

"Okie dokie," he sang, leading a speechless Alice away.

I shut the door and turned around to face Bella. Moving quickly, my mouth was on hers before I could stop myself, lifting her up by her ass onto her dresser. I didn't know why I was reacting the way I was. I couldn't help it. The mirror rattled as I pressed myself against her, and Bella's legs wrapped around my hips, pulling me closer as she kissed me right back just as deeply, just as fervently. We were panting heavily when we finally pulled apart.

"I love you," I stated in a whisper. "And I know you would never betray me, Princess, so if you need to tell her...tell her. Okay?"

She cupped my face, kissing me one more time.

"I know I'm overprotective. I can't help it." I shrugged a shoulder.

She smiled. "You make me feel safe, Edward. I'm okay with that."

I smiled right back at her. "Good."

Bella snorted into a soft laugh, shaking her head and rolling her eyes. "And to think...we were keeping them separated because we thought they were _too_ different..."

Laughing, I set her down onto the floor. "No kidding. Well, this should prove interesting. Ready, baby?"

"Yeah, I guess," she sighed, but stopped me. "You really want her to know?"

"I trust you, Bella," I told her, opening the door.

"Yeah?"

I kissed the side of her head, crossing my heart. "Always."

**~oOo~**

**Present Day**

Snickering to myself, I shook my head slowly. "I didn't think it was possible, but she truly mellowed out after that. Jasper had a lot to do with it. I'm sure we owe him." I picked up Bella's hand and kissed her palm. "Alice became a good friend to you...to us. I'm pretty sure you told her about my mom. You never mentioned it, but she stopped hating me, at least."

I was probably putting it mildly. Alice had eventually come to me and apologized. She settled into a pretty hefty class schedule, because she was studying art history, and we'd found out that Alice and Jasper had more in common than we'd really ever estimated. They'd been inseparable in college after that night, and eventually, we all left the UW campus. Bella and I had gotten a place together, as had they.

Jasper studied World History, eventually going on to publish several books on World War II. They now traveled together – Alice spending time in various museums, while Jasper researched the local history. In fact, they'd been in Paris when I'd left them the message about Bella's accident.

Laying my head on her leg, I reached up and trailed a finger down Bella's face. "They're worried about you, baby." I sighed deeply, trying to relax. "We all are. They'll be here soon to see you."

I stayed quiet for a moment, tracing her eyebrow. "I miss your eyes, Princess. They tell me everything, and now, I feel a little lost without them. I can always tell when you're happy, sad...turned on," I said with a grin. "They get so dark. But they're so beautiful. They always are to me." I sat up, kissed each closed eyelid. "I hope when they open again that they'll look at me like they always do...like you can see into my very soul. The soul you saved." I kissed her cheek. "I love you, Bella. And I'll be here when you wake up."

**~ooo~HtL~ooo~**

**A/N... I know some of you were worried about their time in college – whether they were separated. No, not really, but you can see the beginning of their lives starting to build. And adult Bella is just as much a spitfire as little Bella. LOL We won't talk about Alice. You'll meet her...and Jasper...soon enough.**

**Big hugs to all of you. To my friends with me in the US, Happy Memorial Day weekend. :) I'll still see you Monday. Until then... Mooches, Deb. :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N... Happy Memorial Day! You guys are welcome for the extra chapter. :) And thank you again for voting over at TLS, because this little fic made the top 5! :D So HUGE hugs and mooches. **

**I know you're all worried about Bella, so I'll just let you get on with it, but I will tell you this is one of my favorite flashbacks. ;) And yeah, you might need tissues...**

**~ooo~HtL~ooo~**

**Chapter 9**

**Present Day**

The sun wasn't even up when I walked back into the hospital with two cups of coffee from the little place across the street. The hallways were calm, except for the occasional footsteps and the beeping of medical equipment here and there. I expected my dad to arrive any minute; he always worked early.

The ICU was quiet, but they'd had a pretty rough night. There was another patient across from Bella that had flatlined a few hours ago, and they'd busted their asses to get the little old lady back. She was scheduled for open heart surgery later that day.

When I made it to the nurse's station, Tanya looked the worse for wear. Her usually tamed strawberry blond locks were wrapped up in a haphazard ponytail.

"Here," I said, setting down the extra cup of coffee, along with some creams and sugars. "You looked like you could use it."

Tanya laughed wearily. "I look that bad, huh?"

Grinning, I shrugged. "It's been a long night."

"That it has," she agreed with a deep sigh, stirring the coffee. "Thanks, Edward."

"Mmhm," I hummed, peeking over into Bella's room, but she was just as I'd left her.

"She's holding steady," Tanya stated, leaning against the desk. "I kept an eye on her while you were gone."

And that's why I'd bought Tanya the coffee. She – and Rose, for that matter – went above and beyond their jobs to watch over Bella. Rose was a friend, but even though Tanya didn't have to go that extra step, she did. I could imagine that some would say that it was because my dad was a doctor, but I wasn't so sure. Tanya seemed to genuinely care about her patients...and the people in the waiting rooms.

She wasn't from Forks, I'd come to find out just by chatting with her to make the nights go by. She was originally from Alaska. She had two sisters with families of their own, and she was the only unmarried one. She'd moved to Seattle, but had found Forks to be a little more like her hometown and a better fit, especially when she had a little boy to raise by herself. She'd shown me pictures; little Liam looked just like her, all the way down to the color of his hair, only a touch darker.

"How's Mrs. Connors doin'?" I asked, pointing to the room across from Bella's.

"Better. She..." she started, but looked down the hallway when a voice I'd recognize anywhere met our ears.

"Oh, hell," I said softly, taking a deep breath. "Brace yourself," I muttered, shaking my head, but I stepped away from the nurse's station to greet Alice and Jasper.

"Darlin', you have to calm down," Jasper chided gently, placing a hand on her shoulder, but he caught sight of me. "Edward..."

"Edward!" Alice gasped, breaking away from him and rushing to me. She threw herself around my middle, hugging me tight enough to knock the wind out of me. "How's she doing? Where is she? What are they saying?!"

Jasper raised an eyebrow from behind her, taking a deep breath. "Alice, he can't answer if he can't breathe." He tugged her back, but reached for my hand, pulling me into a harsh hug. "We're sorry it took so long, but you okay, man?"

I nodded, gesturing to the waiting room. "Let me explain everything, and then you can see her." Once we were sitting down, I pointed toward the door. "Tanya's pretty cool, but she's strict when it comes to how many people can be in the room."

Alice and Jasper listened as I told them everything that had happened since Friday – the accident, Bella's medical issues and progress, and how it was now the waiting game. The hard part was telling them what might happen once she was awake – possible memory loss and brain or neurological damage. Those possibilities made my chest ache. I could handle just about anything, but it would absolutely kill me if she didn't remember stuff – well, me.

"So when does your dad say she'll wake up?" Alice asked, wiping a tear away.

I frowned and swallowed nervously. "He's hoping sometime today. They think the swelling's gone down enough, though I'd be willing to guess he'll check on her first thing this morning before he starts anything else. He always does. And the medicine should be wearing off shortly. It's all up to Bella now."

"Edward?" Alice whispered through tears. "Can I see her?"

"Yeah, Alice. C'mon," I told her, leading her down to the end of the ICU. I drew back the curtain and walked straight to Bella. "Hey, Princess. Guess who's here," I whispered against her forehead.

I grimaced when Alice broke, a sob ripping through her. Bella was so full of life, always smiling, always laughing, that to see her laying so still was a shock.

"Can I... I mean, can she hear me?" Alice sniffled, looking from me to the bed and back again.

I shrugged. "That seems to be an opinion that varies around here. I've been talking to her," I said, placing a hand on my chest. "Some of the nurses say yes, my dad's not sure, and some people say no."

Jasper studied Bella with a solemn expression, but we let Alice have a moment in the room. He looked up to me, his brow wrinkled.

"You hangin' in there?" he asked, leaning back against the wall.

I shook my head. "I'm—"

"Runnin' on fumes," he finished for me. "Ed, you'll kill yourself staying up here twenty-four-seven."

"I'm not leaving her. She wouldn't leave me," I countered firmly. "It is what it is."

He smiled crookedly. "Yeah, true."

Alice stayed with Bella for a few, while Jasper and I caught up. Since they were staying in France, he was taking the opportunity to study the beaches of Normandy. It was most likely going to be his next book. Alice, on the other hand, was finished with her lectures and simply enjoying all the museums Paris had to offer.

"Holy shit, you made it!" I heard behind me, and I turned to see Emmett coming down the hall and Rose getting ready to take over for Tanya.

"Em," Jasper greeted, shaking his hand. "It's good to see you again."

Hugs and greetings were passed around when Alice came out of Bella's room. Jasper didn't have a lot of family, and Alice wasn't on good terms with hers, so during college and afterward, they'd spent the holidays with Bella and me in Forks with our families. We'd all gotten along.

Jasper broke away just briefly as everyone chatted, and I watched him bend to Bella's forehead and drop a kiss. What he whispered to her, I had no idea, but I smiled when her heart monitor fluctuated a little during the steady beats.

When he came back out, he sighed, looking exhausted as he placed a hand on Alice's shoulder. "Is that little lodge still around?" he asked.

"It's the only place in this tiny town," Alice teased, grinning up at me.

"Don't hate on my hometown," I argued petulantly with a chuckle. "And you guys can stay at our place. The spare room is yours if you want it. You just have to put up with Felix bein' nosy."

Alice giggled. "I love that cat. I swear he speaks English."

"He understands it just fine," I snorted, shaking my head. "Do you remember how to get there?"

"I can show 'em," Emmett offered, grimacing a little as he rubbed the back of his neck. "I...um... I need Bella's computer. That's why I'm here before openin' the shop. I've gotta pay my boys, and there's a few bills I gotta take care of. I sure as hell will be glad when she's better. At least I can talk to her about this shit."

I smiled, handing him the house keys. "Thanks, Em. And I'm sure she'll be fine with whatever mess you leave her," I teased, because numbers weren't Emmett's forte – they were Bella's. While Emmett could bake and create just about anything, he couldn't manage the office, so Bella ran the business side of things.

After another round of hugs and promises to be back after a bit of rest, Emmett led Alice and Jasper out of the ICU. I sat down in my usual chair and picked up Bella's hand.

"They came all the way from Paris to see you, Princess," I sighed, kissing each finger. I grinned against her soft skin. "I think Alice hates Forks, but I think Jasper likes it. He always has." I took a deep breath and let it out. "I'm glad we moved back, Bella. It's better here. It feels like where we should be. I was never so glad to get the call from Mrs. Cope at the end of my internship. You were going crazy working at that little shop in Seattle..."

**~oOo~**

**Age 24**

I dropped my phone onto the couch, smiling a little, but spun around when the front door of the apartment flew open and then slammed closed with a heavy thud. Bella was livid. She was more than that. She looked like a volcano about to erupt, with flushed cheeks, lips in a firm line, and eyes blazing.

"Jesus, Princess! What's wrong?" I asked, walking to her and taking her briefcase, her purse, and her coat and dropping them all onto the table.

"He's so...so..._stupid_!" she growled, her fists clenching at her side. "I can't deal with it. I've tried and I just can't."

I sat down on the sofa, pulling her down with me. "Talk to me..."

"James! He never listens to what I tell him, and then he gets pissed at me when things go wrong," she muttered. "He's an asshole."

Nodding, I kissed her head because James _was_ an asshole – a moody, flamboyantly gay, trust fund baby...asshole. He treated Bella like she was an idiot, but she way outsmarted him. If he wasn't careful, he'd run his small jewelry shop into the ground. Personally, I thought he simply just hated women. It was his life partner/business partner that had hired Bella right out of college two years prior. Marcus was the talent between the two. James was the money. While Bella made enough to support us both while I finished my Master's, she'd had to suffer through more of James's tantrums than I could count.

"I adore Marcus, but I can't..." She took a deep breath and let it out, looking up at me. "You're a sight for sore eyes. Let's just end it there."

I chuckled, kissing her lips. "You're lookin' pretty good yourself, Princess," I told her.

It had been a rough two years after Bella had graduated from UW, because I still had more school, which included an internship. We'd struggled to survive, and we'd stayed in the same cheap apartment that we'd moved into our sophomore year of college. It wasn't always easy, but we'd managed. Time together had been scarce, though.

"And I may have a solution for all of it," I hedged nervously.

"You bought a winning lottery ticket, and we can now live on a big ol' boat, going anywhere we want?" she asked, grinning when I snorted into a laugh.

"Umm, no." I smiled her way when she groaned. "But...I think I got an offer today that may change everything." She turned my way and I cupped her chin. "Actually, it's two offers, so that makes it a decision we need to make. Together."

Bella's brow furrowed, but she waited patiently.

"The crisis center offered me a full-time position today," I told her. "They'd start me out with good pay and benefits. I'd pretty much be in charge of the teen center... Well, underneath Peter."

"Edward, baby, that's awesome!" she squealed, launching herself into my lap.

Smiling at her, I hugged her close. "I know, right?" I said with a chuckle. "And I was all stoked about it...until I got home. I had a message with another offer."

"Where?" she whispered, running her fingers through my hair. She looked so proud of me that it was almost breathtaking.

"Someplace I didn't tell you I applied, because I didn't think the position was going to be there," I started, wrapping one of her long curls around my finger. I swallowed nervously and met her gaze. "Mrs. Cope from Forks High called, and apparently, their counselor position is gonna be open by the beginning of the next school year." Bella's mouth fell open, but she needed to hear it all. "Look, baby...it's less money, less responsibility, but it—"

"It's what you want," she finished for me, and I nodded, gazing up at her. "So we could...go home."

Smiling a little, I nodded. "Yes, but...there's your job to consider. There's more money and opportunities here in Seattle. I want to talk about this, Bella. This is...important. It's our _lives_. I don't want any regrets here. Okay?"

She shifted on my lap, playing with my tie. She finally just loosened it and tugged it off, setting it beside us on the cushion. "What if..." She placed her hands on either side of my face and kissed me briefly. "What if I told you I didn't care? That I'd turn in my notice to Marcus tomorrow?" She didn't wait for me to answer. "And what if...I told you I spoke to Emmett yesterday and he needs help?"

"Yesterday? Why didn't you say somethin'?"

She giggled and shrugged. "'Cause you distracted me!" she accused. "One second, we're watching TV, and the next, we're going at it like bunnies! How's a girl supposed to think?!"

Laughing, my head fell back to the couch. "Sorry! I can't help it. Next time, when you've got something important to say, I suggest not wearing my T-shirt. _Just_ my T-shirt," I growled against her neck dramatically.

She snorted and rolled her eyes, shoving me back. "So yeah...Emmett needs help. I've tried to help him from here, but he's flailing. He could use someone to help with the business side of things so he can concentrate on what he does best, which is bake. He wants to expand into catering, but he can't without the help."

Our eyes locked, and we were quiet for a moment.

However, Bella nervously bit at her bottom lip before adding, "Plus, I didn't know how you felt about Forks. I mean, you've got some pretty bad memories from there."

Taking a deep breath, I let it out slowly, considering my response. "I do. I have some really good ones, too. I'm sorry I didn't tell you I applied at Forks High, but I honestly didn't think it was in the running." I trailed a finger down her beautiful face. "Bella, I don't think of my mom when I think of Forks. I think of us. Does that make sense?" I asked her, and she nodded, her eyes tearing up a bit. "I want us to be...happy with whatever decision we make, 'cause I think we're in this for the long haul. We could make it work either place."

She kissed me sweetly. "I'm glad you feel that way," she whispered against my lips. "And I want us happy, too. So...why does Forks sound right?" she asked, tilting her head at me.

I smirked a little. "'Cause you and I aren't about making money. We never have been. And we've always been able to just...be ourselves there. You would be able to do what you really do best with Emmett – and with the respect you deserve."

"And you'd be working with kids like you wanted, but without as much stress as the crisis center," she countered. "No offense, Edward, but the crisis center makes me nervous, especially where it is and how late you work. You could get hurt."

I tugged her lip from between her teeth and nodded in agreement. "Is that our answer?"

Her eyes teared up again. "We'd be working closer to the same schedule, too," she added, shrugging a shoulder. "I miss you. I hate going to bed without you. Those nights scare me." She finally locked gazes with me. "Edward, I wanna go home."

**~oOo~**

**Present Day**

"I've never told you no to anything you wanted, Princess. I'm incapable of doing it. Felix is a prime example of that – pathetic creature that he was when he showed up," I said with a soft laugh. "So when you told me you wanted to come back to Forks, I was in."

I sat forward and kissed her cheek. "And holy shit, Bella, it's been the best year of our lives! I'm not sure I've ever felt as..._whole_ as I have this past year. My job is great, the kids are amazing, and you've fucking flourished working for Emmett. And we get to go to bed together every night just like you wanted. I can't imagine our lives any other way, baby," I said, emotions taking over just a little. My eyes burned as I kissed her fingers again. "It's why I just..._knew_ it was time to take us to the next level. I'm so ready, Bella, and I need you to wake up. I miss you so much..."

The heart monitor bleeped, but it was much more rapid than I'd ever heard it. I scooted forward and ran a flat hand over Bella's forehead and over the top of her head. I swallowed nervously when her brow furrowed under my fingers and her hand twitched in mine.

I think I stopped breathing for a second when her eyes squeezed tighter, but finally opened for the first time since I'd said goodbye to her before work on Friday morning. Confused, hazy brown opened up to the ceiling, and I pressed the call button on the side of her bed.

Rose rushed in, checking machines, Bella's pulse, and finally smiling down at her.

"Easy, Princess," I whispered, holding her hand and kissing her fingers. "You're okay. I've got you."

"I'll call your dad," Rose said softly, but we both stopped Bella from pulling her oxygen line away from her face. "Looks like she's comin' around," she sang softly with a big smile.

Dark brown locked with mine, and I held my breath.

"Edward?"

Every bit of stress, worry, and heartache left me all at once, and a sob ripped through me as I leaned over and kissed her forehead. My name never sounded so damn good. "Yeah, Bella...I'm right here, Princess."

**~ooo~HtL~ooo~**

**A/N... Let it out. I know you've been worried. And now you know why THE question hadn't been asked before now. Edward wasn't quite there yet. :) And that flashback was one of my favorites, because it was so good to see them as adults, to see the little kids all grown up but in essence the same BFFs they've always been. :)**

**There's one more regular chapter and then the epi. I'll see you guys again Thursday. Until then... Mooches, Deb. :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N... HUGE thank yous for voting for _Hard to Love_ as Fic of the Week. Thank you! :) **

**This is the last regular chapter of this little story, but not the final one. There will be an epilogue to it. I'll let you get on with it. I know you're itching to find out how our Bella is doing. So go on... ;)**

**~ooo~HtL~ooo~**

**Chapter 10**

**Present Day**

There wasn't a more beautiful sight on the damn planet than Bella's confused eyes staring up at me as I cried like a little kid, but I couldn't help it. I'd missed her voice, those sweet eyes, her touch. And it was coming at me all at once.

"I see I just made it in time," my dad said, ripping back the curtain and patting my shoulder. "It's okay, son."

"She's waking up," I said needlessly, but my heart was about to crush my chest, it was pounding so hard.

Dad gazed down at Bella, smiling a little. "There she is," he crooned to her, checking her eyes and then her pulse. "You gave us quite the scare, Bella, but don't try to talk if you're not ready..."

She huffed, frowned, and shifted a bit, but when her gaze finally cleared just a little, those sweet brown eyes that I'd missed so damn much locked onto my face again.

"Edward?" she rasped, trying to swallow.

"Hey, baby," I sighed in so much relief that I practically felt dizzy. "Just relax, okay? Let Dad check on you."

She gazed up at my dad, and he smiled again, saying, "Bella, there was an accident and you hit your head pretty hard. I just want you to relax for me, all right?"

She nodded, whispering, "'Kay."

He checked her pupils again, then her responses to touches on different places on her body, and he seemed pleased with her reactions. He finally smirked and shot me a wink.

"Bella, can you tell me if you're hurting anywhere?" he asked her.

She licked her lips and pulled her hand from mine to tap her temple. "My head hurts..."

Carlisle chuckled, looking my way. "I think we can take care of that. A headache never sounded so good."

"No shit," I wheezed as he left the room, my emotions bubbling up unexpectedly again. Bella turned her head my way, and I touched her cheek, unable to hide the tears on my face. "You scared me. I thought I'd lost you..."

I laid my head on her lap, and she gently held my face. "Edward?" she whispered, her voice rough. "I don't remember an accident...but I had a weird dream."

Grinning out of sheer stupid relief, I huffed a laugh. "What was the dream, Princess?"

Her brow furrowed adorably and she licked her lips. "It was like...our lives. I saw everything...even from when we were kids."

"Jesus," I breathed, my mouth hanging open as I sat up straight. "You heard me?"

"Heard you?" she asked, but there wasn't time to explain.

Her room became a beehive of activity. Charlie and Renee showed up with my mom, my dad gave her something for her headache, which made her sleepy, and there was talk about moving her out of ICU and into a regular room. And they did. As she slept peacefully, they moved her to another floor, which gave me time to call a few people – Emmett, Alice, and Angela.

By the time she woke back up, early Tuesday morning had rolled into late Tuesday afternoon. Her now private room was filled with flowers, balloons, stuffed animals, and an enormous get well card from Forks High, the latter having been delivered by Shawn with pride. He'd apparently volunteered to bring it because his mom worked at the hospital now.

Bella had roused a couple of times, spoken to her parents, Alice and Jasper, Angela, and me, but nothing major. Dad's biggest concerns now were short- or long-term memory loss, possible seizures, or nausea...or all of the above. He wanted to watch her closely over the next few days and run some more tests. So far, Bella had sleepily recognized everyone that had visited, which was a relief, and her inability to recall the accident concerned Dad, but he said that wasn't uncommon.

When her eyes opened again, looking a touch clearer, we were alone in the room for the first time since that morning.

I smiled and kissed her hand. "Hey, sleepyhead."

She snorted, but stretched a little. Rolling her head my way, she asked, "What happened?"

"What do you remember?" I countered. My dad had told me to test her memory when she really woke up, so I figured that was the best place to start.

Her brow furrowed and she studied my face. "I remember getting up...with you...and going to work..."

"That's it?" I verified, and she nodded. I kissed her hand again, taking a deep breath. "Well, yeah, I guess we can start there..."

**~oOo~**

**Age 25**

Alarms were invented by the devil, I was convinced, as I slammed my hand down on the snooze button, only to curl back around the heavenly warmth of Bella. I'd have most likely crashed back out until the alarm sounded again if she hadn't started to stir.

Smooth, soft skin slid languidly against my own as Bella rolled over to bury her face into the crook of my neck. And that would've been okay, too, had a long, strong leg not hitched itself around my hip. Fingers ghosted down my spine and kisses tickled my neck. Pulling Bella closer, my groan muffled against her bare shoulder, I couldn't help but want her.

"Princess, we gotta get up for work," I argued uselessly in a whisper into her neck.

Her sweet giggle tickled my ear. "You are..._up_."

That wasn't new news. Ever. Grinning against her shoulder, I opened my mouth and left a long, slow kiss. My hips surged forward, both of us moaning into the quiet of the still-dark room.

"I am..._up_," I murmured, rolling her until I was braced over her and settled perfectly between her legs. "You feel too good."

"Don't stop," she begged, threading her fingers into my hair and gripping my shoulder.

"We'll be late," I argued against her skin as I kissed my way down her neck, across her collarbone, and finally teasing the peaks that looked achingly tight.

"Don't care. Don't stop."

Bella was beautiful as we moved perfectly together to become one, her head pressing back into the pillow. Hands twisted in sheets, skin brushed against skin, and eyes met when foreheads pressed together. We'd been together for so long that insignificant things like morning breath and bedhead didn't matter.

Gazing down at her, I'd never felt so much all at once. She'd become the air I breathed, the crutch on which I leaned, and the safe haven that as a kid, I never thought I'd have. As she held me close, her eyes on my face, I could tell it was the same for her. We'd always been the closest of friends, almost like siblings when we first met – secretive and silly and protective – but it had grown into so much more, so much better. And when we came quietly together as we ignored the alarm that blared again, I knew it was finally time to ask her the question I'd been wanting to since I was sixteen years old.

No other woman mattered to me. When people had told us that we needed to live our lives apart or see what else was out there or give each other space, we'd always looked at them like they were crazy. No one else would ever get it. No one would never understand me as much as Bella did...and vice versa. Now that we were home, building a solid life together, I knew that it was time for the little black box that was hiding in the back of my sock drawer to come out.

Dropping a kiss to her chin, her nose, and then her lips, I whispered, "I love you."

She smiled, running her fingers through my sleep-crazed hair. "I love you, too, Edward. But..._now_ we need to get up."

"Okay, okay..."

We shared a shower, talking about what we had to do that day, but we were both glad it was Friday. Emmett didn't really need Bella on the weekends, so we usually had the two days to ourselves.

Once my tie was straight, I stepped out of the bedroom and walked into the kitchen to see Bella spoiling Felix as usual.

"Now?" he begged her, looking at the cream she was pouring into her coffee like it was the only thing he needed in order to live.

"Yes, now, silly boy," she crooned to him, grabbing a saucer and pouring a little for him.

His fluffy-chunky self waddled over and practically inhaled that shit.

"Princess," I snorted, shaking my head.

"What? He deserves to be spoiled, Edward. He's had a hard life," she argued, waving me away when I glared at her. "Okay, so he was all of four months old when he showed up, but still..."

"Exactly, but whatever. He's ridiculously happy," I noted, pointing at him when gazed up at me with what I was sure was a pompous "I got my way" expression.

We walked out to the cars together, and my nose wrinkled at the foul weather. It was rainy and icy, instilling the air with a harsh bite to it, but I turned to Bella.

"Hey, how 'bout dinner at the Lodge tonight? We can meet here and drive together. We'll go when you're done at work," I suggested, thinking I could grab her ring before we left because I knew exactly where we were going after dinner.

"Yeah, definitely," she chirped with a smile, standing on her toes to kiss my lips. "I've got a final appointment for the Johnson wedding to show her pictures of the cake that Emmett's finishing up this morning. I'll come from there."

"Sounds good, Princess," I told her, kissing her lips before we went our separate ways for the day.

I heard from her off and on all day. It was simple texts about Emmett being silly or seeing Charlie for lunch, but it broke up the monotony of my quiet day. I had one session with Shawn before I left, and when I arrived home, she wasn't there yet. Thinking the Johnson appointment ran over, I went ahead and changed clothes, rummaged through my sock drawer, and secured Bella's ring in my pocket.

Around seven o'clock, the phone rang, and I answered it immediately, hoping she was on her way. I wasn't nervous exactly, but more...anxious. And I was eyeballing the weather outside, trying to decide if the plans I had were going to actually work.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Edward."

"Dad?"

"Son, I need you to come down to the hospital. There's...been an accident," he stated carefully.

If I were honest with myself, Bella wasn't the first person to cross my mind. It just never occurred to me that he'd be calling about her. Her parents or my mom, absolutely. In fact, I knew that Mom and Renee had gone to Port Angeles for a girls' night out.

"Is it Mom?"

"No, son..." His pause made my heart stop. Completely. "Edward, it's Bella..."

"No, no, no...she was just...and she's..." I rambled, but my hands started to shake and my vision blurred.

"Edward, please, please focus. I need you here. Now," he stated firmly. It was the tone he sometimes took when he needed my complete and undivided attention.

"I'm on my way..."

**~oOo~**

**Present Day**

"I've been here ever since," I stated, toying with her blanket.

"So...Edward, wait," Bella stopped me, her brow furrowed. "What's today?"

"Tuesday."

"I lost five days?" she gasped, worrying me for a moment when her breathing grew heavier. "That can't be... Really?"

I wrinkled my nose and nodded. "Baby, you hit your head really hard."

She shook her head, tears welling up in her eyes. "I don't remember that," she sighed frustratedly. "I mean, I remember some things...the morning, Felix, even getting to the bakery, but..."

"It's okay, Bella," I soothed her, running my hand over her head. "Dad says it's perfectly normal that you wouldn't remember some things. Hell, he was worried you would have more memory loss than you do," I explained, and she nodded in acceptance.

"Where were we going?" she asked.

"The Lodge."

"No, you said you had plans..."

Grinning, I kissed her lips. "Ask me that again when we spring you from this joint, okay, Princess?"

When she nodded, I just took a second to look at her, but her fingers caressed the skin beneath my eyes.

"You look...exhausted. Didn't you sleep?" she whispered, frowning when I shook my head no. "Edward..."

"I couldn't leave you. I mean, I did one night because—"

"The parents ganged up on you, didn't they?" she asked, wearing a small smile. But I simply stared at her. "What?"

"How'd you know that?"

"It seems like something they'd do, but..." She paused, narrowing her eyes at me. "Or did I dream that?"

"What do you remember?" I asked, testing her again. I dropped a kiss to the palm of her hand.

She licked her lips, shaking her head. "Not much. Just flashes of things. Like the day we met and the day we first kissed. I just...the dreams were so...vivid. And your voice...I remember your voice, Edward, like so clearly."

I kissed her lips, leaving them pressed there for a second or two. "I talked the whole time you were out, Bella. Maybe you did hear me."

"What'd you say?"

Grinning, I chuckled. "Everything."

Two days later, Bella was much better. Her eyes were bright, her memory seemed unaffected, and her head wasn't hurting as much. Dad tested her every which way, but seemed pleased with how she was progressing, though she occasionally got a little dizzy and nauseated when she moved too quickly. Again, he said it was normal. Her brain had basically slammed into the side of her skull, so it would take time to heal.

She'd had a long day of visitors on Thursday, and I'd simply stayed in the background. I felt a little easier leaving her now that she was getting better. Felix was getting antsy and somewhat cranky without her because I simply didn't cut it for him. He wanted Bella. When Bella started tearing into Emmett for messing up her accounting system, I knew she was well on her way to coming back home.

She'd asked her dad about her car, because I didn't know the answer. He'd simply said, "The car doesn't matter, Bells. We were more worried about fixing you than the damn car." Though, in private, he'd told me that the car wasn't completely lost, and he'd gone ahead and put it in the shop to get it fixed.

By Saturday, Bella was cleared to be released from the hospital, though she was to take it easy for a week or two before going back to work. She was absurdly adorable as she sat in pajamas on the edge of our sofa. We had the place to ourselves. Alice and Jasper had left Friday morning. They'd wanted to take advantage of the weather heading back to France, but I thought I'd heard Jasper mention to Alice that they wanted to come back and make Forks their home base.

Felix was taking advantage of having her complete attention as he wound around her legs in a never-ending figure eight. Bella rubbed the side of her head where she'd hit the driver's side window in the crash, her dark, confused eyes landing on me as I brought her something to eat.

"What, Princess?" I asked, sitting next to her.

She frowned a little, her brow wrinkling. "I think of things...and I can't figure out if it's real or if it's that dream."

"Tell me and I'll try to help," I told her, snickering a little, because apparently, some of the things I'd told her had wriggled its way into her subconscious somehow.

She studied my face. "When did you want to kiss me? The first time, I mean."

Grinning, I sighed. "When I was fifteen. The day of my mom's funeral. Remember when I crashed out in your room? You were mad at me for climbing the tree?"

"Oh yeah..." She giggled softly, nodding a bit. She frowned again, poking at the sandwich I'd made her. "And why do I have this feeling there's something we have to talk about?"

My heart stopped, but I cupped her face, taking a deep breath before kissing her sweet lips. "Bella, I said a lot of things while you were out, not one of them a lie, and there is something to talk about, but...not now. Okay? It's important to me that you're all better for that talk because there's someplace specific I want to take you."

She frowned at me and nodded, finally picking up her sandwich to take a bite. She chewed slowly, picking off a piece of ham to hand over to Felix, which he took greedily. I shook my head, but it was the little things I'd missed most, even though it had only been a week.

"I missed you," I sighed against her temple, starting to get up to let her eat, but she gripped my shirt to keep me next to her.

She set her sandwich down, and Felix looked at her like she was crazy for stopping. She licked her lips and kissed me. "Thank you, Edward. For taking care of me. I can't imagine what that was like. I would've gone crazy in your place."

Shaking my head, I said, "Don't. I wouldn't have been anywhere else, and I think I did go crazy, but Princess...I don't think you have any idea how much you mean to me. From the second you held my hand on your seventh birthday until this moment, you've been the only constant, perfect, beautiful thing in my life. And I'm not sure I truly realized it until something happened to you." I cupped her face, smiling when her tears threatened again. "You came back to me. That's all that matters."

Pressing my lips to hers, I reveled in her warmth, her smell, even those deep brown eyes that locked with mine. I pulled back, but left our foreheads touching.

"I scared you, Edward. I'm sorry," she whispered, her voice catching on the last word.

I smiled softly back at her, kissing her briefly. "You did, but it's okay. You're home. That makes everything okay."

She kissed me again, but whiskers against our cheeks and heavy paws on our legs suddenly interrupted us.

Felix glared at the two of us, his chuffing purr ghosting across our skin before he head-butted us both. "Now?!" he asked, looking with wide green eyes from me to Bella, and finally the sandwich left abandoned on the coffee table.

Chuckling, I ruffled the top of his head. "Felix missed you, too." Bella gazed at him with loving eyes, and I added, "Eat, Princess, so you can get better." I stood up, dropping a gentle kiss to the side of her head where she'd hit it.

"Go get your sandwich," she ordered, already picking up the remote control. "I'll find us something on TV."

"Sounds good," I told her, walking back to the kitchen. I smiled at the normal sounds of the TV coming on, the volume being turned down, but what made me happy was the sound of Bella's giggle.

"Now?" Felix asked again.

"Oh my god, Felix...now," she sighed exasperatedly, but her smile was laced within those words.

That was the sound of home, the sounds I couldn't stand not hearing had I stayed here while she was in the hospital. She was back and she was getting better and better by the day. The ache in my chest that had balled up since my dad had called that rainy, icy Friday night finally let go. Her ring was secured back in my sock drawer, but it wouldn't stay there for long.

**~ooo~HtL~ooo~**

**A/N... Like I said, there's an epi still to come. And I know you're all smart enough to figure out what that's about. ;) **

**I am working on an outtake for this story – yes, in Bella's POV – for the Fandom4Oklahoma. I haven't registered yet, but I'm still writing it. I'll be sure to let everyone know via Twitter and FB when I've officially signed up. :) However, I am curious as to what you'd like to see from Bella's side of this relationship. **

**Thank you again for coming along this journey with me. I'll see you guys again on Monday for the epi, and I'll save my big thanks for then. Later... Mooches, Deb. :)**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N... Yeah, you're not seeing things. I'm posting earlier than I planned. **

**As much as it saddens me to mark this little story complete, I am happy to announce that there will be a Bella's POV outtake that I'm donating to the Fandom4Oklahoma. It's already finished and sent to my beta. :) **

**I want to thank everyone that gave this a shot. I've seen names come across that I respect in this fandom and that means a lot to me. I've also seen new readers, and I'd like to thank you, too. :) Not to mention all of you that tend to come on EVERY journey with me. It's humbling. Thank you!**

**Like I said, I know you're all smart enough to figure out what this is, so I'll let Edward finally do what he'd planned to do. ;)**

**~HtL~**

**Chapter 11 – Epilogue**

**Present Day**

"Edward, why are we here?" Bella asked, smirking over at me once we were out of the car.

Grinning, I simply reached for her hand, taking a long, slow gaze around the elementary school playground. The sun was shining, the air was crisp and clean, and it was a Sunday, so the place was all ours. But the best part of all was the bright, clear, warm brown eyes gazing up at me like she knew I was up to something, which I was.

Bella had recovered quickly. Emmett had forced her to take almost a month away from the bakery, but she'd worked from home when she felt like it. I'd stayed out with her the first week, but between our mothers, she'd been watched over pretty closely after that. Her memory was just fine, though she hated that she could only guess about the accident itself. She was pretty sure some sort of animal ran out in front of her on her way home. Charlie had said there wasn't anything on the road after the accident, so we could only guess that she'd tried to avoid hitting something and skidded out of control.

The headaches had stuck around for a few weeks, but they were few and far between now, since it had been a couple of months. I was just happy that she no longer got lightheaded when she stood up too quickly or turned too fast. I was pretty sure Felix was too, because he'd accidentally gotten kicked a time or two when I'd tried to get to her before she hit the floor.

Looking at her right then, you wouldn't know anything had happened at all. She was that bright, happy thing she'd always been. And damn, if she wasn't beautiful. She was wearing dark jeans and a pink sweater, her hair pulled back into a long ponytail that fluttered in the slight breeze. She took my hand, linking our fingers together, as I walked us through the old playground.

They'd refurbished some parts of the play area over the years, but the swings were still in the same spot, only with newer seats and chains. However, the swings weren't my goal. Despite the fact that Bella and I had met in that spot eighteen years ago, I didn't want to talk there. I was leading us to the huge, partially buried tire in the far corner. I wanted to remind her of a promise we'd made to each other as kids.

"Ooh, the old tire fort," she sang, diving in just like I'd thought she would.

Chuckling, I followed in after her. Where a tire that big came from, I had no idea. As kids, we could fit on one side; it was a tight fit now that we were grown, but we each took our usual side, our feet meeting in the middle. In order to get more comfortable, I draped her legs over mine and pulled her close so that we were almost face to face.

"We shoulda kissed in here," she said with a sweet, secretive giggle as she grabbed my face in both hands.

Brushing my lips across hers, I whispered, "We still can, Princess...just wait, though. Okay?" When she pulled back a little, licking her lips, I brushed a stray hair away from her face. "Do you remember the last time we sat in here?" I asked her, tilting my head a little.

Her brow furrowed a bit, and I wondered if she'd forgotten. She knew all about the stories I'd told her while she was asleep in the hospital, but I'd left this one out. And as I sat there, I wondered if I'd left it out on purpose...for this moment.

Bella's eyes drifted over my face as she reached up to trail a finger across my eyebrow. "Yeah, that was... We were eleven, right? Well, you were almost twelve. It was just before we left this school."

Smiling, I nodded. "Yes, exactly." I picked up her arm and pushed up her sleeve, bending it and revealing an old scar. "You still have the scar," I whispered, kissing the tip of her elbow. "God, Bella...you were so upset that day. I didn't know how to handle it. You were usually my rock, but I found you in here after school..."

**~oOo~**

**Age 11**

Pouring out the water from the bucket, I ran back into the classroom to give it back to Mrs. Stevens. I'd had to wash all the blackboards for calling Newton a dumbass. I closed the closet, rushed to my desk, and hoisted my backpack up onto my shoulder.

"Mr. Masen, I hope you'll watch your language from now on," the old bat called after me.

"Yes, Mrs. Stevens!" I yelled, bolting down the hallway toward the playground, where Bella was waiting for Charlie, who always picked us up on Friday afternoons just a bit late, but he bribed us with ice cream before Esme picked me up at their house.

"Hey, Bella! Where you at?" I called, spinning around when I heard laughter. When I caught sight of the new girl, I sneered. Bella and I didn't like her, but Liquid Lauren sure did. And of course, Jessica always went along with whatever anyone else said.

"Your _girlfriend_ is hiding," Jane taunted, pointing at the old tire fort. She was a short thing, mean as the day was long.

Ignoring her, I ran across the playground, dropping my backpack next to Bella's pink one. "Hey, Princess...what'cha doin' in here?" I asked, crawling in and taking my usual spot across from her. "Charlie'll be here any second. Don'tcha want...ice...cream?"

My heart stopped when I saw that she was crying, like really, _really_ crying. Bella sometimes got teary over things like movies, or me getting hurt from Roger, but she hardly ever just...sobbed. Tears streamed down her face as she held her elbow, which had dirt and blood caked on it. Frowning, I crawled closer.

"Bella, what happened?" I asked, starting to reach for her arm, but she jerked away.

"Don't," she sobbed. "Just...forget it. Okay?"

I sat back on my heels, watching as she swiped at her face. "It was Jane, wasn't it? I knew she looked way too happy," I mumbled, poking Bella's knee. "What'd she do?"

"She..." She sniffled and looked out the hole in the tire, wrapping her arms around her knees. "We were talking about middle school, okay? And then they said...they told me... They said you and me wouldn't be friends anymore...that you'll find other friends. Guy friends. That it's weird that boys and girls are best friends. She said girls should have _girl_ best friends and boys should have _boy_ best friends, and I..." She looked down at her elbow. "When I told her to bite me, Liquid Lauren tripped me." Tears fell down her face when she looked up at me. "Is it weird? I mean, would you rather hang out with boys?"

I shook my head. "What the hell for?" I asked her. "And who, Princess? Mike? He's a dumbass, even though I'm not allowed to call him that anymore." I smiled when she giggled and sniffled at the same time. "I don't see the big deal, Bella. We like all the same stuff, so what difference does it make? And besides, you're the only one that knows...you know, about my mom," I whispered, scooting closer on my knees. "I can't tell no one about that, ya know?"

"I won't tell."

"I know," I said with a nod. "Does it feel weird to you?"

"No! I just don't want it to change when we go to middle school," she muttered, picking up a stick and throwing it out the hole.

"Me, either," I sighed, using the tail of my shirt to try to clean up her elbow. "This is pretty bad, Princess," I murmured, blowing on it when she hissed a little. "Renee'll clean you up."

Bella nodded, sniffling again, and looked up at me. "If we both don't think it's weird, then it's all right...right?"

Smiling, I nodded. "Right. And I don't want to find other friends. _You're_ my best friend."

Bella just...got me. I didn't need a guy friend. Most of the guys in our class were...well, dumbasses.

She looked up at me, still looking sad, and I hated it. She always made me forget the stuff that upset me. She always made me smile, and I wanted to do the same for her.

"Hey," I whispered, nudging her leg again. "What if... What if I promise that we'll always be best friends? We'll make a pact together."

A small smile slowly crept up her face and she nodded. "You swear it?"

"I swear it."

We crossed our hearts at the same time, smiling when it was over. Bella's tears dried, but we both stuck our heads out when we heard Charlie call for us.

"Hey! Thunder and Lightning...where are you?"

**~oOo~**

**Present Day**

"Thank God Jane didn't stay in Forks very long," Bella muttered, smiling when I chuckled. "She was a nasty piece of work." She scooted closer, kissing my lips. "I didn't tell you something else she said," she confessed. "She said you were cute. And that you'd forget about me..."

Rolling my eyes, I shook my head. "Never. Why didn't you say something?"

"'Cause I _knew_ you were cute," she said with a giggle, running her fingers through my hair. "I was your friend, but I wasn't blind, Edward. You always looked like this...wild thing. All windblown and fierce. And your eyes...so green, but I didn't want girls to look at you that way." She paused a moment, her face softening with memories. "We kept that promise, for the most part."

"Yeah, even when I was pretty angry with my life, I still considered you my best friend," I told her.

"I know, baby," she sighed, smiling sweetly. "Did you bring me here just to tell me this story?"

Grinning, I shook my head. "No. There's something I want to talk to you about. I told you that in the hospital, and I told you to remind me when you got out, but I just... I've been worried about you, but you're all better now."

"Edward, what is it?" she asked, her brow furrowing.

I swallowed nervously, glancing out the hole in the tire and then back to her. "I wanted to do this here because...that promise meant the world to me, Bella. I don't think you understand just how much. Without you back then... Well, I would've been pretty damn alone." I picked up her hands, kissing her fingers. "Now? Now I love you so much, but I'd like to think that our friendship comes first."

"I love you, too, Edward, but you're...kinda scaring me."

Laughing softly, I shook my head, but I reached into my jacket pocket. Finally, I was able to give her the ring I'd planned to the night of her accident.

"Princess, I swear to you that you'll _always_ be my best friend, that I'll spend the rest of my life making sure you know just how much you mean to me," I vowed, crossing my heart and opening the box between us. "Will you marry me?"

Bella gasped, her hands flying to her mouth before she finally took the box from my hand. Tears fell down her face, reminding me of that day so long ago, but this time, they were happy tears. She was quiet for a moment, but then she reached up to cup my face with one hand.

"Is this... Jesus, Edward, were you going to ask me this the night I got hurt?" she whispered, her voice shaky.

"Yeah," I whispered back with a nod, looking down at the ring. "I've had this ring since before we moved back to Forks, though." I locked eyes with her again. "This is another pact, Princess..."

She giggled and kissed me. Hard. Pulling back, she pressed her forehead to mine. "Yes, yes...a thousand times, yes!"

Grinning like a loon, I helped her slip the ring onto the finger I'd played with while she was unconscious in the hospital. I kissed it and then her lips.

"Best friends," I whispered, crossing my heart.

She crossed hers too, whispering, "Always."

**~ooo~HtL~ooo~**

**A/N... Sigh... Yeah, these guys deserved their HEA. ;) **

**This has been a learning experience for me as far as emotions and certain writing aspects go. The flashbacks were what made me fall in love with these two. I absolutely adored little Bella and Edward. And the parents. **

**I need to thank a few people. **

**The ladies over at the Lemonade Stand, for the love they've shown this fic...and the love they've always given me. **

**My Pre-readers: GooberLou, Inkedupmom, and Beffers87/Bethany Tullos. It was Bethany that made the most amazing and pretty things for me...for this fic and others. She's even made a beautiful banner for the outtake. GooberLou and Inkedupmom were my gauges on tissues with this fic. Both wanted to smack me for making them cry when I normally don't. :D I love you all!**

**And last, but _definitely_ not least... JenRar. Always with the encouragement, always the best suggestions, and the best beta I could've asked for. And yeah, I made her cry, too, but she's forgiven me. :) Thank you so much for all that you do. Love you!**

**My readers... Thank you for every review, message on FB and Twitter, and PM. Thank you for taking the time to read. Thank you for your anger, tears, and cheers that you sent my way over these characters. **

**Finally... The outtake will be sent to F4O soon. And I'll have all the info you'll need in order to donate. If you're wondering exactly what Bella heard while she was out, you'll get that answer. ;)**

**I know the big question for me when I mark a fic complete is... What's next? Well, JenRar and I are still posting _In Pursuit_ on our shared profile, which you can find the link on mine. U.S. Marshalward is driving everyone insane! ;) That posts every Sunday, with teasers on Wednesday. As far as me personally, I'm not sure. I've got a few ideas, but nothing is jumping out at me. So all I can say is... We'll see. **

**Until next time... Mooches, Deb. :)**


	12. So Easy: The Fandom4Oklahoma outtake

**So Easy: A **_**Hard to Love**_** Outtake. ****Summary: This is Bella's POV from **_**Hard to Love**_**. Just how much did she hear? What exactly did she see while in that coma? How does Bella see her life with Edward? Rated M. Canon Couples. Edward/Bella. AH.**

**A/N… Hey guys… Couple of things. This is the outtake I wrote for Fandome4Oklahoma charity. It's completely in Bella's POV. There's a touch of sci-fi to it, because in reality, we wouldn't really know what's happening inside her head. Also – and this is just a suggestion – you might want to skim the story again…just to refresh your memory. This follows Edward's side of things from start to finish. However, you get to see a completely different take on a few parts, not to mention new memories. **

**There may be parts that will require a tissue warning. Just beware. But you know Edward's story wasn't an easy one in this fic.**

**I'll let you get to it. See me at the bottom.**

**~ooo~SE~ooo~**

**Bella's POV**

"Stay with me, Bells," I heard echo in my head.

I knew the voice, but I couldn't answer.

"This is Chief Swan. I need an ambulance out on the 101. _Now_!"

It was my dad, and he sounded scared. He _never_ sounded scared. My dad could fix anything. The lights were bright, the air cold. I felt both numb and debilitating pain, all at the same time. And the lights were fading, blurring into darkness.

**~SE~**

I sat up quickly, looking around. It was a strange sensation. I could hear voices that sounded panicked and almost angry, but the only thing around me was white – blinding, stark white. I could feel hands on me, hear machines beeping, and my stomach flip-flopped when it felt like I was being lifted and then dropped.

Another familiar voice uttered words like "contusion, concussion, MRI." Frowning, I sat up completely and looked around. To my right, the light was brighter, warmer, inviting. To my left, I saw a duller light, with blurry images racing back and forth.

A searing pain shot through me, and the lights all dimmed again.

**~SE~**

The room I was in was scary, like a padded cell without the pads...or a door. Finally pushing myself up the wall behind me, I stood completely. Frowning at the beeps coming from my left, the soft murmurs I couldn't quite hear, I suddenly felt alone. Totally alone. Turning toward the warm light, the room seemed to stretch and bend, making it look like a long hallway. It called, beckoned me.

"Don't you dare leave me now, Princess, you hear me? You've put up with me this long... I was hoping you wanted the job permanently."

Edward. I closed my eyes, fighting tears. I'd know _that_ voice anywhere. A feeling of safety and security fell over me, and I turned back to the left. My Edward sounded scared, almost to the point of panic, and I hated when he sounded that way. It'd been so long since he'd sounded that scared. I couldn't remember the last time he'd had a panic attack – maybe when we were kids?

I walked closer to the blurry visions. I couldn't touch, I couldn't move to him, but he needed me. He always needed me when he sounded like that.

"Edward," I called out, but nothing but beeps sounded from the scene in front of me.

"Bella, I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."

I sat down next to the wall, thinking if Edward was there, then everything was okay. A calm sensation wrapped around me, and I turned back to the long, bright hallway, tilting my head when it shrank back in on itself, leaving me boxed in. This whole thing felt like a dream. I'd had weird dreams before – dreams of showing up to school naked or falling off a cliff, only to wake up before hitting ground or water. I'd had dreams where I couldn't run away or get to where I needed to be quickly enough, but this was different. I could usually wake myself up, manipulate my dreams in some way, but here, I could only see the blurry scene in front of me. Even squinting, I couldn't tell what it was, but I could feel Edward's presence.

Curling into the corner of the room, I leaned as close as I could to the voice that meant everything.

"I remember the first time I held your hand, Princess. It was the first day we met, remember?" he asked so very softly.

"Yes." I giggled, shaking my head and wrapping my arms around my knees.

I closed my eyes, biting down on my bottom lip through a sharp pain that shot through my head. The bright room dimmed, and Edward's voice faded. When I opened my eyes again, my second grade classroom was right in front of me.

**~SE~**

Small desks were lined up throughout the room, rows of storage cubbies were built into the wall along the back, and my friends piled into the room. I glanced down at myself, rolling my eyes at all the pink I was wearing. Dresses were a pain back then, but my mom had insisted, considering it was my birthday. My dream was too real, making me feel like myself, yet I also felt like I was right back in the second grade again.

However, my eyes were drawn to the last person to step into the room, along with Miss Peterson, our teacher.

God, I'd forgotten just how unbelievably _sad_ Edward had looked that first day. He looked terrified and angry, with enormous green eyes that swept the room, but then hid behind the hood of his too-big, faded black sweatshirt. Miss Peterson gently pulled his hood down, smiling at him and revealing a riot of hair that stuck up everywhere.

"Class, we have a new student. This is Edward Masen. He's just moved here from Chicago," she said. Immediately, the whispers, giggles, and pointing started.

The teacher guided Edward to the empty desk a few up from mine, but in the next row over. His hair was dark, but not quite brown like my own. Another round of giggles met my ears, and I narrowed my eyes at Lauren and Jessica. They didn't like me, and from the look of it, they didn't like the new boy, either.

Grimacing, I faced the front. With every laugh that sounded through the room, with every question Miss Peterson asked him, and every book she set on his desk, the poor boy kept shrinking in on himself. It was like that sweatshirt was growing bigger.

Mike and Tyler lost interest immediately when class started, punching and kicking each other across the aisle. Jessica and Lauren whispered back and forth about what Edward looked like, the clothes he was wearing, and his old sneakers.

Angela leaned up from behind me. "Whatcha get for your birfday?" she asked.

"My mom promised me cupcakes for when I get home," I told her, amazed at how my voice was even different, but my eyes were quickly drawn back to Edward.

I was curious. I remembered being curious to the point of madness back then. Why was he so quiet? Why did he look so scared? And his hair was pretty to me. It was so different than all the other boys. Short on the sides and back, yes, but longer on top – just different. And it didn't help that he grabbed at it, gripped it.

"They're so mean," Angela whispered, frowning at Lauren and Jessica. "He's just a boy..."

I nodded in agreement, but glanced back at Edward. He was more than just a boy. He looked so lost, like a stray puppy. The adult part of me want to go over and wrap that little boy up and smother him in kisses, telling him that he would be fine, that he grew up to be the best thing that ever happened to me, to Forks, and that the little girl that was sitting in that classroom merely wanted to hear his voice. It was my birthday and I wanted him to smile, but the scene faded.

**~SE~**

The blurry picture was back, but Edward's voice was soothing, sweet as he told me my dad was there.

"I'm going to leave you with Charlie, Bella. I'm not far, I swear. Come back to me, Princess," he begged.

Tears welled up in my eyes as I looked around. "I don't know how, Edward. Don't leave me," I whispered, but my chest felt empty and the room felt cold, so I knew he was gone.

A sob ripped from me, but then the scent of Old Spice, gun oil, and peppermint gum wafted around me. I closed my eyes, letting it wrap around me like a hug. It was a combination that never changed and would forever represent one single person.

"Dad," I sighed in relief.

"Oh, Bells," he groaned. "What were you doin'?" He sighed deeply. "You gotta get better now, you hear me? I don't think you understand, baby girl. The whole world would fall apart...for so many people. Your mother...she's on her way. Edward," he groaned. "He's calling Emmett and Alice now." He sighed again. "I haven't seen that boy this scared since the first time I found bruises on him."

Frowning, I wrapped my arms around my knees.

"C'mon, Bells. You can't have lightning..."

"Without the thunder," I whispered under my breath along with him, tearing up and smiling a little at the same time. I reached out a hand, placing it on the wall in front of me, which sent a wretched spike of pain through my head. The room darkened again, taking with it the scent of my dad.

**~SE~**

"Isabella Marie," I heard, bringing me back into the lighted box I seemed to be trapped in. "I know you can hear me, sweetheart."

"Mom?"

"You just have to be strong, baby. Let your body heal," she ordered, but I could hear the grief and worry and knew there were tears in her eyes. "But don't you _dare_ leave us. We aren't ready to give you up, okay?"

"I don't think I'm going anywhere," I muttered, frowning at the four walls of my prison as I stayed curled up in the corner.

"The hard times were supposed to be over for you. You and Edward are supposed to have that happily ever after that you read about your whole life," she whispered. The blurry scene in front of me swirled and shifted. "You're so strong, my sweet Bella. You always have been."

Suddenly, I missed Edward's presence with an all-consuming ache. He wasn't there – his voice was missing. Tears welled up in my eyes. I didn't know how I was going to get out, but I knew I had to do something. Edward was hurting somewhere. He wouldn't leave me, wouldn't give up. He just _wouldn't_. It wasn't in his nature. My Edward was loyal to me almost to a fault.

I pushed myself up, glaring at the walls. I was instantly angry. I wanted out. I _needed_ out. Edward needed me. For some reason, I was trapped in this hellish nightmare and couldn't get out. I slammed my fist at the wall behind me. Pushed at the wall next to me. When I walked across the small room to kick the wall opposite me, it suddenly disappeared and I stepped into my parents' living room.

**~SE~**

"Just pick a movie, cuz," Emmett ordered, holding out about four DVDs.

I smiled at my awkward preteen cousin. He was built like Pugsly from the "Addams Family" – kinda chunky, but not fat, buzzed hair, and a smile that made me giggle at the best and worst of times. Before I'd met Edward in the second grade two years prior, I would've considered Emmett as my best friend, though I rarely saw him when he wasn't staying with his grandmother across the street.

"Where's Edward?" I asked, looking down at myself. Again, I was me, but then...not. I was nine again, with grass stains on my jeans, grubby sneakers, and tangled hair pulled up into a ponytail.

Emmett looked at me for a moment, but then shrugged. "I think he's upstairs with Carlisle. Did he fall down or somethin'? I heard them say he's hurt."

I shook my head and walked through the living room to just outside the kitchen door. Peeking around the corner, I saw my mom and her best friend, Esme, sitting at the table. Both were crying.

"I don't understand it, Nee," Esme whispered. "He's such a sweet, polite..._beautiful_ child. Who? Who could do such a thing? He's just a little boy."

"Charlie thinks it's the boyfriend," my mom whispered back. "Alone, Edward's mother just simply ignores him. When she's with that man..." She stopped, shaking her head slowly. "Apparently, he just got out of jail. Drugs."

"Well, someone needs to get him out of that house!" Esme gushed, looking angry.

"Who are they talkin' 'bout?" Emmett asked in my ear.

"Roger," I whispered back, tugging on his hand. "C'mon."

"Who's Roger?" he asked.

"Edward's mom's boyfriend," I said with a sneer. "He punishes Edward for everything."

Emmett frowned. "Your friend..." He pointed up the stairs. "That kid? Someone beats him? That's so not cool. That's child abuse. They told us what to look for in class last year. You know, if someone grabs you, hurts you, touches you in your naughty places..."

Confused, I shook my head and ran up the stairs. "Edward, where are you?" I called out, opening the spare bedroom door. "There you..."

Tears welled up in my eyes. The adult part of me saw what his bruises really were – fist and handprints. They were all over his body. Edward was shirtless, completely riddled with violence. Around his too-thin arms were perfect grownup-sized handprints. There were several large round bruises on his chest, so detailed that I could count four individual knuckles with each punch. And his eyes looked scared and wide as he told me Roger was back.

"Not if I can help it," my dad said, and he was as mad as I'd ever seen him.

Not even when I broke the remote control to the TV by stepping on it was he that mad. And I hadn't even gotten in trouble or anything. Edward had broken a glass on accident, and he... I looked back to my best friend, who was pulling his shirts on as my dad and Carlisle left the room.

"Mom will be mad that Charlie knows. She'll want to move again."

"My dad'll fix it."

"Ya think?"

"I swear." I crossed my heart because that's what best friends did when they made a promise and because my dad could fix anything.

"I don't wanna move, Bella," he whispered, taking my hand as I started to lead him into the hallway. "I like it here," he said, pointing to the floor.

"I wish you could live with us," I whispered in secret, tugging him down the stairs. "I hate it when you go home."

"Me, too," he admitted softly.

"If you lived here, I could make sure no one hurt you," I vowed with a single nod.

"Hey, Thunder and Lightning...come pick out your movie snacks!" my mom called from down the stairs.

"Okay, Mom!" I hollered, tugging Edward's hand. "C'mon, Edward. Do you want popcorn or cookies?"

"Can't we have both?" he asked, grinning as we ran into the kitchen.

**~SE~**

"No, no, no," I heard faintly, and I gazed around. My parents' house was gone and the white box was back, but my heart hurt.

"Edward?" I called out. I recognized the sound of his nightmares from a mile away. "Edward, it's okay, baby. It's just a dream."

I kicked at the blurry image in front of me, wanting nothing more than to hold him. I hated when he had nightmares; they only happened now when he was completely stressed out.

"I didn't mean it. I didn't do it on purpose," he whimpered.

"Edward!" I called, but nothing changed, which caused tears to well up in my eyes. "I want out of here!" I screamed, clawing at the wall in front of me. Edward was on the other side; I just _knew_ it.

"I'm okay, Princess," he finally said to me. "Just a dream. I didn't mean to scare you."

Sliding down the wall, I shattered into tears, burying my face in my knees. I hated it in that room. I wanted out. I wanted Edward. I missed his strong arms holding me, his amazing kisses on my lips, and his sweet, loving eyes. They were always so damn green, like the woods in the spring after a heavy rain. I missed his hand in mine, something that I hadn't been without since I was seven years old. Most people got bikes and video games for their birthday, but I was given the best birthday present ever that year: I was given Edward.

Banging my forehead to the wall next to me, I swiped at my tears, but my vision blurred and the room went dark as pain streaked through my head.

**~SE~**

I came back to the room to find myself pressed as close into the corner as I could get. Edward's voice was a soothing tone, though it was laced with sadness. I rubbed my face, frowning at the topic he'd chosen.

I closed my eyes to just listen. The fact that he was there, that his voice wrapped around me was comforting, but the fact that he was talking about the day my dad had finally removed him from his mother's home was disturbing. He _never_ talked about that day. We were eleven years old and about halfway through our sixth grade year. My dad had found him walking down the street, his face bloody and beaten.

Squeezing my eyes closed, tears leaked out anyway at the memory.

"That was a strange day," he ended. "Though the fact that you told our whole sixth grade class the next Monday that I got those bruises fighting a bear was awesome! And I swear Carlisle and Esme were saints back then. I had to have been like bringing home a feral cat..."

A small laugh escaped me. "Not feral, baby," I sighed, shaking my head. "Just a sad, broken little boy."

Though, in reality, he wasn't far from the truth. He'd gone from having no rules, no real supervision, and a house where no one cared, to a home that was disciplined and structured. And Carlisle and Esme truly cared. They'd loved Edward the minute they'd set eyes on him, which was way before they'd taken him into their home. Edward had taken quite a while to adjust to such a big change.

"I'll be back, Princess. Maybe I'll find our moms while I'm gone and bring them back with me. Hmm? Would you like that?"

My head spun to face the wall toward his voice. My chest constricted, and I tried to answer. Yes, I wanted my mother, but I didn't want him to leave. I'd grown accustomed to his presence. And now that he was leaving, I felt trapped in that damn room.

"That's my girl. I won't be long."

My breathing hitched as I placed a hand on the wall. His girl. I'd been his girl since we were sixteen, but if I really gave it some thought, I'd been his girl my whole life.

I knew when he was gone; the feeling of emptiness descended down on me like a cold blanket. Pushing myself up, I started to pace...and pace...and pace some more, until the pain in my head took over.

**~SE~**

Forks Middle School was torture. Everything changed once we left the sixth grade. We switched classes, we were expected to study more, and we had a lot more homework – and we were supposed to do all this while our bodies were going through all sorts of changes.

It was a crazy time. Suddenly, girls were looking at boys differently. Instead of cartoons posted in our lockers, it was actors and boy bands. Girls would chatter on and on about this TV show or that movie. Guys, though, were oblivious. They preferred to look, to make rude gestures, talk about sex as if they knew what the hell they were going on about. They didn't. None of us did.

Glancing down at myself, I groaned at my awkward twelve-year-old body. I was short, clumsy, and straight as a board. From the signs posted in the hallway, I could see it was just about the end of the year, because a boy/girl mixer was coming up.

"Bella," I heard beside me as I made my way to the locker. "Are you going to the mixer?"

I looked at Angela like she had three heads.

"What?" she asked, pushing up her glasses. "I just figured you and Edward...you know?"

Snorting, I shook my head.

"Mike just asked Lauren, and Tyler just asked Jessica," she stated, shrugging a shoulder, but her eyes caught sight of Ben down the hall, which caused her cheeks to bloom out into color.

I sighed. "Perfect couples, if you ask me. Especially since I turned down Mike first," I told her, smiling when she laughed, but her eyes grew wide as they locked onto something behind me.

Edward was walking down the hallway toward us. He brushed off Kimberly Winters, who'd been crushing on him forever. She looked heartbroken, but scurried off to her locker around the corner. I knew Edward better than anyone, and he probably didn't even know what he'd just done to her, much less done it intentionally. He was simply deep in his own thoughts. His mother was supposed to visit today but had called to cancel. He'd only been living with the Cullens for a little over a year. Things like girls and dances weren't exactly on his mind.

When I turned back to Angela, she glanced at me and said, "What? Aw, come _on_, Bella! You can't tell me you don't think he's cute..."

Grinning, I shrugged. I found him to be extremely cute. But I knew him. We were the best of friends. But I'd heard it all over the last year from the girls in our class and the girls in the eighth grade, too. Edward had shot up a couple of inches over last summer. Living with Carlisle and Esme now allowed him to dress in new clothes, get haircuts on a regular basis, though it still stuck up every which way. But his attitude, his cold demeanor to just about everyone around him – aside from me – made him a bad boy in the eyes of the girls in our school. All of that combined into super crushes from afar. And Edward paid attention to none of it.

"Do you ever wonder what it'd be like to kiss him?" Angela asked with a cheesy grin.

My head spun to give her a glare. "No," I stated, but the truth was different.

I'd been keeping secrets for Edward and about Edward for so long that to confide in anyone but him was alien to me. He was going to be turning thirteen in a few months, but he had grownup problems in a grownup world, so I protected him, even if it was from stupid stuff like the curiosity of what it would be like to kiss.

"Just curious," she said with a giggle, waving as she walked away.

Edward met me at my locker, dropping his backpack to his feet and leaning on the locker next to mine. My eyes narrowed on him. He looked angry and guilty at the same time.

"What?" I asked him.

"I got detention," he grumbled, his fists balling up at his sides.

"Edward..."

"What? Newton pissed me off, Bella!" he growled, pointing down the hallway. "You don't know what he was saying."

"About what? And this better be good, 'cause you know you'll be grounded now," I told him, poking his chest. "So much for our movie marathon weekend."

"You," he muttered, frowning at his sneakers.

My nostrils flared and I shook my head, waiting for him to explain, but he stayed deliberately silent.

"You gonna tell me why?"

"No."

"That bad?"

"Yes."

Grinning, I rolled my eyes, slammed my locker, and held out my hand. "C'mon," I sighed, tugging him down the hallway after he'd shouldered his backpack again. "Let's see if I can't beg you out of trouble with the Cullens," I whispered, thinking I could blame it on his stupid mother for hurting him...again. "You know, you _should_ just teach me to fight, and then you wouldn't have to do it for me."

He grinned and it was beautiful. His whole face always lit up when he smiled. "Aim for the balls, Princess. I'll show you when we get to my house."

His hand in mine caused glares from the girls we passed, and what used to be normal suddenly made my stomach do flip-flops. But neither of us let go.

**~SE~**

My eyes opened to see the wall in front of me a little clearer. But the voice I was hearing wasn't who I was expecting. Edward was absent, but in his place was his father.

"You're doing better, sweetheart. That's good. You keep that up," he said encouragingly. "Edward'll be back soon. I promise."

The still-blurry vision kind of looked like a hospital room, but it was the form that was milling around the blob in the middle that my eyes locked on. Carlisle's voice continued to calm and soothe.

I heard words like "swelling, brain stem, accident, and antibiotics." Frowning, I finally realized where I was. It was me in the hospital. It was me in the bed. But I didn't know why. I didn't remember being hurt. Was I trapped in my own mind? Or was this whole thing a dream – a dream I couldn't escape?

"Carlisle!" I called, pounding on the wall in front of me. "I'm here."

"Easy," he soothed again. "There's someone here to see you, Bella," he told me. "I think Angela is waiting outside for you."

My brow furrowed, but I sat down in my usual corner. "I want Edward," I murmured, feeling like a pouting child, but it was the truth. Edward's voice brought the comfort of home, the feeling of being completely taken care of and loved.

The form I'd figured out was Carlisle sat down next to the bed. He leaned over, and I rubbed the spot in the middle of my forehead where I felt his kiss press to it.

"I've always been in awe of you, Bella," he admitted softly. "I don't know how you did it. I don't know where you found the patience, the determination, the...unconditional love you have for my son. All I know is that without you, I'm not sure he'd be the man he is today. So I'm _begging_ you, sweetheart. Fight for him one more time. We've had this conversation before, and I'm sorry to ask it of you again, but you _must_ fight. I'm afraid he won't survive the loss of you. Not now. Not when you both have come so damn far."

Tears streamed down my face, and my breathing was hitched as I cried. The conversation he was talking about was the hardest thing I'd ever gone through when it came to Edward. Had it not been for the man that was speaking right at that moment, I would've given up ever having Edward in my life.

A machine beeped from inside the foggy room, pain shot through my head, and my eyes closed.

**~SE~**

"Edward! Wait up!" I called, racing through the parking lot of the high school to catch up with him.

His legs were way longer than mine now. He was fourteen, with long limbs and even bigger hands and feet. He'd even started shaving, though it wasn't very often.

I splashed awkwardly through a few shallow puddles to catch up with him.

Dark, stormy green eyes locked onto me, but he waited like I'd asked. "It's gonna pour, Bella. Can't you hurry?"

Frowning at him, I nodded and practically busted my ass to keep up with him. "Yeah, yeah...let's go."

We walked in silence for a moment, but I looked up at him. He was hurting. It was all in the way he carried himself. He tugged his hood up over his head, hiding his face from me.

"Hey," I said, nudging him. "You okay?"

"Such bullshit," he muttered, sighing deeply. "Everyone will know now. This name change thing was a fucking mistake."

Grimacing, I went quiet again. The Cullens had waited until we changed from Forks Middle School to Forks High before changing Edward's name from Masen to Cullen. It was ridiculous to even think it would help. The waiting hadn't done anything to stave off the curious questions that came from it. Especially when just about every teacher in every class called role the first day of ninth grade.

Mike and Tyler had gone as far as asking Edward if he'd gotten married, though Lauren was quick to remind them both that if Edward had gotten married, his last name would've been Swan. That had almost been the end of Newton. It had taken all I had to stop Edward from annihilating him.

"Hey," I said, coming to a stop and tugging his sleeve to stop with me. "They don't know..._anything_, Edward. They've made stuff up, passed around rumors, but they don't know the whole story. Some of those dumbasses can barely remember their own name, much less how long you've been living with Carlisle and Esme. And they definitely don't know why."

"You do," he stated, glancing down at his sneakers.

When his eyes met mine, I crossed my heart, silently vowing that his secret was safe.

He swallowed nervously and nodded. When fat drops of rain started to splatter down on us, he scowled. "I knew you'd get me caught in this shit..."

"Quit snapping at me, Edward!" I said through gritted teeth. "You're not made of sugar. Trust me. You won't melt!"

"Sorry," he shot back.

He grabbed my hand and tugged me up the sidewalk, quickly letting us into his house before the sky opened up. We walked into the house, kicking off our sneakers at the front door. I shot Esme a wave, but Edward ignored her altogether, trudging up the stairs. He slammed his bedroom door, turned on the stereo, and dropped himself down onto his bed.

I turned the music down, kicking his sock-covered foot. "You're still mad at them?" I asked him.

"They're making me see a shrink, Princess. Like I'm fucking crazy or somethin'!" He sat up, glaring at me.

"Is it that bad?"

"The guy's an asshole."

I studied his face for a moment, but let it go. It had been this way all summer. Edward would get cranky, snap at everyone, and then back away. He'd apologize, but would do it all over again a week or two later. I was tired of fighting with him. It hurt when he snapped at me, especially when all I wanted was to see my friend happy. It didn't help that when he was sweet, I wanted so much more than friendship.

I'd overheard my mom and Esme talking just after the adoption had gone through. Edward was miserable. His mother had simply signed the papers and left him. Esme told my mom that Edward most likely had been calling her bluff, using the threat of adoption to get Elizabeth Masen away from Roger. It had blown up in his face. She'd signed, taken the payment Carlisle offered, and walked out the door. His mother had chosen that monster over her son.

"Okay," I sighed in surrender, grabbing up our backpacks. "Well, we need to start that history paper, so come on. Let's get started."

"I'll do it later," he grumbled, waving a hand at me as he fell back onto his bed.

"Edward, it's due tomorrow."

"I _said_ later!" he snapped, sitting back up. "Jesus, Bella...you think you could leave me alone for five seconds?!"

Slamming his bag into his lap and making him grunt, I finally lost my patience. "Yeah, Edward, I can. You want to be an ass? You're on your own. I haven't done anything wrong to you, but you keep taking this shit out on me. I can't do it anymore!"

I hoisted my backpack onto my shoulder, half-expecting him to call out for me, but he didn't. I made it down the stairs and out the front doors before the tears started, and they were as heavy as the rain falling down outside.

A warm hand landed on my shoulder, and I glanced up to see Carlisle standing there, handing me my sneakers. "Let me take you home, sweetheart. You shouldn't walk in this. You'll catch cold."

Sniffling, I nodded and allowed him to drive me home. When he pulled into my driveway, Carlisle put the car in park and cupped my chin, turning me to face him.

"He doesn't mean it," he stated sadly, wiping my tears away.

"I know...but it hurts."

"It's not you, it's—"

"It's _her_. I know, Carlisle. I understand, but..." I shrugged a shoulder, looking down as my hands twisted together around my backpack strap.

He cupped my chin again. "I know this is hard, but it's only going to get worse before it gets better, Bella. He's...so angry. He feels abandoned by his own mother, he's fighting everything inside himself right now, and he's been kicked so often that he feels it's coming from everyone." He took a deep breath and shook his head. "He's testing us. He's pushing us away to see who'll still be there when he's ready to come back. Does that make sense?"

I hiccuped a sob and nodded. "I just want my friend back. He promised me," I rambled, but my voice trailed off.

"Eventually, he'll remember that promise, Bella. You have to be strong. You have to fight for your friendship. But sweetheart, you're right...he shouldn't talk to you that way. And of all of us, you may be the one that brings him around. He needs you, whether he's willing to accept that right now or not. One day, he'll see it."

Nodding, I thanked him for the ride home.

I'd made it all the way up to my room before the tears started again, and I'd wondered at the time how long I'd have to wait, how long I had to hold on for Edward.

For the longest time, I'd thought Edward would come to me, climb the tree outside my window, and apologize for his behavior, for the mean things he'd said, but he'd stayed away. He'd closed off himself to just about everyone. He rarely spoke those days, but I'd felt his eyes on me all the time.

I'd still watched him, protected him, loved him, but it was from a distance. And he probably never knew it. I'd watched him through tears that Angela and my mother soothed away, because not only had I loved him, but I'd simply missed my friend. I'd guarded over him at school while looking over the tops of books about parents with addiction problems, which had been given to me in secret by Esme. And every once in a while, I'd see Carlisle, who kept chanting the mantra, "Stay strong. Fight, sweetheart. He misses you, but he's not ready." I'd watched Edward with a breaking heart as he'd trudged through almost a year of school alone. Completely and utterly alone.

His parents' worst fear was that he'd start taking drugs or drinking, maybe even start fooling around with girls, but Edward just...was. He'd go to school and then go home. It wasn't until Elizabeth died that I'd finally bridged the gap that he'd put between us, and Carlisle had been so right. When it was all said and done, Edward had finally found out who was there for him when he needed us. His parents and mine, Emmett, and myself – we'd all stood up to Roger that day.

But when he'd pulled himself through my window the night of his mother's funeral, unleashing all the hurt he'd ever felt, I knew he'd changed. In some ways, Elizabeth's death had set him free. I'd seen it on his face as he fell asleep in my beanbag, when I'd draped a blanket over him and watched him sleep. I didn't know what had made me happier...that Elizabeth's hold over him was gone, or that I had my friend back.

**~SE~**

I came up out of that dream with tears still coursing down my face. I sighed in complete and utter relief when Edward's voice sounded around me. Glancing up, I could barely make out his form, but I could see the stark white of the walls and the dark blue of his jeans. I leaned in closer, wishing we were home and cuddled together on our couch as he talked about our first kiss.

"You know what the best part was, Princess? It was that nothing changed...it only got better. And we got really good at kissing. Though, the first time we kissed in the school parking lot caused just about the entire student body to explode in shock."

I giggled when he laughed to himself. It was a beautiful sound, and I didn't realized how much I'd missed it. I smirked toward the foggy wall, shaking my head.

"That was the very best decision I ever made...kissing you, I mean."

"We did more than just kiss after that, Edward Cullen," I muttered under my breath. "You used to set my soul on fire. You still do..."

Reaching up, I pushed on the wall, wishing like all hell I could just break it down to get to him. Much to my utter amazement, it gave a little, but it held fast, staying cruelly between Edward and me. I pushed harder, but the pain in my head made my tiny prison cell swirl.

**~SE~**

Observing my surroundings, I recognized the World History class instantly. From the maps on the wall, to the globe in the far corner, to the poster of Abraham Lincoln, it was definitely Mr. Kessler's class. Spinning my head to the left, I knew I'd find Edward sitting right next to me. Tenth grade. We were sixteen. And I was so over-the-moon for him that it was ridiculous.

We'd both been awkward and fidgety that morning when he picked me up for school, which was silly, because we'd spent the entire weekend together after Liquid Lauren's party. But we'd been busted by my mother as we kissed in the hallway, which had led to the longest, most embarrassing conversation I'd ever sat through in my entire life. They'd scared the ever-loving shit out of us, talking about diseases, pregnancy, and birth control. And my God, the new rules we had to abide by now.

My eyes slid to my backpack, where a packet of the pills already resided. Apparently, having a doctor as a close friend paid off for my parents.

Just thinking about kissing Edward made my face heat up and gaze around the room. It felt like a neon sign on my forehead. I wanted to do it again. I wanted it more than I was even able to think about, but this change in our relationship was strange.

Edward shifted, and even though I knew this was a dream, he was driving me crazy. I knew I was living with the man next to me, but to see his hand wrapped around a pencil taking notes, to see his thighs flex as he sank lower in his desk, and to see his long eyelashes that framed sweet green eyes, I felt every bit of my teenage hormones crash into me. My eyes followed his left hand as it grasped at his hair, only to fall right back down onto the desk. It was the same head of hair I'd finally been able to sink my fingers into; I already missed the feel of it.

The bell rang, signaling the end of the day and causing me to just about jump clean out of my own skin. I dropped my book back into my bag and slung my backpack over my shoulder. Mike and Tyler tossed a football over the heads of those of us walking down the hallway, yet Edward stayed quiet. I noted Jessica's hungry stare at him, but Lauren still looked pissed off.

We stopped at our lockers, and I leaned on the one next to Edward's. "Liquid Lauren's mad at you, I think."

He grinned, giving me a quick glance as he rummaged in his messy locker. "Well, I'm pretty sure she's never been told no before."

"Oh, I _know_ she's never been told no before," I said with a laugh, shaking my head. "She tried to convince a locker room full of girls today that you're gay."

Edward snorted, rolling his eyes, and slammed his locker, guiding me out of the hall. "That must've gone over like a lead balloon with you..."

I shrugged, smirking up at him. "No one believed her, and Angela and I merely laughed at her, which only pissed her off more."

"Does Angela know?"

I nodded, looking down at my sneakers. "Yeah, I told her we kissed."

"Is that all she knows?" he asked with a chuckle once we made it to his car.

My face heated when I glared up at him, leaning on the passenger side door. "No, I may have mentioned something about...being...together...now," I rambled, my speech tapering off at the end. My eyes drifted away from him a little over the parking lot, because I couldn't quite look at him.

"I really want that, Princess," he whispered. "Don't you?"

Nodding fervently, I stayed quiet. He'd always called me Princess, even when we were kids. He'd started it teasingly when I kept reading stories about heroes and castles and happily ever afters. Now he said it with a different tone to it.

When I finally looked him in the eye, I saw that sweet boy I'd always known, the one that was scared and nervous. Never mind that he was taller, more muscular, already showing a five o'clock shadow. He was still my best friend, and I knew I could tell him anything.

"I really want that, too, Edward," I admitted softly. "And I want to kiss you again."

His smile was only for me. In fact, I'd forgotten where we were – the middle of the school parking lot – so the banging of car doors, the squeals, laughter, and chatter, they all melted away when his lips met mine. And I felt those lips everywhere. They made my heart sputter, my knees weak, and my hands grip the front of his T-shirt to tug him closer, if only to keep myself from falling.

When he pulled away, both of us were breathing heavy. His eyes were still closed as he murmured, "I've wanted that forever."

"How long?"

He grinned and shrugged, his cheeks turning a little pink as his forehead rested against mine. "The first time?" he asked, and I nodded vehemently. "The day of my mom's funeral...in your room that night..."

My brow furrowed, but I pulled his lips back to mine. I hummed against his lips, savoring him, but a loud laugh from my cousin across the parking lot broke us apart. I was pretty sure he bellowed something close to, "It's about damn time."

I smiled, but my eyes spied the area around us. The whole school seemed to have come to a standstill. I couldn't imagine what they were thinking, because Edward and I defended our friendship almost on a daily basis, but now it was really obvious that there was more.

"We should go," I giggled, nudging him. "We have homework...and you have an appointment first."

He grimaced, but nodded, reaching for my hand. He hated his therapy sessions, but he tolerated them. Honestly, they were helping, but I'd never tell him that.

As he opened the car door for me, I had to fight my laugh, because we were being stared down by a great many people. The most shocked was Liquid Lauren, along with Jessica. As usual, Edward paid them no attention.

Once we were in the privacy of his Volvo, he turned to me. "Come with me to my appointment. We'll tell them we're stopping at the library on the way back."

Giggling, I cupped his face. "We'd be breaking rules, Edward," I reminded him.

His smile was wicked and evil, something that looked really good on him. "They _never_ said anything about my car, Princess..."

Biting my bottom lip, I nodded and smiled, but I closed my eyes when he kissed me one more time.

**~SE~**

Opening my eyes again, I saw I was standing in the middle of my white prison cell once again. Tears welled up in my eyes. I hurried across the room to the wall that was just a touch clearer. I couldn't feel Edward's presence, but my mother's voice carried through. It was like looking at something underwater. I could tell what things were, where people were, but it was distorted.

My mother was quiet, except for the song she was humming. It was the song she'd hum to calm me when I was a baby. It was the same song she'd hum to Edward when he was young and had woken up at our house from a nightmare. He told me once that he liked it because she'd hold him, rock him until he fell back asleep. Back then, he'd been starved for affection.

Time was strange. I waited and waited for Edward to return, but he didn't. I paced, I sat, I paced again. I felt lost without him there. As much as my mother's voice and presence in the room was fine, I wanted him there. I pushed on what seemed to be a window into another room, but it simply bowed and snapped right back. I kicked it, punched it, finally calling out for him.

Beeps resounded from the other side of the smoky glass, and I felt my mother's kiss on my forehead.

"I'm here, baby, and Edward's coming. He needed some rest. We kinda ganged up on him," she whispered, and I could feel her lips on my skin. "He loves you too much, I think. He'd waste away waiting for you."

Frowning, I backed away from the wall, tears blurring my sight. "Oh, Edward...I'm sorry," I whispered to the empty room. My back met the opposite wall, and I slid down to the floor. I couldn't imagine how bad he was if our parents had gotten together. Did he have a panic attack? Was I that sick? Was he giving up on me? What did I miss when I left the confines of this godforsaken room?

As if my mother knew what I was thinking, she soothingly said, "Don't you worry, baby. It won't be long now, okay?"

"'Kay," I answered her uselessly.

"We love you both, so we have to watch over the two of you," she said with a smile to her tone.

I cracked a small smile, closing my eyes for a moment. I don't know how long I sat that way. My mother's soft snores filled the room, and in a weird way, it kept me from going crazy. I'd glance up at the frosted window, see nothing had changed, and close my eyes again. I grew tired, but restless.

By the time I opened them once more, I smiled, scrambling up from my spot on the floor to rush to the window. Not only was the scene in front of me clearer, but I could even make out that Edward was sitting next to me. His voice was soft and reverent as he spoke. His crazy hair was sticking up in several directions, making me want to rake my fingers through it to try to tame it. His lean body was bent over me, his elbows resting on the bed. But I could feel the kisses to my fingers as he talked.

"I love you, Princess," he said so sweetly.

"I love you, too, Edward. So much," I breathed against the glass, pushing on it, but it fought against me.

"Did you know that you were the first person I ever uttered those words to? They were so easy to say to you because I honestly think you were the first person to show me what they meant. You'd been showing me our whole lives, so by the time I'd completely handed you my heart, I never doubted a thing."

Reaching up, I traced his beautiful, strong profile with my finger over the glass. "Yeah, baby, I knew that," I whispered, swallowing the lump in my throat. "You never had to tell me...I just knew."

I sank to my knees when he started talking about the first time we'd said we loved each other, the first time we'd made love. He spoke with such awe and reverence and respect that it took my breath away. My forehead thumped to the foggy glass in front of me.

He was right. We'd held off on the one big thing for the longest time. It was partly me, but the other part was him. We couldn't find the courage to take that next step...until that night. There were always parents around, or one of us wasn't ready, or something. But the very second he told me he loved me back, I knew I couldn't hold back any longer. And it had been beautiful and sweet and awkward. It had been so...us.

"My dad said that when you wake up, it's possible you won't remember some things. I hope he's wrong, Princess. I hope you never forget that it was you that taught me what love is. I'm not sure I ever thanked you for that, either."

I pushed hard on the frosted glass in front of me, wanting so badly to hold him, kiss him, crawl into his lap and wrap myself around him. He never saw himself the right way. I blamed his mother for filling his head with nonsense and bullshit about how he was hard to love. He was so easy to love. He was loyal and kind, sweet and funny, and so very honest. And that didn't even cover how handsome he was, with a smile that could melt my heart _and_ my underwear, soulful green eyes that saw through to my very soul, and strong arms that could hug away the worst days or hold me as he made love to me.

The window bowed out in a large arc. I wanted – no, needed – to tell him that _every time_ we made love, it felt just like the first time, that it was more than sex. It was everything to me, because he made me feel beautiful and so very loved. Always. The window snapped cruelly back at me, bringing a pain through my head that made the room fade away.

**~SE~**

My bedroom at my parents' house was a little girl's pink dream but it never changed, even when I was too old for pink. It also was a shrine to my long friendship with Edward, which had morphed into more. There were movie and concert stubs, pictures, clothes of his that I'd stolen, dried corsages from prom and homecoming, even small love notes he'd left for me in my room, my notebooks, and my locker.

I found myself sitting on my full-sized bed, and the acceptance letter in my lap screamed how old I was. The logo for the University of Washington was a blatant reminder that it was the last year of high school. It had been a rather loud discussion about colleges. Edward and I had insisted on applying to the same schools, but our parents were worried. I saw their point; they thought our relationship wouldn't last, that it would fade over time, that being together for everything wasn't healthy. As an adult, I knew they had a point, but it just wasn't how Edward and I worked.

The house was quiet, except for the radio that played softly on my nightstand. Dad was working the graveyard shift to cover for one of his officers. My mom was visiting her sister.

A faint scratching, a whispered curse, and the soft screech of my window being opened made me roll my eyes, but I smirked when Edward's tall, lean body unfolded itself through my window.

"Home alone, baby," I sang, shaking my head. "You coulda used the door."

He chuckled, looking so good in a heather gray T-shirt and dark blue jeans as he walked across my room to sit down in front of me. "I wasn't sure, and I kinda snuck out."

My gaze shot to his face. He looked tired, yet a little proud.

"What happened?" I asked, setting my stuff aside and scooting forward.

He sniffed and shrugged one shoulder. "Panic attack."

"Oh, Edward. Why?" I asked, holding his face in my hands.

He reached into his back pocket and pulled out an envelope, tossing it down on top of mine. They matched. We'd both been accepted to UW. We locked gazes for a moment, but my heart was in my throat.

"I thought... I mean..." I frowned, glancing between our envelopes and his nervous face. "Isn't this what we wanted?" My voice was barely a whisper, but he heard me.

"Yes!" he suddenly gushed, getting up and starting to pace. "Hell, yes, Princess! But then... my parents started talking about other schools and options. They absolutely refuse to let us live together. And then, they asked what if you and I don't last...and I couldn't... I didn't want to hear it, Bella. They don't get it!"

"Edward, sit, please," I told him calmly. The last thing I needed was to have him panic again. I patted the bed in front of me, and he did as I asked. "My parents basically said the same thing. I don't think they're exactly against us going to college together; I think they're just trying to save us from what they _think_ will happen."

"They think we'll break up...grow apart and meet other people," he mumbled, looking pained at the prospect.

"Yeah."

The room was eerily silent, aside from my stereo, which I leaned over and turned off. I gazed back to Edward. He was toying with a string of my pajama pants, twisting it around his long finger.

Deep, sea green eyes locked with mine, framed by long eyelashes that made me jealous most days. "Why does the thought of that happening _hurt so damn much_?" he asked softly, his brow wrinkling. "I don't want that, Bella."

"Me, either."

"I get it, Princess," he sighed with disdain, his face contorting into an adorable grimace. "I'm not stupid. I know what they're saying. I suppose that one day, it's possible for you to—"

"Don't you dare," I interrupted him, shaking my head. "The same could be said for you, Edward." I frowned.

He looked at me like I was crazy. "Baby, I don't even like it when Tracy at the diner flirts with me. It makes me uncomfortable."

Grinning, I shook my head. "That may not always be the case. Okay, maybe not Tracy, but another girl one day..." He scoffed, but otherwise stayed quiet when I took a deep breath and let it out. I held up the letters proudly. "We got what we wanted," I declared with a smile. "We can pull the 'we're adults now' card on our parents, stating that we can make our own decisions. Or...we can just...do what we've always done."

"Which is?" he prompted, wearing a sexy smirk.

"Which is... Stick together, tough it out. They'll have their rules, guidelines, restrictions. I've already heard them being discussed. We'll live, Edward," I told him, shrugging a shoulder. "But we'll be together. For as long as we want to be. And don't let my parents fool you," I scolded, shaking a finger at him. "They met their first year of college and have been together ever since. They can't really say much."

Edward grinned, breaking out into an adorable chuckle. He grabbed my finger and kissed the tip of it. "I know," he sighed, still smiling. "I just...I know it's not what everyone is doing. And I know we're...different, but...I don't want to be without you. I love you."

"I love you, too, baby," I whispered, leaning in to kiss him, but then tugged and pulled at him until he pressed me back into my pillow. The weight of him settling between my legs was comforting and grounded me like nothing else. I felt protected and cherished, especially when he gazed down at me the way he was right then. "Besides," I whispered, leaning up to brush my lips across his, "rules were made to be broken, Edward Cullen. We're breaking them right now."

"Oh, yeah," he sang sexily as he leaned into kiss my neck, though I could feel his smile against my skin. "Are we really alone?" he asked, placing random kisses to the spot behind my ear that made my breathing falter.

"Yes..."

"Can I have you?"

"Please," I begged, grasping at the hem of his shirt, suddenly desperate to feel his skin on mine.

Clothes were quickly discarded, kisses dropped to each newly revealed section of skin. We'd been making love for well over a year, but it never, ever got old. Edward knew exactly where to touch me, kiss me, to make my toes curl and my eyes roll back. He loved every inch of me. Some things we'd discovered on our own; some things he'd admitted to seeing through Emmett's porn collection that he'd inherited when my cousin joined the Army.

He brought me to the brink of insanity with just his mouth, something that had made me nervous at first, but he was so good at it that I usually came seeing stars. And this time was no different. He crawled back up my body, staring down at me, just barely inside me.

"I mean it, Princess," he whispered, nuzzling my nose with his own, only to brush a soft kiss on my lips. "I don't want to lose this, us, anything. The thought scares me."

"Me, too, but I love you," I breathed, tears welling up in my eyes at his sweet, perfect honesty. "I'm certain that won't ever change."

He kissed me hard, deep, almost possessively, as we became one. Pressing his forehead to mine, he said, "Love you, Bella."

**~SE~**

My lighted prison cell zoomed back into focus, and I gasped a heavy breath, shaking my head to clear it. Every inch of my skin felt like it was on fire, but that last memory had felt all too real. I rubbed my face, glancing up to find that the window into my hospital room was crystal clear...and I was alone.

Standing up from my spot on the far wall, I walked over to take in the whole scene. My brow furrowed at how still I was. There was a clear plastic tube wrapped beneath my nose, an IV taped to my inner arm, and the soft beeps coming from beside me matched the pounding of my heart. I didn't look hurt. I didn't look sick. I simply looked to be asleep.

A smile curled the corners of my mouth when a tall, lean, handsome thing walked into the room like he owned it. His clothes were a little wrinkled, his hair was sticking up in every direction, and his jeans were drooping just enough that the waistband of his boxer-briefs were peeking up, but he bent over me and gave my forehead a long, slow kiss.

"Hey, Princess. Guess who's here," he whispered, almost like he was revealing a secret, but his eyes looked so damn tired.

"You. That's all that matters," I mumbled belligerently, poking at the window in front of me. Instead of the harsh glass that I'd become used to, it was soft, pliant, like plastic wrap. I pushed, poked, and shoved at it again, but despite its softer feel, it was just as tenacious as ever.

When the clear window settled right back into its original place, I noticed who Edward had brought into the room with him. Alice...and Jasper, the latter hanging just on the outskirts of the room. I couldn't imagine how they'd gotten there. They'd been in Paris the last time we'd talked on the phone.

Edward's face looked heartbroken when a sob escaped our friend. I had to smile at that. Edward's patience with Alice was usually pretty limited, and it was all due to how Alice and I hadn't gotten along in the beginning. I was fiercely protective of him, and he of me, and Alice didn't understand it. She didn't understand Edward's and my friendship, our almost two-year relationship, and she saw what she wanted to see in how Edward treated me. When she saw us spend most of our free time together, she saw ugly possessiveness. When he would watch over me in public, she saw a demanding, controlling boyfriend. Edward wasn't those things. He hadn't been...ever.

But what Edward didn't know was that Alice had left that type of boyfriend behind in Mississippi. I'd been sworn to secrecy ages ago. It embarrassed Alice that she compared Royce to Edward, when it was so obvious that they were completely and totally different men.

Edward stepped out of the room, taking Jasper with him, and Alice rushed forward to sit on the edge of my bed.

"Jesus, B, what happened?" she asked softly. "I'm sorry it took us so long. The weather, and then Chicago and snow... Jasper tried, but we couldn't drive out either...so we...waited. You have to get better. You just have to come back soon." She sniffled, speaking in the rapid pace she always did.

I shook my head, sitting down in the corner to watch her. It always took me a bit to get used to her frantic ways. She was a hyper thing, talking so fast, asking rapid-fire questions that I could barely answer.

"You're my best friend," she sniffled, shaking her head slowly. "I don't... I can't... I'm not sure I can deal if something happens to you."

My head gave a dull throb, but I squeezed my eyes closed. My prison cell held on, though it swayed a little in my vision. I glanced up when Alice left the room, but her spot was taken by Jasper, which made me smile. He was always so sweet, so calm, and had become an amazing friend to Edward.

I felt his gentle kiss on my forehead.

"Hey, darlin'," he sighed softly. "I need you to come back now, you hear me? I'm pretty sure Ed needs you too much. You two are halves of the same whole. Soulmates. I never believed in that shit until I met the two of you...and then Alice. So if you can hear me, Bella, then you open up those pretty eyes soon. Don't do it for me, or Alice...or even Edward. Do it for you. You're not done here."

"Jazz, I don't know how!" I cried through gritted teeth, punching at the window in front of me. It stretched again, only to snap right back.

He stood up and left the room.

Moments later, I giggled and sniffled a bit when Emmett's large form loomed over me.

"Aw, Bells...you're gonna kick my ass, but I don't have a choice. I gotta pay the boys...and the delivery guy. Pray I don't fuck up."

Grinning, I shook my head, but the dull throb that had started slowly sharpened into something so harsh that everything around me went black.

**~SE~**

"I don't wanna go in," I whined, licking, kissing, and nipping at Edward's lips. I giggled when he smiled against my mouth. "I don't."

"It's your room, Princess," he whispered, pressing his forehead to mine. "Believe me, I wish we could live together, but we've just got to get through this last year."

I pouted, which earned me another deep, sweet, toe-curling kiss. "I know."

I glanced up the hallway of my dorm, sighing in frustration. Edward and I had spent most of the weekend together. And Jasper had remained absent out of their shared room since we'd finally introduced him to Alice the past Friday night, which was a good thing, considering Edward kept me in a constant state of undressed most of the time. It was now Monday night, and classes resumed again the next day. I just wasn't ready to face Alice again.

Soulful, comforting green eyes locked gazes with me. "Tell her, baby. I really don't mind. Maybe it'll explain a few things. I don't know," he suggested, but he shrugged one shoulder. "Maybe it'll at least tone down the...animosity between you. You have to get along for at least the rest of the year."

"It feels wrong," I grumped, but nodded. "But...okay. If you say so..."

"It's not a betrayal if I'm saying it's okay, Bella." He chuckled softly, dropping a kiss to my forehead. "It's my life. It's a part of me. I've had to come to grips with that."

I wanted to tell him it was a part of me too, but I kept it to myself. Maybe telling Alice about Edward's past would help, but it felt wrong to expose him like that, especially since I'd been keeping it a secret our whole lives. It was private and personal, and I felt a little possessive of it.

Edward took a deep breath and smiled softly, sweetly. "Try, Princess. If not, just...I don't know. Ignore her from this point on."

I nodded again and kissed his lips, saying, "Love you."

"Love you, too, baby."

With one last kiss, I turned and entered my dorm room, closing the door behind me. The room was quiet, but not empty. Alice was perched on her bed, notes and books scattered around her. Despite her party-minded personality, she did actually have to study occasionally.

"Hey," I murmured, walking to my own side of the room.

"Hey."

She remained pretty quiet as I put my things away, changed clothes, and pulled out my own books to work on the paper that was due soon. When I fell down in my desk chair, she shifted a little.

"Hey, Bella...I..." She huffed, frowning down at the pen in her hand. "I wanted to thank you...for Friday night. You didn't have to put up with..." She paused, shaking her head, but went on. "Look, I owe you an apology."

My eyes shot across the room to glare at her, but she seemed sincere...and nervous.

"Jasper," she said, snorting once. "He was...well, he was right."

"About what?"

She smirked, locking gazes with me. "Almost everything he said in here."

My eyebrows shot up, but I stayed quiet.

"My parents own a huge farm in Mississippi," she started, grimacing a little. "The closest neighbor is five miles away, but they own another really large farm. I've been told since I was thirteen that I'm marrying the neighbor's son." She looked up at me. "Royce is – was – my boyfriend. I did what my parents told me. I dated him, figuring that it was the way things were, the way they had to be. He's possessive and rude, pompous and cruel. He cheated on me many times throughout high school. He put a boy in the hospital for working on a science project with me." She spoke quietly, but her eyes were sad. "When I started applying for college, everyone told me to stay in the South, to pick something close, or don't go at all. I applied everywhere I could – from here to California, to New York and Maine. When I was accepted here, I took it, hiding the rest of my acceptance letters."

She smiled evilly when I snorted.

Alice set her books aside and got up to pace. "Royce flipped out, threatened me about coming here, but I came anyway, so it was over. My parents...well, my dad... He wanted me to go, so he overrode my mother and allowed me to come here. I talk to him a little, but my mother won't speak to me."

Grimacing, I gazed up at her.

"I'm sorry," she said firmly. "You and Edward...you're not like that. I see it now. Jasper made me watch the two of you all Friday night, and... I see it. And I saw shit all wrong. I saw Royce, when I should've seen Edward." Tears welled up in her eyes.

I took a deep breath, deciding to follow Edward's advice and tell her about him. So I did. I told her about meeting him at seven, about his mother, Roger, and the bruises. I told her about my dad, that Edward hadn't been exaggerating when he'd explained that my father had saved his life. I believed that he had. Wholeheartedly. I even told her about Carlisle and Esme and how they'd stepped in as the best parents Edward could've asked for. And when I told her about Elizabeth, her face turned dark and angry.

"And here I was accusing him of being abusive?" Alice squeaked in shock, sobbing when I nodded slowly.

"Edward is far from abusive, Alice. If anything, he absolutely tries his damnedest to be the opposite of his mother. He refuses to even drink," I explained.

"Oh fuck...oh Jesus, Bella... You can't tell him. Please don't tell him. I'm sorry! I didn't mean it. I wasn't..." Her words rushed out of her just as quickly as her legs carried her to my side. "Please, Bella... You're the only one I've ever told."

I wanted to demand that she apologize to Edward, but I merely nodded, seeing the desperation on her face. Knowing how Edward used to feel about people knowing his past, his homelife with his mother, I understood how Alice didn't want people to know about Royce, who sounded like a real asshole.

Alice stepped into the bathroom and blew her nose, coming back into the room looking the worse for wear. But she took a deep breath and let it out. "Jasper was right about something else, too," she admitted softly.

"What was that?" I asked, fighting my smile, because Jasper was one of the most interesting people I'd ever met.

"I don't have a lot of friends back home," she stated, swallowing thickly. "Royce saw to that, and I... I really wanted us as friends, Bella. It was why I kept inviting you out, trying to get you to go to parties with me."

"Alice," I groaned, shaking my head. "Edward doesn't drink, and neither do I...out of respect for him. So parties are kinda...a waste of time."

"I know, I know...I see that now," she gushed, nodding profusely. "Can we at least...try?"

I let out a long breath, studying her face. "Yeah, Alice, we can try."

**~SE~**

I came back to my little white box slowly, the sound of Edward's voice so very clear. He sounded exhausted and heartbroken, but excited at the same time.

"...Bella, it's been the best year of our lives! I'm not sure I've ever felt as..._whole_ as I have this past year. My job is great, the kids are amazing, and you've fucking flourished working for Emmett. And we get to go to bed together every night just like you wanted. I can't imagine our lives any other way, baby."

Tears spilled down my cheeks at the emotion that caused his voice to falter. "Oh, Edward," I sobbed, standing up and pressing as hard as I could on the window. The plastic feel of it seemed thinner, weaker.

"It's why I just..._knew_ it was time to take us to the next level. I'm so ready, Bella, and I need you to wake up. I miss you so much..."

Suddenly, I couldn't take it any longer. I clawed, pushed, and wrestled with the window in front of me. My fingers finally grasped hold of the plastic, and it tore with a wretched sound and a gush of wind. Instead of stepping through to the room like I thought I would, I was sucked into a tunnel of lights, sounds, and memories. They flashed quickly before my eyes...

...

"_Edward, you like cupcakes?" I asked the new boy, holding out my hand._

_He nodded, licking his lips. His eyes were wide when he took my hand. It was warm, a little rough, but it fit in mine just right._

"_Come on. I'll get you one. My mom made them for me."_

…

"_Does it hurt?"_

"_Not as bad as yesterday. Mom will be mad that Charlie knows. She'll want to move again."_

"_My dad'll fix it."_

"_Ya think?"_

"_I swear."_

…

"_Good!" I growled, giving Edward's mom a nasty look through the window of the Cullens' living room. "Now we know you're staying," I told him, holding out my hand. "And we have homework."_

_He blinked up at me, nodded, and took my hand, even though his was still shaking. "'Kay, Princess."_

"_You'll be okay, Edward. I promise," I swore, crossing my heart._

…

_My eyes were wide when Edward suddenly shot up from his seat by his mother's grave, but when I saw who he was aiming for, I immediately followed._

_Roger. He didn't look like the monster I remembered. He looked like a drunk. He looked sad and overweight and terrified as a very tall Edward shoved him. Hard._

_Emmett followed right after me, and I couldn't help but glare at the man that had hurt my best friend for so long. He'd made him bleed and cry and feel sad. He'd taken away Edward's only family. And I hated him for it. But Edward, despite how angry he was, was shaking slightly beside me. So, gently, I slid my hand into his, hoping that I could give him something, some bit of strength._

…

"_Princess?"_

"_Hmm?"_

"_If I kissed you, would you knee me in the balls?"_

_I could only shake my head no. I had no words, and I knew he was testing me. But I'd wanted to kiss him for so long that to use my voice would've ruined everything. He smelled like his car and laundry soap and the cologne I'd given him for his birthday. But the feel of his lips on mine for the first time caused every thought to fade away in a puff of smoke. He was warm, sweet, and so very close...but not close enough._

…

"_Are you nervous?"_

"_Yeah, a little. You?"_

"_We can't take it back."_

"_We love each other, Edward. We won't want to take it back."_

_I'd never felt as complete as I did once Edward and I were one. It was hard to tell where I ended and he began. And I was drowning in the smell of him, the feel of skin, and the overwhelming emotions that came with it all. He loved me, and at that moment, nothing else in the world mattered._

…

_I dropped the final box onto the living room floor. Our new apartment was small, but it was ours. I spun to see Edward leaning in the doorway, wearing a small smirk on his face as his arms crossed over his chest._

"_Finally," he said, grinning the sexiest, smuggest grin I'd ever seen him wear._

"_We have our own place, Edward!" I squeaked excitedly. We'd waited for so long, put up with every rule our parents laid down, but the time had finally come. I rushed across the room, and he caught me quickly, spinning me around as I wrapped my arms and legs around him. "What do ya wanna do first?" I asked him, smothering his face in kisses._

"_Love you. Right here...on the living room floor."_

_My head fell back with my laugh. "Okay..."_

…

_I checked the locks one more time, then the windows. I left the kitchen light on for Edward for later, and finally, I stepped into our bedroom. Sighing, I slipped into bed. Alone._

_I rolled over, pulling Edward's pillow into my arms so I could at least have his smell, but my phone made me jump._

"_Hey."_

"_Princess, I'm so sorry... I'll be home as soon as I can. Okay?"_

"_No, no, Edward. I get it. You're an intern, so you kinda get used..."_

_He sighed deeply. "Yeah. Did you check the windows? Lock the door?"_

"_Yeah, baby."_

"_Good. Okay. Love you."_

"_Love you, too."_

…

"_Oh, Edward, look," I said sadly, picking up the rough, scrawny kitten. "He's hurt, baby."_

_I heard a chuckle behind me. "He looks starved, Princess. Bring him in. We'll give him something."_

_I closed the front door, nuzzling the small cat. "See if that milk is still in there."_

"_Sure, yeah," he said, diving into the fridge._

_I locked eyes with scared green ones, soothing the kitten that was now purring loudly. "We should keep you. Whoever you belonged to obviously didn't care..." I glanced up at Edward as he slid a small saucer of milk across the counter. "So...what do we name him?"_

_Edward grinned, shrugged one shoulder, and suggested, "Felix the cat, right?"_

…

"_Hey, how 'bout dinner at the Lodge tonight? We can meet here and drive together. We'll go when you're done at work."_

"_Yeah, definitely. I've got a final appointment for the Johnson wedding to show her pictures of the cake that Emmett's finishing up this morning. I'll come from there."_

"_Sounds good, Princess."_

_His lips were warm against mine in comparison to the temperature outside. I gave him one last wave from my car before I backed out first._

…

_My headlights shone on the road, the wipers working furiously. I slowed down to take the curve, but the second I straightened back out, brown fur and glowing eyes were right in front of me._

_I slammed on my brakes, the tires squealing in protest, and suddenly, everything was spinning..._

…

My head throbbed as I squeezed my eyes closed. Noises were too loud, smells were too strong, but the feel of a warm hand in mine was what helped me open my eyes.

The first thing I saw was the speckled white ceiling tiles above me. But something on my face was bugging me, so I reached up to claw at it, only to find I was stopped. I saw movement in the room off to the side, but the only thing that mattered was the soft tone that made everything okay.

I didn't know where I was, how I'd gotten there, or what was happening, but I did know who was by my side.

Turning, I saw him, tears trailing down his handsome face. "Edward?"

"Yeah, Bella...I'm right here, Princess."

I took a deep breath and let it out. If Edward was there, then everything would be okay.

**~ooo~SE~ooo~**

**A/N… We know the rest of the story, but I thought it was good to see and hear what Bella went through. Not to mention get to show a few different memories from their past. I really, really couldn't resist that first kiss in the school parking lot, not to mention the conversation with Carlisle – both past and present. **

**I have a PDF version of this fic with the outtake. It'll go up sometime next week, probably midweek or so. It will have pictures to go with it just like the current one.**

_**Hard to Love **_**is now truly complete. There's still **_**In Pursuit**_** that's still posting over on Sarge's Girls. But after that, I don't have anything planned, so keep me on alert for something in the future. Jenny, however, wrote an amazing o/s for the F4O! Bring your tissues. It's beautiful and sweet and based on a sweet song. Go check hers out. It'll post sometime today. **

**I'll still be around, just taking a writing break. You can find me on FB and Twitter, though I'm mostly on FB these days. All links can be found on my profile. Until next time… Mooches, Deb. **


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